Op-ed: Calling Bisexuality a Phase Is Hurtful
Author Amy Leibowitz says celebrities who publicly claim bisexuality should be careful about calling it a phase.
Amy Leibowitz
www.advocate.com/commentary/2014/10/22/op-ed-calling-bisexuality-phase-hurtful
'Mystery Woman' Involved In Teddy Pendergrass' Paralyzing Accident Speaks Out, 30 Years Later (VIDEO)
In 1982, charismatic soul singer Teddy Pendergrass was at the peak of his career when he slammed his Rolls Royce into a tree, leaving him paralyzed from the chest down. Though there were no other vehicles involved in the crash, there was a passenger in Pendergrass’ car. In the wake of the accident, questions emerged about this mystery woman. Her name was Tenika Watson, a nightclub performer and transgender woman.
At first, there were rumors and speculation about the cause and details surrounding the accident, but Pendergrass remained focused on his recovery and his music. Watson, too, kept quiet. In fact, in the 30 years since the accident, Watson has rarely spoken about what happened that day or about the nature of her relationship with Pendergrass. Now, in an interview with “Oprah: Where Are They Now?,” she tells her side of the story.
Like many Pendergrass fans, Watson admired the popular artist. “Teddy was a big star,” she remembers. “His music was always playing. You couldn’t get any bigger than he was, and he was a very handsome man, I must say.”
Back then, Watson, a former prostitute, lived near the studio where Pendergrass recorded his music, and one day, she saw him walking down the street. “He called me over to his car — it was a Rolls Royce,” Watson says. “I thought he was a pimp because I wasn’t used to people really having Rolls Royces.”
Instead of talking with Pendergrass, Watson says she ran away. The other time they met was at a popular club in Philadelphia, where Watson was working as a nightclub entertainer and model. The two struck up a conversation and when Watson said it was time for her to go home, Pendergrass offered her a ride.
That’s when both of their lives would change.
“First, the car started speeding up really fast, and I was wondering, ‘Was he driving fast?’ — but he wasn’t. It was out of control,” Watson says. “Then I noticed he was struggling with the wheel, and all of a sudden I heard this great big bang.”
The next moments were a blur. “The next thing I know, the press was there,” she says.
Watson was relatively unhurt — she had contusions and a chipped tooth — so she boarded the ambulance with Pendergrass and accompanied him to the hospital. She didn’t stay, however, and only learned about Pendergrass’ paralysis when it was reported in the newspapers.
Soon after the accident, Watson tried to reach out to Pendergrass, but was unsuccessful. “I went to the hospital where he was and there was a woman there. She said, ‘Well, you’re not going to see him before his son does,’ and she caused this big scene,” Watson says. “I just left.”
Two days after the accident, news broke of Watson’s past, including the gender confirmation surgery she’d undergone five years prior (“I don’t think Teddy knew about my transition at all,” she says today) and her multiple arrests for prostitution.
In light of these facts, rumors swirled that Watson and Pendergrass were intimately involved during the moment of the crash. “The hardest thing for me to read was for them to insinuate that there was a sex act going [on],” she says. “There wasn’t.”
Watson was dropped by her modeling agency before her career could even get off the ground and says that she was forced back into prostitution to support herself. She also became addicted to drugs. “The doctor started giving me Valium, and the Valium made me feel like I could deal with things better. I got hooked on them,” Watson admits. “I became strung out on drugs later.”
In 2002, Watson finally got her chance to meet with Pendergrass. “Someone called me that knew Teddy’s mother and they said, ‘Tenika, you have to get here quick because Teddy’s mother wants to see you,'” she says. “So I got myself together and went to where his mother was. She said, ‘If you want to talk to Teddy his out in the car.'”
That’s when Watson and Pendergrass came face to face for the first time in three decades.
“We didn’t have much to say to each other it… But it was the closure that I needed,” she says. “I had been through a lot and I’m sure he had too. I was clean and sober, and I had me back. I had my strength back.”
Pendergrass died in 2010 of colon cancer.
“Oprah: Where Are They Now?” airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.
