Gay Dads Share Their Personal Stories For Father's Day
Gay Dads Share Their Personal Stories For Father's Day
This week in the Huffington Post Gay Voices RaiseAChild.US “Let Love Define Family” series, gay fathers from around the country tell us about their Father’s Day plans and memories, and what this special day means to them.
What does Father’s Day mean to you?
Eric Van Herwaarden (Fraser, Colo.): It is everything to us. Being fathers is something no one can take away! It does not matter if you are a bio, step, adoptive, or foster dad because it is the love you have for the child that does matter. I never thought I could be a father because growing up I was told that being gay is a lonely life, but that is far from the truth. My partner, Philip, and I created a life that revolves around family values and Father’s Day is a wonderful time to reflect on that.
Dan Barcus (Antioch, Ill.): Before I became a foster/adoptive dad, Father’s Day was another unmet dream that seemed far away. Since my own father passed long ago, I had celebrated it with my amazing Gramps. Now, as a [single] dad whose kids all have important relationships with their bio dads and whom all call me Dan, I take great joy in the day, even though my kids will often forget my role in their lives, or don’t realize it is Father’s Day. I don’t care — I relish the little joys I get every day that I couldn’t conceive of before adopting and now cannot imagine life without my kids.
Christopher Long (Long Island, NY): My partner, Paul, and I have been blessed with five extraordinary boys! Father’s Day has a whole new meaning as we have come to realize the importance of the partnership between father and son and the many critical roles we play that our children have come to rely upon: friend, advisor, teacher, hero, endless enthusiast and role model.
Brett Henry (New York, N.Y.): For decades the idea of a gay couple adopting seemed only like a pipe dream. Only in the past ten years had Phil and I even begun to believe this could be a reality for us. It was a reality that didn’t come easy. We fought curve balls thrown at us from many sides in order to adopt. But any child adopted by an LGBT couple like ourselves has to know how doubly special they are that we not only chose them, but fought hard for them! Once all the hard work to adopt was finished, the real work of raising a child began. I think on Father’s day we might just sleep!
Rob Watson (Santa Cruz, Calif.): As a gay man who thought that fatherhood would be forever denied me, Father’s Day now feels like a tour of a club in which I never thought I would be a member. I always wanted to become a dad, but because I knew I was gay I got the subtle and overt messages that it would never happen for me and I would need to make other life plans. Because of that, I have tended to use it as a day where I speak out, rather than take in, so that young gay men of today can know that if they want it, they too can be not only fathers, but great dads. Therefore, Father’s Day for me personally is a day in this time and place that means “Don’t let the societal limitations that you are told hold you back, stay true to who you are, and you can be all you dream of being.”
What will you be doing this Father’s Day?
Eric Van Herwaarden (Fraser, Colo.): Camping! We are so busy during the week that we decided to get a camper and since we live in the Colorado Rockies we don’t have to go far to “get away” from it all.
David Taylor (Salt Lake City, Utah): Well, our daughter is only four, so Dave and I asked her what she would like to do for our big day! She told us that she wants to have a picnic in the park. When we asked her what food we were having she said, “Chicken crackers (Chicken in a Biscuit) and juice!” Yum! But regardless of the holiday, we always tell our daughter that she is our greatest gift, and that she is all that we’ll ever need.
Rob Watson (Santa Cruz, Calif.): We will be spending Fathers Day with my 89-year-old dad. I fear it may be his last, or potentially the last one where he may be mentally aware, which makes it both special and bittersweet. My greatest joy is that he has seen me walk in his legacy, that of being a dad myself, raising my two 11-year-old sons. That my great dad sees me also as a great dad has been one of my life’s great fulfillments.
Ricardo Ortiz-Barreto (Los Angeles, Calif.): Jesse and I will spend it at the RaiseAChild.US Father’s Day Brunch at The Abbey!
Jamison Hebert (Los Angeles, Calif.): This Father’s Day my husband Alec, our son Zion and I will be in Honolulu at the Rainbow Film Festival screening our newest project, the film “Alec Mapa: Baby Daddy.” The film uses my husband Alec Mapa’s stand-up comedy as a platform to retell the story of how Zion came to be our adopted child through the foster care system. What better way to spend Father’s Day than in paradise celebrating a film that highlights our biggest gift of all, our son Zion?
Do you have a special Father’s Day tradition in your home?
Eric Van Herwaarden (Fraser, Colo.): No, not yet but it is a very special day to us! I look forward to reading what traditions other gay dads have though.
