Prominent Church of England Activist Comes Out as Lesbian

Jayne Ozanne says she tried to reconcile her faith and sexuality for years, a process that saw her go through ‘conversion therapy’ and contemplate suicide.

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Trudy Ring

www.advocate.com/politics/religion/2015/02/04/prominent-church-england-activist-comes-out-lesbian

Coming Out: I Am a Man

Dear you,

I’ve always been scared of the word “man”; today I take that word and own it!

I guess I should start with the fact that I’m an anomaly and have never really fit into any one category or group. It’s something that I’ve learned to enjoy, as I’m able to comfortably fuse into many different situations. However, never completely belonging and being somewhat of an outsider can be taxing. I’ve always felt the need to explain myself, to have others understand me. I’ve lived under that pressure for a long time, and I pride myself on not letting it determine who I am.

With that said, I want to tell you something. It’s something many of you know, and something the people closest and dearest to me have known for a long time.

I’m gay.

Just writing it sends a rush of adrenaline through my body. That last bit of the metaphorical chip on my shoulder disintegrates, and a lightness has washed over me. I’m free.

This minute detail in the complexity of who I am ultimately means nothing to me, but so much at the same time.

As far back as I can remember, this trivial fraction of who I am has haunted me. I was in fact gay but didn’t know it for myself yet. Sure, looking back at life, I see how the fact that I loved Barbie, my best friends were girls and I was sensitive could all be “telltale signs.” But why? Why did you care what I liked or who I played with? Why did you care that I was sensitive? Why did you care that I was gay?

I think what’s so hard for me is that I probably would’ve come out much sooner, but being labeled “the gay kid” when you in fact do not identify with who that person is supposed to be is so hard on one’s psyche. You fight so hard against something that you don’t have a problem with but just don’t connect with that it becomes a constant struggle. Had all the people I had pushing this on me just let me be me, I would’ve been able to figure out things so much more quickly, and without a sense of fear, pressure and hardness.

I know that this is something many people, gay or straight, deal with, to some extent, but the amount of focus I was subjected to on a daily basis from my “peers” was so daunting and constant that I felt as if I were constantly under a magnifying glass. Those “peers” were really just bullies unable to figure themselves out, too cowardly to focus on their own issues. So they turned their attention on me, a happy kid and an easy target.

And it wasn’t just kids. Parents, teachers, and strangers all projected their issues onto me. I was happy just being me, even though I didn’t know exactly who I was (I still don’t), because I learned valuable life lessons so early on.

At the age of 6, I watched my mother, my hero, fight for her life with an illness that I still don’t entirely understand. Watching her struggle was truly life-altering. When you see someone you love slowly die, you realize how precious time really is. My mom is my reminder to not live a life that just goes through the motions. Instead, I’m committed to living a life that is full, whole, happy and loving. Luckily, I can say I still have my mom 20 years later. It hasn’t been without ups and downs, but she is still here and still fighting.

I share this story because it truly was a moment that helped solidify my foundation as a person. It’s the oldest, most vivid memory I have and directly contributes to my hopes, fears, dreams, ambitions and neuroses. I like to think that I’ve been very in touch with my own emotions and feelings, and that I’ve used this event as a way to understand myself and adjust to the world. I understand it, I process it, and I use it to move forward rather than feeling victimized.

I want to explain how deciding to write this open coming-out letter isn’t to serve my own purposes but to serve the purposes of the person who happens to read this and understands what life is like for himself, herself, or that kid they don’t get. It is not about being comfortable around others. It’s about being comfortable with yourself, which only gets harder the more people try to tell you who you are.

I’ve come out to many different people, and I’ve always gone into the situation knowing that in the end I would be supported. In fact, they’d probably love me even more because they’d finally get to see my true self. I knew that the people I chose to have in my life were, to put it simply, good people. They were and are those who have loved me for me, who let me be me, and who always saw nothing but Barrett. I know that, unlike so many, I’m blessed and lucky, because this is not the case for so many people who may encounter different reactions. For that I thank my friends and family for being the amazing angels they are.

It’s easy to finally say all this because I’ve had the chance to live in New York City, where being an individual is praised. I’ve also lived in Los Angeles, where I had time to leave all that I knew behind and focus on finding out who I really was. I’ve given myself multiple explorations, adventures and experiences to help round out my life. Each step of the way has been scary and different and sparked something new in me, and each has been important. I’ve tried to appreciate every moment as best as I can, understanding that I will never be in this specific place in my life again.

I’ve learned that I don’t fit in, and that I never will. I’ve learned that it’s the best thing in the world to stand out in a crowd, to be that light in darkness. I’ve also learned that you will never be able to please everyone, so if you can be happy with yourself, then let that light shine as bright as that fiery mass in the sky.