Jamaica: Gay men and lesbians living in a constant state of fear
A comprehensive report by Human Rights Watch details how Jamaica’s LGBT community faces widespread discrimination and violence
davidh
www.gaystarnews.com/article/jamaica-gay-men-and-lesbians-living-constant-state-fear221014
Gay People, Pope Francis Will Win By Losing Catholic Church Battle For LGBT Inclusion – VIDEO
Writing for the Washington Post, Jonathan Capehart has argued that although conservative bishops may have won a battle last week when they voted against language that spoke of “welcoming homosexual persons” into the Catholic church, they have not won the bigger battle with Pope Francis.
Following protests from conservative bishops, the Vatican last week backtracked on reports that it had planned to be “welcoming to homosexual persons.”
However, according to Capehart, although headlines called it a “setback,” “the pope let the genie out of the bottle. And, as we all know, it’s difficult to put him back in once released.”
He continues:
“What the synod did at the outset on paper, Pope Francis has been doing since ascending to the papacy. He’s been talking about gays and lesbians in the Catholic Church with an unheard-of humanity and care.
“I found it interesting that Francis insisted not only on publicizing the vote tallies for each paragraph, but also which paragraphs failed to pass. The pope said he was doing it for transparency. And that’s great. The added benefit to such openness is the signal it sends the entire church. If the pope and the bishops can engage in a rational and respectful discussion about same-sex relationships, so can the rest of the flock. That’s the genie that is out of the bottle.
“As Francis said [on October 19th] during his homily, ‘God is not afraid of new things! That is why he is continually surprising us, opening our hearts and guiding us in unexpected ways.’ By the time the bishops reconvene next October to finalize the synod document, we might be looking at a very different outcome.
“I’m not saying the church or the pope will become a champion of LGBT rights. And I’m definitely not saying they are going to support marriage equality. What I am saying is that by talking about the humanity of gay and lesbian Catholics and worrying about their place in the church, Pope Francis is openly recognizing them as children of God. After centuries of demonization, that’s a revolutionary act that can’t be undone.”
Watch a CBS report on the failure of the synod to adopt pro-gay language, AFTER THE JUMP…
Jim Redmond
University of the Philippines – LGBT Stories
Op-ed: 22 Reasons Queer History Is Important
Here are just a few of the reasons we need LGBT history taught in our schools and remembered in our daily lives.
Sarah Prager
www.advocate.com/commentary/2014/10/22/op-ed-22-reasons-queer-history-important
Gay Jamaicans Victims Of Violence, Human Rights Watch's 'Not Safe At Home' Report Finds
KINGSTON, Jamaica (AP) — Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are the targets of unchecked violence and discrimination in Jamaica, frequently refused housing or employment in the Caribbean country typically described as the region’s most hostile to LGBT citizens, a leading human rights group says in a report released Tuesday.
In its 86-page report titled “Not Safe at Home,” Human Rights Watch noted that LGBT citizens in Jamaica are often driven from their communities by neighbors and sometimes even family. Some health professionals stigmatize them by casting judgment on their sexuality when they seek care. Police protection against bias and physical attacks is generally poor. LGBT people in Jamaica “face intolerable levels of violence and cannot rely on the police,” Graeme Reid, the organization’s LGBT rights director, said in a release. “The authorities from the prime minister on down need to call a halt to the violence and discrimination, prosecute anyone responsible, and get homophobic laws off the books.”
The New York-based rights group called on the Jamaican government to strike down the anti-sodomy law that criminalizes anal sex and another that prohibits “acts of gross indecency” between men. While prosecution is rare under Jamaica’s 1864 law making sexual intimacy between men a crime, the advocacy organization says it gives “social sanction to prejudice and helps to create a context in which hostility and violence is directed against LGBT people.”
The Human Rights Watch report was the result of five weeks of research conducted last year in Jamaica. It said it interviewed various people, including 71 LGBT citizens — 44 of whom reported being victims of “some form of violence based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.” Many LGBT people on the island “live in constant fear,” the rights group said.
Gay activists on the island have long called for the anti-sodomy law to be repealed and said they are still discussing the rights group’s assertions and recommendations. Jamaica’s information minister did not respond to an email seeking comment.
Dane Lewis, executive director of the advocacy group Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All-Sexuals & Gays, has said the Caribbean island of 2.7 million people is seeing an increase in “pockets of tolerance,” but homophobia remains culturally ingrained.
Human Rights Watch did note that there has been a “groundswell of change in Jamaica in the way it is responding to human rights abuses against LGBT people.” It praised Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller and other government leaders for constructive statements about LGBT rights.
But many people in the largely Christian country consider homosexuality to be sinful, and believe the gay rights lobby is a perversion from abroad. Even among those who tolerate homosexuality, some people think it should not be advertised and believe activists have exaggerated reports of violence.
A recent poll commissioned by the Jamaica Gleaner newspaper suggested that 91 percent of Jamaicans are opposed to repealing the anti-sodomy law. The survey of 1,208 Jamaicans had a margin of error of 3 percent.
Last year, a transgender teen named Dwayne Jones was killed by a mob at a crowded street dance outside Montego Bay and the slaying remains unsolved.
In late August, a young Jamaican gay rights activist who brought an unprecedented legal challenge to the Caribbean island’s anti-sodomy law withdrew his claim after growing fearful about possible violent reprisals. When the legal challenge was initiated last year, several pastors led crowded revival meetings in Jamaica’s two biggest cities to counter what they called a growing mainstream acceptance of homosexuality.
Jamaica is among numerous English-speaking Caribbean nations with anti-sodomy laws. Public health officials say the laws criminalizing gay sex have fueled the region’s HIV epidemic by making it hard to effectively reach men who have sex with men, a population that generally faces elevated levels of HIV infection.
____
David McFadden on Twitter: twitter.com/dmcfadd
‘Sup Bro: Eight Things Gay Men Need Straight Dudes To Know
The chasm that has divided homo and hetero men seems to be closing fast. Straight dudes are opening up about the subject of anal play, and gay/straight bromances — not to mention cross-sexuality cuddling — are becoming increasingly popular. Still, there’s work to be done.
One can never have too many friends. We’re totally happy to open up our social circles and welcome males of the opposite sexuality into our folds, provided we’re all on the same page.
Here are eight things we’d like our straight brethren to know before we take our relationships to the next level:
8. No, we don’t all want to sleep with you.
Do you want to bed every woman you lay eyes on? Probably not. The same goes for us. Just because you happen to have a penis doesn’t mean we’re the least bit interested in getting naked with you. While there are certainly some gay guys who see it as a challenge to seduce “straight” men, the vast majority of us prefer hooking up with our own kind, especially since straight men don’t always seem to understand the definition of hygiene. After all, why would we want to sleep with someone who doesn’t want to sleep with us?
7. And, no, we’re not checking out your ass.
So stop acting all suspicious. Your insecurity is very unbecoming. Honestly, we were just trying to read the designer label on your jeans.
6. OK, maybe we’re checking out your ass.
But, really, who cares? So long as it’s all look and no touch, what’s the big deal? You check out women’s asses all the time. Hell, you may have even checked out a few men’s asses in the past. (For comparison purposes only, of course!) The bottom line: We’re taking a brief moment to admire your donque. Be flattered. Then see #8 again.
5. Please don’t call us “bro.”
You may call us “man.” You can even call us “dude.” But please, for the love of Jesus, refrain from saying “‘Sup, bro” then offering us a fist bump. It’s just awkward.
4. Some of us enjoy watching sports.
As someone whose boyfriend is obsessed with football, I’m often dragged to sports bars whenever there’s a big game. Nine times out of 10, the moment we first step in through the door, we’re met with sideways glances from other bar patrons who seem confused as to what the hell a gay couple is doing there. We’re there for the same reason you are: To drink cheap beer and watch the game.
3. It’s OK if you like “gay” things.
We see you tapping your foot under the table to that Madonna song we selected on the jukebox. It’s OK if you want to get up and groove to the music. We won’t judge you. We know Madonna’s tunes are totally infectious. We discovered her, after all. And we’re more than happy to share our queen with you.
2. Nobody will think you’re gay if you talk to us.
And if they do, who cares?
1. Sure! We’d love to grab a beer some time.
On a strictly plutonic basis, of course.
Related stories:
10 Totally Obnoxious Things You Have To Be Gay To Fully Understand
Why Straight Girls Who Hang Out In Gay Bars Can Be A Big Problem
Don’t Be That Gay: The 10 Most Obnoxious Types Of Homosexual Men
Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter.
Graham Gremore
You must be 18 years old or older to chat