Ricardo Ortiz-Barreto (Los Angeles, Calif.): When the boys were living at home, they would make us breakfast. So now that all four sons have moved out on their own, I guess Jesse and I will have to do “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to see who gets breakfast in bed from now on.
What was Father’s Day like before you became a foster/adoptive parent?
Eric Van Herwaarden (Fraser, Colo.): They were uneventful for both Philip and me. We love our dads, but it was usually just a phone call to wish them a Happy Father’s Day. When I first came out to my dad the first thing he said was, “I thought you were smarter then that.” When your dad does not fully accept who you are it is hard to celebrate the day with them.
Noel Ampel (Los Angeles, Calif.): Prior to adopting my two boys, Father’s Day was a holiday that often evoked memories of my father’s traditions: a dozen of freshly baked, assorted donuts that had been acquired long before I woke to begin my day. As I gently eased into reality, motivated by the source of the sweet smell, I gave meaning to the day by the gift my father brought to me. The meaning has jettisoned into new traditions; homemade cards complimented by personal artwork, creations using Legos that baffle the imagination, and a family breakfast with culinary favorites such as smoked salmon, bagels, pastries and eggs. Adoption is defined in varied ways: adopting children to enhance and enrich our lives, adopting a new set of priorities, and the adoption of new sources of unconditional love. It is with great anticipation and excitement that I look forward to the annual special day, one in which I wear the title of father proudly.
What is one of your favorite Father’s Day memories?
Eric Van Herwaarden (Fraser, Colo.): My first Father’s Day as a dad! All the hard work and emotional stress was worth it because we are now a family and I know I will always be there for my son.
Ricardo Ortiz-Barreto (Los Angeles, Calif.): Father’s Day is always a couple of days before or after my birthday on June 19, so the best memory was when our first two sons John and Richard arrived to live with us on June 10 and we took them camping to Lake Hemet for Father’s Day and my birthday.
Ron Guzman (Woodland Hills, Calif.): Our son made us a booklet of coupons — for items such as a car wash, taking out the trash and washing the dogs — as a gift when he was in the fifth grade. Each coupon had to be torn off and signed prior to redemption. It was such a special thought that Ken and I never redeemed any of them and we hold it as one of the best gifts he’s ever given us.
RaiseAChild.US is holding two special events on Father’s Day for parents and prospective parents! A free Father’s Day Concert for all parents and prospective parents will take place Father’s Day Concert from 1 to 3 pm at West Hollywood Park, 647 N. San Vicente Boulevard in West Hollywood. The event will have kid-friendly activities including balloons and face painting, and opportunities to meet RaiseAChild.US’s foster/adoptive partner agencies. The fourth annual Gay Father’s Day Brunch will be held from 11 am to 1 pm at The Abbey, 692 N. Robertson Boulevard in West Hollywood. Cost: $19 for adults and $7 for children under 14 years of age. To RSVP, contact [email protected].
Corinne Lightweaver is the Communications Manager at RaiseAChild.US, a national organization headquartered in Hollywood, California that encourages the LGBT community to build families through fostering and adopting to serve the needs of the 400,000 children in the U.S. foster care system. RaiseAChild.US works with foster and adoption agencies that have received training in LGBT cultural competence through the Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s “All Children-All Families” initiative. Since 2011, RaiseAChild.US has run media campaigns to educate prospective parents and the public, and has engaged more than 2,000 prospective parents. For information about how you can become a foster or fost/adopt parent, visit www.RaiseAChild.US and click on “Next Step to Parenthood.”
