Willfully misgendering someone who identifies as trans is one of the most common forms of transphobic violence. It robs a person of their right to assert who are and denies them agency merely because they don’t perfectly fit into preconceived notions about what it means to be a man, woman, or person living outside of the gender spectrum. In many ways accidental misgendering can wreak that same kind of havoc, but often times the very act isn’t coming from a place of intentional transphobia. Sometimes you just don’t know how to refer to people.

Adult film star Buck Angel, YouTuber Kat Blaque, author Kate Bornstein, and comedian Ian Harvie sat down with Buzzfeed to discuss why, in their opinion, there’s a pressing need for broader usage of transgender pronouns.

“For a long time a lot of people have felt like that they don’t fit into the mold of primarily he or primarily she or maybe they feel that they are a blend of both and that there’s not really a word for that,” Harvie explains. “Everybody else in the world out there can say ‘I am…’ and they identify themselves. Everybody believes them. But when I say ‘I am…’ I don’t know why people just don’t believe us.”

Check out the full video AFTER THE JUMP…