Gay Muslims Come Out In Toronto Photo Exhibit, 'Just Me And Allah'
(RNS) Many Muslims leave Islam when they find their sexuality and faith incompatible. But a new photo exhibit of gay and queer Muslims challenges that notion.

The exhibit, which opens June 18 at the Toronto Public Library, captures the humanity of subjects with close-up, intimate images. It’s the latest example of LGBT Muslims in North America reclaiming their faith and rejecting the expectation that they keep their sexuality secret.

“Muslims around the world are saying, ‘You know what? My relationship with Islam doesn’t have to be guilt-ridden,’” said Toronto native Samra Habib, the photographer behind “Just Me and Allah.”

“In most Muslim communities, most LGBT people are not open, and that’s living without dignity,” said El-Farouk Khaki, a Toronto immigration lawyer and one of the subjects in the photos. “Breaking the invisibility is important.”

Habib, who identifies as queer rather than gay, said she got the idea to take photos of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Muslims a few years ago after learning there were others like her who were seeking affirmation.

“I found comfort in learning that it’s a conversation that many queer Muslims around the world were having and thought this project might help mobilize the queer Muslim community,” said Habib, who is also a digital editor and producer, and originally posted the photos on the social media site Tumblr.

In one photo, a young man with a slight goatee stares out from underneath a sweatshirt hood, while in another, a short-haired woman in a suit smiles casually but confidently.

Habib’s Tumblr page also includes short video interviews with a few of her subjects.

“We have always been here, it’s just that the world wasn’t ready for us yet,” says one of the subjects, Dali, in one video interview.

Khaki said he took part in the project less because he hoped to raise tolerance among Muslims and more to show young people they can be gay and Muslim.

“This is for queer Muslim kids who need to know there are other Muslims just like them,” Khaki said.

Khaki and Habib credit social media with aiding gay Muslims. Facebook and Twitter have helped gay Muslims meet one another in ways that weren’t possible 10 or 20 years ago. “We were all isolated,” said Khaki. “We didn’t have validation. But we do now.”

Several prominent Muslim-American leaders have said that while they believe homosexual acts are sins, they also believe Muslim communities should not ostracize gays.

While the urge for same-sex sexual relations should be resisted, said Sheikh Yasir Qadhi, a well-known American imam who blogs at MuslimMatters.com, in a 2013 interview on YouTube, “being a homosexual does not disqualify you from being a Muslim.”

But in an America where many of the Muslims are immigrants from countries where homosexuality is stigmatized or even criminalized, that message isn’t always accepted.

Ani Zonneveld, president of Muslims for Progressive Values, a Los Angeles organization that advocates for gay rights, said the photo exhibit might improve relations between gay Muslims and other Muslims.

“Any image to personalize, humanize LGBTQ Muslims will help,” she said.

Imam Talal Eid, a former member of the U.S. Commission for International Religious Freedom, and chaplain at Brandeis University in Waltham, Mass., added: “God created them. God gave them freedom to choose this way. Who am I to tell someone what they should do?”

www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/14/gay-muslims-photo-exhibit_n_5493738.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

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Restaurant manager says he fired server for writing slur on check

A bartender at Bistro 18 wrote the words ‘GAY BITCHES’ on the check of a transgender customer and eight friends last summer. (Photo courtesy of Lambda Legal)

The manager of an Adams Morgan restaurant whose bartender wrote the words “GAY BITCHES” on the check for a transgender customer and eight friends who were with her said he immediately fired the bartender for writing the slur and apologized, according to gay blogger Bil Browning of the Bilerico Project.

The New York-based LGBT litigation group Lambda Legal announced in a press release on Tuesday, June 10, that it filed a discrimination complaint against Bistro 18 restaurant and hookah bar at 2420 18th St., N.W., over the slur and other alleged discriminatory actions by the restaurant before the D.C. Office of Human Rights.

Lambda said it filed the complaint on behalf of Amira Gray, a transgender woman who was sitting with eight friends, two of whom are gay men, when a female bartender who’s not identified in the complaint delivered the check to their table.

The issue of whether the bartender printed the slur on the check is not in dispute.

But in a development not common in LGBT discrimination cases, at least two prominent gay activists — Deacon Maccubbin, founder and owner of D.C.’s now closed Lambda Rising bookstore and Rick Rosendall, president of the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance — are siding with the accused party. Both say Bistro 18 shouldn’t be held responsible for a single employee’s action and that the restaurant has taken all necessary steps to remedy the situation.

The incident took place in August 2013, the complaint states. A Lambda Legal official told the Blade that Gray chose to come forward to file the complaint this week after considerable reflection, deciding that she and her friends were wronged, even though the manager cancelled the bill that came to $152.30.

Lambda Legal’s announcement of the filing of the complaint, which is posted on its Facebook page, triggered a flurry of social media postings highly critical of Bistro 18. Some of the postings called for a boycott of the restaurant.

Browning, editor and publisher of the Bilerico Project blog, triggered a separate flurry of postings by some LGBT activists and others condemning Lambda Legal for publicizing an allegation implying that Bistro 18 was a homophobic or anti-trans establishment that condones discrimination.

The Blade could not reach a representative of Bistro 18 for comment through repeated phone calls and through a visit to the bar Thursday night. The Washington Post and Washington City Paper reported their attempts to reach a representative of the restaurant were also unsuccessful.

According to Browning, Mohammad Elhoda, Bistro 18’s manager, told him his restaurant welcomes LGBT customers, gay employees currently work at the establishment, the restaurant has hosted LGBT events, and it has a strict policy of non-discrimination covering everyone, including LGBT people.

Gray states in her complaint that in addition to the anti-LGBT slur on the check, which she kept and turned over to Lambda Legal, her party was being denied service at the table in which they were seated. She walked to the bar and ordered drinks for her friends, which she brought to her table, the complaint states. No server came to the table except one who delivered the hookah smoking pipe while people seated at nearby tables were being waited on regularly by servers, the complaint says.

Browning reports that Elhoda said service at the restaurant was slow on the night Gray and her friends were there and he intervened to help his staff, providing Gray’s party with at least one round of free drinks to make up for the delays. At least some of the people in Gray’s party returned to the restaurant in the following weeks and appeared to be enjoying themselves, Browning reports Elhoda as saying.

Elhoda also claims that some of the people in Gray’s party yelled insults at the bartender and threatened her after the check with the slur was delivered to their table, prompting the restaurant’s security staff to intervene, Browning reports.

Browning, who appears to be the only media representative with whom Elhoda has spoken so far, wrote in his blog that Lambda should have investigated the allegation of discrimination further before publicizing it on Facebook.

“With LGBT activists and netizens constantly ready to retaliate against any perceived slight and conservative Christians regularly claiming that many businesses are unfairly attacked by activists, what responsibility does Lambda Legal have to ensure that they aren’t damaging a business’ reputation without reason?” Browning wrote. “Should they be held responsible for any harm they cause the establishment – particularly if the bar is found innocent by the city’s human rights commission?”

In a follow-up statement posted on its website, Lambda Legal questioned the accuracy of Elhoda’s version of what happened.

“The statements of the restaurant’s manager, as recounted in the blog as if they were accurate, however, are in sharp contrast to what our client and her friends experienced,” the Lambda statement says.

“Lambda Legal doesn’t make decisions lightly about how to proceed, and gathered confirmation of the allegations in the OHR complaint before it was filed,” the statement says. “Not only do we have the receipt clearly showing the anti-gay slur, but multiple members of a large group of friends who were with Amira at Bistro 18 have corroborated what actually happened that night.”

Maccubbin, who notes that he helped lobby for passage of the city’s Human Rights Act in the 1970s, said in a comment posted with the Blade that Bistro 18 was getting a “raw deal” by Lambda Legal.

“There is no history of discriminatory actions on the part of this business, its management or employees, other than this one incident by this one former employee,” he said. “The business responded appropriately and should not be castigated, by Lambda Legal or anyone else.”

Maccubbin added, “It’s fine for Lambda Legal to represent the complainant, but they should do so within the parameters of the complaint process, not by fomenting unjust and defamatory vigilantism in social media.”

In her complaint Gray said, “As a transgender woman, I was extremely hurt, embarrassed and upset. I felt that the slur was meant as a slap in the face because of my gender identity and expression, my perceived sexual orientation, my personal appearance, and my association with my friends who are or may have been perceived as being lesbian or gay.”

Lou Chibbaro Jr.

Restaurant manager says he fired server for writing slur on check

Judge halts same-sex marriages in Wisconsin

A federal court has stayed same-sex marriages taking place in Wisconsin (Photo by Bigstock).

A federal judge has agreed to halt same-sex marriages taking place in Wisconsin in the same order in which she spells out the injunction for an earlier ruling against the state’s marriage law.

In a 14-page order handed down on Friday, U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb issued the stay pending appeal in response to an emergency request to halt the weddings by Wisconsin Attorney J.B. Van Hollen.

“IT IS ORDERED that defendants’ motion to stay all relief in this case…is GRANTED,” Crabb writes. “The injunction and the declaration shall take effect after the conclusion of any appeals or after the expiration of the deadline for filing an appeal, whichever is later.”

Last week, Crabb ruled the 2006 ban on same-sex marriage in Wisconsin violated the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. However, she included neither an injunction, nor a stay as part of her decision.

Even without an injunction, as many as 15 counties began granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples, much to the chagrin of Van Hollen, who insisted the ban was still in effect.

In a statement, Van Hollen crowed over the judge’s decision to halt any further same-sex marriage from taking place within the state.

“I am very pleased that Judge Crabb has followed the lead of courts across the country, including the United States Supreme Court, and fully stayed her ruling,” Van Hollen said. “By staying this ruling, she has confirmed that Wisconsin’s law regarding same-sex marriage remains in full force and effect.”

On Monday, Crabb rebuffed an earlier request for a stay, saying she would decide the issue after all parties in the case submitted proposed injunctions in the aftermath of the ruling.

Van Hollen has appealed the case to the U.S. Seventh Circuit of Appeals, which is now one of six federal appeals courts considering the issue of marriage equality.

Now that the stay is in effect, a situation is created in Wisconsin along the lines of what happened in Utah and Michigan, where questions linger about whether the same-sex marriages in the state will be recognized by the states and the federal government. In both cases, state officials determined they wouldn’t grant benefits same-sex couples married in those states, although U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder determined they would be valid in the eyes of the federal government.

Chris Johnson

Judge halts same-sex marriages in Wisconsin