The class-action lawsuit claims that the company age-restricts videos and categorizes them as inappropriate for advertizers because of their LGBTQ content.
But I’m also a proud cisgender, gay, 28-year-old man living in Philadelphia—keyword, proud. Today, I’m comfortable with my sexuality and live carefree with how others perceive me, but this wasn’t always the case. I look back on 14-year-old Derek, alone and anxious right before he came out. He dared not to tell a soul and obsessed with what people thought of him but while still romanticizing on how he could live out his secret.
So I wrote this letter to encourage my younger self and all the other teenage, 20, 30, 40, 50-somethings who struggle to be honest with themselves and everyone else.
Dear Young Derek –
Congratulations. Today, in 2019, you’ve been out now half as long as you’ve been alive. See that mountain you feel you have to climb? I’m on the other side of it in the Promised Land. I should know. I’m you.
First of all, you are not unique. Expand your knowledge. You believe that you are 1 out of 10 who identify as LGBTQ. However, according to a Gallup report, there are 11 million Americans within the LGBTQ community. While that equates to just 3% of the US population, that is still 11 million souls with 11 million different personalities, beliefs, backgrounds, and dreams. Like every living and non-living thing in this world, we are all stardust, made up of the same substances and living under the same sun, on the same rock, experiencing the same motions and emotions of life. So stop thinking that you are unique. However, your story, and, everyone’s story, is.
You cannot see it yet, but you’re on a rainbow path to acceptance—and I know, I know, you don’t like the rainbows. They’re too flashy and an excuse to throw your sexuality in your straight family’s and friends’ faces. Your current motto is cover it up and always sport your “straightness” at all costs. You’re thinking right now, “Exactly. And why do we need a gay parade anyways? Straight people aren’t touting their heterosexualness.” But what you don’t realize is that Pride Month and the parades are to celebrate a movement bigger than your sexuality—a word from the wise, it’s not all about you. I won’t go into much detail but the rainbow flags, shirts, stickers, fill-in-the-blanks, are to celebrate the Stonewall riots and all the progress made for the LGBTQ community since 1969. Take a minute to learn more about the riots and then continue reading this.
You’re an intellectual. Before you tell anyone your secret, you’re obsessing over everyone’s reactions to anytime the topic comes up in conversation. You’re doing your research and getting your hands on as much media and literature as you can to understand how it will impact your relationships, future profession, and self-worth. At this moment, it’s a colossal feat trying to accept it.
You’re still fairly religious at this point—there is a period in your life (circa 2013 to present) in which you question everything, but I hear that’s natural?—and have read and reread those Bible verses that only intensify the fear of your eternal fate with every flick of the page. You’ve spoken with a few of the religious gurus in our network, but their ideas are horrific at worst, ambiguous at best. But talk to dad, his outlook on the subject is enlightening.
Note to self: There’s an LGBTQ gay journalist and activist you admire later but should start looking into now. His ideas around homosexuality in the Bible…?
“We can learn to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about gay people the same way we have learned to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation.” -Dan Savage
If that doesn’t make you feel better, then only time will.
You’ve looked into conversion therapy and wondered if it works. Dive deeper into that topic though and you’ll discover it doesn’t. Those who claim it live their lives in abstinent, childless, and loveless relationships. Still, through it all, you cannot will yourself to stop crushing on that guy or refuse to “walk the dog” on the family computer several times, day and night.
You’re worried. How will people perceive you, mom and dad, and the family unit? Mom and dad know us better than you think. Get it out and don’t drag it on. In fact, we don’t. A succession of events will take place the summer before high school, and all will be out in roughly two weeks. You just freaked out and anxiety is creeping in. Ground yourself. There’s nothing to fret. Before the coming out process, you start with small wins. The first time you admit it will be to our dog, Harley. Shortly after, two of our best friends, both of whom are happy for us. Then our sisters—stop worrying about being labeled the “gay uncle,” rather, for your first Pride parade you wear a “Guncle” shirt—and then mom and dad. The day you tell them will be the night you sleep better than you have in a long time. But keep the conversation going. Like our sister said in her letter you’ll soon receive, “don’t let this be something we don’t talk about.”
You need to pay homage. Coming out impacts those you love. Your fear about your secret affecting the family’s reputation is understandable. You worry about mom and dad’s friendships. Up to this point, we haven’t explicitly talked to them about this, but knowing them, there is nothing stronger than blood. Family comes first. If there are those who do not support the family tribe, then they were not meant to be a part of it in the first place. But you’ll be pleasantly surprised that nothing really changes.
Keep in mind, you are their only son. Every parent dreams about who their child will grow up to be: what career they choose, who they marry, how many children, the whole gamut. Confirm to mom and dad that their dreams are still part of our reality. The only difference is the person you marry is someone else’s son—a trivial alteration in the grandiose of life.
In high school, you will be fine. Kids will find out—you’re in denial that they will, but they do. Again, ground yourself. At first you’ll care, but by sophomore year, it’s old news and you won’t give it a second thought. You’ll have a crush, but this is only the beginning and the best is yet to come.
At the start of college, you find yourself. During the first week, you’re nervous and shy away from telling your roommate and suitemates. However, because of their maturity, it quickly reveals itself. Best of all, no one cares. You soon participate in GSA clubs and sit on a panel to shed light on incoming and current classmen’s questions and concerns. You even go back to your high school and talk about it to the senior class. Be a beacon of light for those who seek it.
Throughout school, you’re in love. I won’t give away much—there are not enough surprises in this world and besides you need to figure this one out on your own—but dating comes naturally to you. I will say, the summer before junior year is soul-crushing, but it only lasts for a short couple of months. The fall semester of 2012 is when the real fun begins. Relish in this time as you are also on the brink of sharing life’s next chapter with someone really special. Just keep your head up. I wish I was back in your shoes.
Another side note: Love is wonderful. It’s fun, messy, motivating, emotional, confusing, and heartbreaking, but it’s a wondrous journey. Granted, you’re a hormonal 14, soon-to-be 15-year-old, meaning you have sex on the brain. Sex is great. Live that part up. But don’t rush it. You have your whole life to enjoy it. Just be smart.
But ready for me to rock your world? You are not gay. Gay is a part of you.
There is another tidbit you get from another sister that doesn’t sink in immediately, but it will. While you are gay, you have other gifts to offer this world. Do not let it define you.
Derek does not equal gay. Derek equals the sum of his character traits. Do not boil down who you are to your sexuality. Otherwise, if everyone did that, cities would not rise, the world would not be explored, diseases would never be cured, art would not have meaning, and ideas would never come to fruition. Use your gifts to leave this world in a better place than when you arrived. That’s why I say you are not only gay.
You must use your voice. It is now your innate responsibility to let others know that it’s ok to be unapologetically who they are regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or intimate relationship and that it does, in fact, get better:
Speak out so that heteronormative assumptions and homophobia are obliterated and the notion of ‘coming out’ is obsolete.
Speak out so that people are recognized by their character regardless of who they love or choose to engage in sex.
Speak out to move society away from fear, discrimination, and hate. Speak out so that one day no one will have to.
You will love that you’re gay. You can’t fathom that now, but it transforms from a blemish you deny to a badge you adorn. It’s more than a relief to accept it. It’s a lifelong satisfaction that you are who you are, and there’s no stopping you. Out of all the things anyone could ever take from you, your sense of assured, yet modest self-worth is unwavering. This is why it’s vitally important that through your words and actions, you instill self-confidence in those who struggle to accept their sexuality. You’ve got a light kid, so let others see it.
Today, you volunteer at local LGBTQ nonprofits. You present to your colleagues about the importance of Pride. You speak on podcasts about your story. And you write articles on how employers can improve their LGBTQ inclusion.
What I’m saying is that while you struggle with it now, you won’t for much longer. You accept it, enjoy it, and use it to help others perpetuate the same cycle.
There’s more in store for us that we don’t know yet. It’s going to keep getting better. So tell those who struggle with it that it will also get better for them too. I’ll be on the lookout for letters from our more mature future self.
Love,
You
P.S. For those who are struggling, please contact The Trevor Project or seek out local LGBTQ youth programs. This mountain you fear now will be a molehill you look fondly on later.
Derek Herman is an activist, writer, and proud gayman. Having published works in Forbes, HuffPost, and Thrive Global, he uses his voice to continue the drive for equality. By day, he works in media and communications telling others’ stories and by night, dabbles in acting telling characters’ stories.
“thank u, next” artist Ariana Grande has always been an open supporter of the LGBTQ community and earlier this year, she collaborated with T-Mobile to support HRC Foundation. Grande is nominated in five categories, including a nod for Album of the Year.
AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION REAFFIRMS NEED TO PROTECT LGBTQ YOUTH FROM SO-CALLED “CONVERSION THERAPY”: Said HRC President Alphonso David (@AlphonsoDavid): “No child should have to endure this painful and life-threatening practice, and we are glad to see the AMA taking seriously the need to protect LGBTQ youth… The voices of medical professionals have long been central to the growing support for LGBTQ-inclusive laws, policies and communities — these AMA policies continue that trend.” More from Metro Weekly.
Medical professionals have long been central to the growing support for LGBTQ-inclusive laws, policies & communities. Grateful to the @AmerMedicalAssn for adopting these policies, including reaffirming need to protect LGBTQ youth from “conversion therapy.”t.co/BjFyTJi2Ne
LAST NIGHT, HRC PRESIDENT JOINED SLAVE PLAY CAST MEMBERS ON BROADWAY FOR POST-PERFORMANCE DISCUSSION: The LGBTQ+ Night Out event featureD a performance of the play, and a Talk Forward discussion led by HRC President Alphonso David (@AlphonsoDavid), with guests HRC Board Chair Jodie Patterson and Slave Play cast members Ato Blankson-Wood and James Cusati-Moyer, queer actors who play a same-sexcouple in the groundbreaking work. Said David: “In our fight for full equality, we cannot ignore how the dark forces of our shared past continue to push the rights and lives of people of color and LGBTQ people to the margins, and how our work must break down these systems that ultimately dehumanize all of us.” More from HRC.
Thank you to all who were able to join us for @SlavePlayBway‘s LGBTQ+ Night performance and our discussion about the complexities and revelations of this startling, disturbing, and astonishingly revealing play. pic.twitter.com/OHEg2Ux7vH
FEEL GOOD FRIDAY — LIL NAS X BECOMES FIRST OPENLY GAY RAPPER NOMINATED IN TOP GRAMMY CATEGORIES: The iconic rapper (@LilNasX), fresh off his historic win at the Country Music Association, has nabbed six Grammy nominations, including best record, album and new artist. More from The Los Angeles Times.
THE CENSUS BUREAU ESTIMATES THERE ARE NEARLY 1 MILLION SAME-SEX COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER NATIONWIDE: This figure includes married and unmarried couples — and makes up 1% of the overall population. More from Roll Call.
LOS ANGELES OPENS COUNTY’S FIRST PUBLICLY-FUNDED SHELTER FOR TRANS WOMEN: Casa Zulma will offer more than 16 beds for those in need, as well as supportive services. More from Curbed Los Angeles.
GET CULTURED – Entertainment, arts and sports news!
OPENLY GAY COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL COACH NAMED ‘CONFERENCE COACH OF THE YEAR’: Coleman Lee is the head women’s volleyball coach at Central Methodist University in Missouri, where he coaches alongside his husband Garrett Case. More from Outsports.
MAKEUP ARTIST MARIO DEDIVANOVIC COMES OUT AS GAY IN MOVING SPEECH AT AMERICAN INFUENCER AWARDS: Dedivanovic (@MakeupByMario) won the Artistic Achievement Award at the ceremony. More from Allure.
READING RAINBOW – Bookmark now to read on your lunch break!
Datebook reviews the new documentary ‘Gay Chorus Deep South’; HRC interviews Sayer Johnson, co-founder of the Metro Trans Umbrella Group
Franklin Graham: Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy Personally Assured Me Their Anti-LGBTQ Ways Will Continue
Evangelist Franklin Graham said on Thursday that he called Chick-fil-A CEO and can assure everyone that the company’s anti-LGBTQ ways aren’t changing anytime soon. Earlier this week, a media report said that Christian-owned Chick-fil-A promised to stop giving to anti-LGBTQ charities, a vow it has made at least once before, and broken.
Wrote Graham: “Has Chick-fil-A caved? Some are saying they’ve rolled over, that they’ve conceded to the LGBTQ protests because they released a statement about their charitable giving. They announced that in 2020 they’re giving to fight hunger and homelessness and support education. What’s wrong with that? I picked up the phone and called Dan Cathy. Dan was very clear that they have not bowed down to anyone’s demands, including the LGBTQ community. They will continue to support whoever they want to support. They haven’t changed who they are or what they believe. Chick-fil-A remains committed to Christian values. Dan Cathy assured me that this isn’t going to change. I hope all those who jumped to the wrong conclusion about them read this.”
“In my opinion, the gay movement wouldn’t ever be happy with Chick-fil-A unless they were open on Sunday, gave all of their charitable donations to LGBTQ organizations, and flew the rainbow flag over their stores!,” Graham added. Their hatred for Chick-fil-A is rooted in founder Truett Cathy’s strong stand for biblical “traditional” values and his desire to honor God. No fast food chain does a better job. I went through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A yesterday morning, and I thought I might get dinner there—but a whole lot of other people had the same idea! A Chick-fil-A sandwich with waffle fries sounds really good right now!”
What to Watch: Singing twinks, Ian McKellen’s spilled tea, Mr. Rogers & Mark Ruffalo on a crusade
Stepping out on a movie date this weekend? Netflix and chillin? Whatever your entertainment needs, we got your back (and hopefully your mind) with Queerty’s weekly “Culture Club” column with some of the highlights of new releases, streaming shows, classics worth revisiting, and what to drink while you watch.
The Step-Out: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Director Marielle Heller (Can You Ever Forgive Me)continues her winning streak with this new film that features Oscar-winner Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers. Less a biopic of Fred Rogers than a story of his inspirational legacy, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood focuses on a reporter named Lloyd (Matthew Rhys) who gets hired to write a profile on Rogers. The simple assignment turns into a life-changing experience as Rogers’ sincerity erodes Lloyd’s cynicism, and forces him to face his complicated feelings for his wife (Susan Kelechi Watson) and alcoholic father (Chris Cooper). Hanks and Rhys give touching, effective performances, though Cooper steals the movie with a performance so powerful he might just land himself another Oscar. In short, don’t miss it.
In theatres November 22.
The Buzz: Dark Waters
Queer director Todd Haynes returns with this true story environmental thriller in the vein of The Insider and Erin Brockovich. Mark Ruffalo gives one of his best performances as Rob Bilott, a lawyer who stumbles onto a pattern of sickness and death linked to the chemical company DuPont. Anne Hathaway and Tim Robbins also star, though the movie belongs to Ruffalo’s paranoid everyman, and to Haynes himself, who displays a hereto unseen talent for suspense, tension and commercial storytelling. Dark Waters might just be one of the best films of the year, so make sure to check it out.
Opens in select theatres November 22. A wider release will follow November 27.
The Stream: Dolly Parton’s America
In addition to her delightful new Netflix offering, Heartstrings, Ms. Parton has launched her own podcast discussing her life, career, artistry and views on living in—you guessed it—America. This week’s episode, entitled “The One and Only For Me, Jolene” documents Parton’s relationship with the queer community, how and why she became a queer icon, and how she feels about her LGBTQ fans. It’s a must for Dolly fans, and a fascinating look at how her acceptance has made inroads for queer people in some surprising places.
Streams on YouTube, Spotify and iTunes. New episodes release every Tuesday.
The Read: Ian McKellen – A Biography
It’s about damn time. Writer Gary O’Connor finally does what somebody should have done years ago: penned a biography of Ian McKellen. Needless to say, McKellen is both one of the greatest actors in the world and a pioneer for LGBTQ rights, having come out back in the 1980s. O’Connor traces McKellen’s rise as a Shakespearean actor, his transition to film and his explosion as a megastar, as well as some sensitive episodes from Sir Ian’s personal life. McKellen fascinates us on the screen. O’Connor’s biography makes us realize that McKellen’s life is just as interesting.
In bookstores November 26.
The Spin: Twinkids – Lizard House
Queer electropop duo Twinkids (so is that Twin KIDS or Twink IDS? We like the latter.) drop their new EP this week, Lizard House, featuring some delightful synthesized dance tracks with a homoerotic slant. Our favorite: the first single “Pscyho,” a neo-new wave jam about a break-up. It strikes a good balance between a chill-out tune and a poppy driving song. That, along with a certain sensuality to the melody, makes it catchy, sexy fun.
Streams on Soundcloud November 22.
The Jam: Jakk Fynn – Fire
Speaking of queer artists, trans-Latinx artist Jakk Fynn drops his latest single this week, a mediation and indictment on the restrictions of societal gender norms. The video for “Fire” depicts an Orwellian dystopia where people are labeled and forced into different categories. The “fire,” therefore, is the undeniable urge to accept inner impulses to explore sex and gender outside of societal constraints. Call it political pop music; a tune that deserves a listen.
Streams on YouTube.
The Sip: Dark and Stormy
In honor of Dark Waters, this week we’re recommending a potent and delicious rum drink which will make you nice and relaxed, as well as aroused in just the right way.
2 ounces dark rum
5 ounces ginger beer
Lime wedge
Mix rum & ginger beer over ice in a tall glass. Stir. Add lime as garnish.
HRC President Alphonso David To Join Slave Play Cast for LGBTQ+ Night Discussion
HRC announced that it is heading to Broadway tomorrow for LGBTQ+ Night at the Golden Theater in partnership with “Slave Play.” The evening will feature a post-performance Talk Forward discussion led by HRC President Alphonso David, with guests HRC Board Chair Jodie Patterson and “Slave Play” cast members Ato Blankson-Wood and James Cusati-Moyer, queer actors who play a gaycouple in the groundbreaking work.
“Equal measures startling, disturbing and astonishingly revealing, “Slave Play” cracks open the American experience to reveal the pain and beauty at the heart of our identities,” said HRC President Alphonso David.“In our fight for full equality, we cannot ignore how the dark forces of our shared past continue to push the rights and lives of people of color and LGBTQ people to the margins, and how our work must break down these systems that ultimately dehumanize all of us. I am grateful for the opportunity to experience this transformative play again, and am looking forward to diving into the complexities and revelations of the play with Jodie Paterson, Ato Blankson-Wood and James Cusati-Moyer.”
Written by Jeremy O. Harris, who has been called the “queer Black savior the theater world needs,”“Slave Play” explores race and lust and history in a performance the New York Times described as “willfully provocative, gaudily transgressive and altogether staggering.” Harris was recently named Out 100’s Showman of the Year.
For more information about “Slave Play” and to purchase tickets, go to slaveplaybroadway.com/
Presidential Primary Debate Failed to Mention Anti-Trans Violence on Transgender Day of Remembrance
NEW YORK – GLAAD, the world’s largest LGBTQ media advocacy organization, tonight released the following statement at the conclusion of the fifth presidential primary debate in the key battleground state of Georgia, a debate which saw the media fail to mention the lives of at least 22 transgender Americans who have lost their lives due to anti-trans prejudice. This negligence only adds to the complete omission of LGBTQ issues on the national debate stage — similar to what happened in 2016.
“Another Democratic debate has come and gone, and there were still zero direct questions about LGBTQ issues — not even a moment to recognize today’s Transgender Day of Remembrance and the lives we’ve lost due to the epidemic in anti-trans violence,” said Sarah Kate Ellis, President and CEO of GLAAD. “It is a slap in the face to LGBTQ Americans that not one of the candidates nor the media could join in mourning the at least twenty-two transgender women of color killed this year in anti-transgender violence. Trans issues, specifically violence against transgender women of color, is an issue at the heart of the LGBTQ community — and it’s time for a leader who will work to stop the violence that trans people face.”
Transgender Day of Remembrance was founded by Gwendolyn Ann Smith in 1999 and is observed every year on Nov. 20. The day directly follows Transgender Awareness Week, which is held Nov. 13-19. In 2019 so far, at least 22 transgender people have been killed. Currently, President Trump and his administration have largely used their 130 anti-LGBTQ attacks to target transgender Americans — in schools, at the doctor’s office, and even in military service.
ON THIS TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE, READ ABOUT HOW THE TRANS COMMUNITY IS STILL NAVIGATING “A CONFLICTED REALITY OF BREATHROUGHS AND BARRIERS”:USA Today’s Susan Miller (@susmiller) writes on state of transgender visibility and rights, from Democratic presidential candidates including transgender rights in their platforms to this tragic reality — 22 transgender and gender non-conforming people are known to have been killed in 2019. More from USA Today.
PROFILES IN TRANS ADVOCACY AND POWER:
Building community with Chastity Nicole Petty Carter. As program coordinator of the Beyond Identities Community Center (BICC) for the AIDS Taskforce of Cleveland, Carter runs day-to-day activities, including the youth center, where Black young people receive resources and training to be advocates in their communities. More from HRC.
Empowering the transgender community one relationship at a time. Health and equity consultant Tori Cooper talks about supporting and empowering the transgender community in Atlanta through advocacy training, housing and education. More from HRC.