Businesswoman given life sentence for stabbing lesbian lover as she slept
Businesswoman given life sentence for stabbing lesbian lover as she slept
Chooi Cheung attacked her lover and former employee with a knife, suspecting she was leaving the country with money she had lent her
liamj
www.gaystarnews.com/article/businesswoman-given-life-sentence-stabbing-lesbian-lover-she-slept130614
Friday Speed Read: Wisconsin, Hillary Clinton, Lauren Scott, Jack Phillips
Friday Speed Read: Wisconsin, Hillary Clinton, Lauren Scott, Jack Phillips
BY LISA KEEN / Keen News Service
WISCONSIN HEARING TODAY:
U.S. District Court Judge Barbara Crabb will hold a hearing this afternoon to determine how to word her final injunction against Wisconsin’s ban on same-sex couples marrying. Crabb could issue a stay on her decision, as could the Seventh Circuit federal appeals court. Currently, clerks in about half of Wisconsin’s counties are issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
NPR HOST SUGGESTS CLINTON DECEPTIVE:
National Public Radio host Terry Gross tried to get presumptive presidential nominee Hillary Clinton to admit she waited until the public supported same-sex marriage before acknowledging that she supports it, too. In the interview, aired Thursday on Gross’ Fresh Air, Gross said “a lot of people still oppose gay rights” and asked whether Clinton was influenced by that opposition to delay her own public support for marriage equality. “I think you’re trying to say that I used to be opposed and now I am in favor and that I did it for political reasons,” said Clinton. “That’s just flat wrong.” “No,” said Gross, “I was saying that you maybe really … believed in gay marriage all along but felt for political reasons America wasn’t ready yet and you couldn’t say it.” “No, that’s not true,” said Clinton. “I did not grow up even imagining gay marriage and I don’t think you did either. This was an incredible new and important idea that people on the front lines of the gay rights movement began to talk about and slowly but surely convinced others about the rightness of that position. When I was ready to say what I said, I said it.”
RADICAL AND SNEAKY, TOO? NPR’s
Terry Gross also said former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton did what many might consider a “radical” thing when she included mention of transgendered people in a speech about respecting human rights. Gross questioned Clinton’s decision to add gender identity to the State Department employment policy and to make it “easier for Americans to change their sex on their passport.” “Did you have to sneak that in?” asked Gross. “I have a feeling that if a lot of people had known that, you would have gotten a lot of pushback for that.” “I don’t think it was any big secret,” said Clinton. “I think it was part of the overall efforts to try to treat people with dignity and equality.”
TRANS REPUBLICAN WINS NEVADA PRIMARY:
Here’s something genuinely radical: a transgender candidate won a Republican primary for a Nevada assembly seat Tuesday. Lauren Scott, who was a Democrat until three years ago, won 58 percent of the vote over one other candidate for the nomination to represent the district that includes parts of Reno and Carson City. Republican Governor Brian Sandoval endorsed Scott in the June 10 primary. She’ll now run against incumbent Democrat Michael Sprinkle. This was Scott’s second run for the seat. She is a business consultant, a veteran of the Air Force, a former lobbyist for Equality Nevada, and a former member of the state Equal Rights Commission. If she wins the seat, she will become the first transgender person to serve in a state legislature.
BAKER LOSES ROUND TWO:
A bakery in Lakewood, Colorado lost its second round in an effort to refuse service same-sex couples by claiming the owner’s religious beliefs prevent him from selling them a wedding cake. The Colorado Commission on Civil Rights May 30 upheld the decision of an administrative law judge who ruled Jack Phillips violated the state law against discrimination in public accommodations when he refused to sell a same-sex couple a cake for their wedding celebration in 2012.
© 2014 Keen News Service. All rights reserved.
Lisa Keen
TfL Image – Ride with Pride Barclays Cycle Hire bikes
PHOTOS: The Streets of Salt Lake City Pride
PHOTOS: The Streets of Salt Lake City Pride
Thanks to photographers Pamela Ann Berry and Alex Gallivan in the area, absorb the sights of Salt Lake City Pride, which was held this past weekend.
Advocate.com Editors
www.advocate.com/pride/2014/06/13/photos-streets-salt-lake-city-pride
British Embassy proudly raises gay pride flag in Tel Aviv
British Embassy proudly raises gay pride flag in Tel Aviv
To mark gay pride in Tel Aviv, the British Embassy is flying the gay pride flag to show their support
liamj
www.gaystarnews.com/article/british-embassy-proudly-raises-gay-pride-flag-tel-aviv130614
LGBT PRIDE: Jodi and Dana's Wedding
LGBT PRIDE: Jodi and Dana's Wedding
LGBT PRIDE: Jodi and Dana’s Wedding.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHTWP8MhB3U&feature=youtube_gdata
Andrew Rannells to take over for Neil Patrick Harris in Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Andrew Rannells to take over for Neil Patrick Harris in Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Tony winning production will extend its Broadway run through October with a new star
gregh
LGBT PRIDE: Colby Melvin & Brandon Brown Engagement
LGBT PRIDE: Colby Melvin & Brandon Brown Engagement
LGBT PRIDE: Colby Melvin & Brandon Brown Engagement.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZzrDo-w1eg&feature=youtube_gdata