I’ve also learned what I think so many gay people have a hard time understanding in the beginning: that there’s not just one definition of what it means to be gay. People feel the need to label everything with a specific category. What I’ve found is that there will always be many intricate facets to me as a unique being.

Times are changing, and gays are popping up everywhere. Things like the TV show Looking, the marriages performed at the Grammys, and the daily celebrity coming-out story all exemplify how being gay is becoming just another “normal” in our abnormal world. However, there is still so much progress to be made, and so many obstacles to overcome in terms of finding true equality. Sometimes it’s hard to fathom, as I’ve been lucky enough to live in liberal cities for almost 10 years, but homophobia is still very real for so many. “Gay” still equates to “bad” or “wrong” in so many places here and abroad, and we have to work to fix that.

Being gay is an ever-confusing concept not just for straight people but for gays as well. I think that so many of us suffer from daddy issues, mommy issues, both or none. I definitely have both. We are in the same constant search for love as everyone else. We confuse sex with love, love with sex. We are looking to fill an empty void in us, sometimes more so because, for so long, we couldn’t figure out why people looked at us differently. We use hook-up apps to fulfill basic needs and then call ourselves sluts. We use dating apps to try to fill deeper needs and then are left feeling like there’s no one out there for us. We go on first dates, which sometimes lead to a second dates, other times to nothing at all. We go to bars to see and be seen. We hang out with our friends to remind ourselves that we have people we love who balance us out. “We,” in the end, are just living day-to-day, like everyone else. Of course, there are differences, but in general there are far fewer between straight people and LGBT people than most would believe.

I’ve met many people recently who’ve asked me to promise that I’ll never change. Never become jaded to the world around me. Never lose my desire to find love, my ability to be open and honest, and my pursuit to be as true to myself as possible. I promise.

To the person who reads this and goes, “I’ve heard all this before,” I say, “Great!” By no means do I think I’m saying something that hasn’t been said before. I’m simply sharing my story, my thoughts, my struggles. The slogan “It gets better” is beyond true. I joke that coming out was the best thing I ever did for my personal and professional life, but to be honest, it’s true. There’s an amazing network of LGBT people who will be waiting for you with open arms when you’re ready. Not only does it get better; it gets fucking amazing.

Since accepting myself and coming out, I’ve met some of the most amazing people, experienced real love, and seen the world with a new sense of both beauty and darkness. Some things affect me more, while others affect me less. Throughout this process I’ve left Barrett the boy and have become Barrett the man. A man who released the shame he felt for wanting to love another man. A man who addressed issues that were holding him back. A man who has started to live authentically. A real man.

This is who I am now. Free and happy. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

All my love,
Barrett

Keep up with Barrett on his personal blog, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Google+.

www.huffingtonpost.com/barrett-pall/coming-out-i-am-a-man_b_6605956.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

NEWS: Jack Falahee, Bruce Jenner, Ark Museum, FOX News

Sean Mandell

www.towleroad.com/2015/02/news-2.html

Michigan Gov. Relents, Agrees to Recognize 300 Same-Sex Marriages

But the state will continue to defend its ban on such unions at the Supreme Court this spring.

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Sunnivie Brydum

www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/2015/02/04/michigan-gov-relents-agrees-recognize-300-same-sex-marriages

Mary Cheney: What A Drag!
Every so often, a member of the Cheney family has to publicly utter something patently off-the-mark, lest we all forget what truly awful people they are. This time, it was Mary Cheney’s turn at bat and, in true-to-her-family form, she pretty much knocked it out of the ballpark of asininity.

Mary Cheney is an out lesbian who all too frequently turns her back on the LGBT community. When her father, then Vice President Dick Cheney, and President George W. Bush were running for re-election in 2004, they received Mary’s full support and silence despite the fact that Bush’s platform included a proposed amendment to the United States Constitution that would have federally limited marriage to heterosexual couples and also would have banned civil unions and domestic partnership benefits. Ms. Cheney even went so far as to subsequently appear onstage with her partner, Heather Poe, during Bush’s victory speech. Luckily for Cheney, Bush’s Federal Marriage Amendment failed to be enacted, and she was able to legally marry Poe in 2012. Not surprisingly, however, during that same year’s presidential election, Ms. Cheney donated $2,500 to then Republican presumptive nominee Mitt Romney, who had signed NOM’s pledge to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act and, once again, support a Federal Marriage Amendment to restrict same-sex couples from marrying.

More recently, after seeing an ad for the upcoming season of Logo TV’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, Mary took to her Facebook page to post the following message:

Why is it socially acceptable – as a form of entertainment – for men to put on dresses, make up and high heels and act out every offensive stereotype of women (bitchy, catty, dumb, slutty, etc.) – but it is not socially acceptable – as a form of entertainment – for a white person to put on blackface and act out offensive stereotypes of African Americans? Shouldn’t both be ok or neither? Why does society treat these activities differently?