HRC RELEASES 2019 MUNICIPAL EQUALITY INDEX, HIGHLIGHTING INCREASING INCLUSIVENESS OF OF CITIES NATIONWIDE: A record-setting 88 cities across the U.S. earned the highest score possible in HRC’s eighth annual Municipal Equality Index (MEI).“We have the federal government stripping away protections that LGBT people have had for decades,” said HRC President Alphonso David (@AlphonsoDavid). “So, it’s even more important that states and localities take the affirmative step to protect LGBTQ people.” More from WPSU.
More coverage from HRC’s launch of the MEI in State College, Pennsylvania in the Centre Daily Times.
And check out this comprehensive Iowa City Press-Citizen report about the MEI launch there, and how Iowa municipalities fared in this year’s assessment, here.
We are on the ground in State College, PA today joining with local leaders & advocates to launch @HRC‘s Municipal Equality Index. This year’s MEI lays out in vivid detail how municipalities are stepping up for fairness & equality by protecting LGBTQ residents & visitors. pic.twitter.com/qJwi8QnzMY
KIDS ARE KIDS — NEW STUDY SHOWS TRANS CHILDREN LIVING AUTHENTICALLY DEVELOP SIMILARLY TO THEIR CISGENDER PEERS: “The most surprising finding is, overall, just how similar transgender and cisgender kids looked,” study co-author Selin Gülgöz told Newsweek. “What this means is that, if I saw the data of any random participant, I would not be able to tell if that child is transgender or cisgender.” More from Newsweek.
REMEMBERING THE LEGACY OF FORMER IOWA SUPREME COURT CHIEF JUSTICE MARK CADY: More from the Des Moines Register and HRC.
Mark Cady was a champion for equality who worked tirelessly to protect the rights of all Iowans. Cady’s legacy and service in the Iowa Supreme Court will continue to impact and change the lives of LGBTQ Iowans nationwide. t.co/K5pvPT3j1L
GET CULTURED – Entertainment, arts and sports news! HRC ANNOUNCES CONTEST TO ATTEND RED CARPET PREMIERE OF THE L WORD: GENERATION Q: More from HRC.
GLOBAL EQUALITY NEWS
INTER-AMERICAN COMMISSION ON HUMAN RIGHTS HOLDS HEARING FOCUSED ON CHALLENGING JAMAICA’S COLONIAL-ERA SODOMY LAW: More from Washington Blade.
HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVISTS CONDEMN PUNISHMENT OF MALAYSIAN MEN FOR SAME-SEX RELATIONS: More from South China Morning Post.
READING RAINBOW – Bookmark now to read on your lunch break! Pride spotlights student Reid Arthur coming out in a dazzling Taylor Swift lip sync; WLRN reports on a new photo exhibit in Wilton Manors highlighting transgender and non-binary couples; Hyperallergic shares Kia LaBeija’s powerful performance debut honoring a queer, Black femme story of collective liberation
2004 Family Christmas Movie Goes Viral After Viewers Discover Nearly Identical Gay and Straight Versions, Created by Swapping One Parent
The 2004 movies Too Cool for Christmas and A Very Cool Christmas went viral this week after social media realized that they are the exact same movie expect for one parent, who was swapped out to create a gay and straight version of the films.
Director Sam Irvin spoke to Buzzfeed News about the films: “Back in those days, there was a little bit less open-mindedness to having gay characters. [Filmmakers thought] they would have better chances of selling [the straight version] to those more lucrative markets, but also be able to do an alternate version.”
Irvin said he created the gay version for the LGBTQ network Here TV because it couldn’t afford to finance a full movie so filmmakers swapped a gay actor into the straight version, being produced by Lifetime after networks agreed on the deal. The straight version is now on Hulu and the gay version on Amazon Prime.
Wrote one Twitter user: “Other than the gender of the actor that plays the other parent, the two versions of the film are virtually identical with identical lines being delivered by both the actors and the actress and the exact same camera shots being used for their scenes in both versions…one for the more tolerant Canadian audience and the other one for the presumably more conservative US audience at the time.”
Irvin said it was his insistence that they be identical: “I’m an openly gay director and they said, ‘Why don’t you tweak the dialogue for the dads to make it more gay or whatever?’ And I said, ‘Absolutely not. The whole point would be that there is no difference at all, and it shouldn’t matter.’ I wouldn’t do it.”