Much like her father, Mary Cheney seems to suffer from an acute case of historical amnesia. During the time that blackface was a popular form of entertainment, while white performers with their faces blackened played the roles of ignorant, lazy, obliviously joyous blacks, the Jim Crow Laws, named after a popular blackface character, were enacted and enforced. This set of laws segregated and demeaned African-Americans primarily from the 1870s to the 1960s. Concurrently, the practice of killing people by extrajudicial mob action, also known as “lynching,” reached its peak during this period of time, with African-American men in the Southern U.S. being the most frequent targets. Blackface is, at its core, blatantly racist, offensive and, yes, socially and morally unacceptable. On the other hand, to the best of my knowledge, there is not one drag queen on the planet advocating for legal discrimination against, nor the lynching of, women. The art of drag is more a celebration of femininity, wherein performers attempt to obliterate all traces of male social hierarchy and act as strong, talented women. Granted, sometimes it’s a little over-the-top but there is very little, if any, maliciousness involved. I’m not sure why Ms. Cheney would take exception to any celebration of femininity, but I have my theories. Perhaps a visit to RuPaul’s Drag U would be helpful. I’ll leave it at that.

To be fair, it must be tough to be Mary Cheney. She desperately wants to be a conservative icon and has spent countless hours and dollars pandering to the same political party that wants absolutely nothing to do with her. As a result, she has also succeeded in alienating the majority of the LGBT community who would have readily embraced her had she only been true to herself. Cheney really is her own worst enemy. To quote the eternally fabulous RuPaul, perhaps it is time for Mary Cheney to “sashay away!”

www.huffingtonpost.com/walt-hawkins/mary-cheney-what-a-drag_b_6611446.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

The Psychology Of Breaking Up: Why Saying “Goodbye” Can Be The Greatest Act Of Love

In the last installment of his four-part relationship series, therapist Matthew Dempsey covers the uncomfortable, painful, often visceral ending to so many of our sincere adventures in love — the breakup.

Why do we break up? What does it mean? Will I be alone forever or what?!

As Matthew puts it, “It’s really easy for us to mistake comfort with compatibility, and any time that there’s any kind of conflict, it’s like ‘Whoa, maybe this is a red flag, maybe we’re not actually meant to be together.’” But those are opportunities to work — work on ourselves, on our communication, and on keeping sight of what’s important.

It’s those other times, when our essential needs aren’t being met, that a breakup might be on the horizon.

But fear not! You aren’t a failure at love, you’re just an evolving creature with ever-changing needs. And as Matthew aptly puts it, relationships involve putting egos aside and staying attune to each other. Sometimes, that means calling it quits and reviving that Tinder account.

Here’s Matthew explaining it much better that we can: 

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/cC9KTEZrtnc/the-psychology-of-breaking-up-why-saying-goodbye-can-be-the-greatest-act-of-love-20150204

Michigan Governor: State Will Recognize 300+ Same-Sex Marriages That Took Place in March

Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2015/02/michigan-governor-state-will-recognize-300-same-sex-marriages-that-took-place-in-march.html

Rick Snyder: Michigan To Recognize 300 Gay Marriages From 2014
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder (R) announced Wednesday that the state will recognize some 300 same-sex marriages conducted in 2014.

The governor faced a deadline Wednesday to either appeal a recent ruling by U.S. District Judge Mark A. Goldsmith, or let stand the judge’s injunction requiring Michigan to recognize the several hundred gay marriages conducted on March 22, 2014, when the state’s ban on gay marriage was temporarily lifted. Snyder had 21 days to appeal Goldsmith’s ruling.

“The judge has determined that same-sex couples were legally married on that day, and we will follow the law and extend state marriage benefits to those couples,” Snyder said in a statement, according to the AP.

Michigan is one of four states whose gay marriage bans were upheld by a 2-1 decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit. The U.S. Supreme Court decided in January to take up the decision. The court’s ruling, expected by June, could end the debate on gay marriage in the United States once and for all.

Snyder called on his fellow Republicans in January to keep up efforts to end discrimination against LGBT individuals by amending the state’s Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act, which protects citizens against discrimination based on race, age, sex and religion, but doesn’t protect against discrimination based on sexual orientation.

“Let’s keep up that dialogue and let’s show that we can deal with issues of discrimination in our state,” he said during his fifth State of the State address.

However, that same month, Snyder remained silent as the state’s attorney general argued for Michigan’s gay marriage ban. The governor’s own position on gay marriage has been described as “head-spinning.”

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/04/gay-marriage-michigan_n_6615410.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices