Op-ed: A Gay Man’s Voice in the Eating Disorder Conversation

Eating disorders are prevalent among gay, bisexual, and transgender men, but it isn’t always easy to find help.

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Joseph Holtom

www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/02/10/op-ed-gay-man-s-voice-eating-disorder-conversation

Gay in Alabama
I live in a decent-sized town in eastern-central Alabama and have lived here for the majority of my life. I’m also openly gay. My sexuality and geographic location shouldn’t impact each other, but they do; that’s just how it is when you live in the South.

I came out during my sophomore year of high school, after years of internal conflict and external bullying and harassment. I’ve been bullied since kindergarten, and specifically about sexuality since elementary school. I had people calling me gay before any of us were old enough to even know what being gay is. Coming out was at first a major relief from this pressure and pain; I was very well received by my friends and loved ones, and things were looking up. But I’d seen scary things on TV and online: keyed cars, defaced lockers, physical assaults. There was a very real fear in living somewhere where the majority of people thought you were going to hell for something you couldn’t control.

A photo posted by Ian Oriol (@ianoriol) on Sep 11, 2014 at 9:54am PDT

For a while after I came out, everything was OK. The bullies couldn’t call me gay as an insult, because I was gay, and I was finally opening up. This opening up is what proved to be problematic at times. I began dating my first boyfriend, who ended up being unable to endure being called names and bullied because he was dating me, ending our relationship and crippling me emotionally. I also went to school in drag as Lady Gaga for my school’s celebrity day, much to the ridicule of many boys (and the envy of many girls, since I could walk in four-inch heels). I discovered that the moment I stopped acting straight is when people began getting uncomfortable. Once I stopped acting the way they wanted, they stopped treating me the way I wanted.

I certainly didn’t act straight just to please people. That’s the opposite of what should be done in any event. I shouldn’t have to hide who I am just because of where I am, and it pains me that people, like my ex-boyfriend and many others, have to hide from their loved ones, friends, and everybody that they know just for their own safety and well-being. LGBT teens have one of the highest homeless rates, and it terrifies me. This isn’t just Alabama either; this stretches throughout the South and even beyond. Even though marriage equality is so close that I can taste it, I can still be fired in my home state for my sexuality, and I’m sure that I could find plenty of companies that want none of my business.

I believe that there is hope, though: Recently Alabama’s gay-marriage ban was struck down, Auburn grad Tim Cook is out and has spoken about wanting to see a more accepting Alabama, and HRC has launched a special Alabama division to help improve the very things I worry about. I have a shred of faith that Alabama can someday be on the right side of things, and that I can be proud to call it my home. Don’t disappoint me, Alabama.

(Old photo) I am so so happy that Alabama has struck down its gay marriage ban and everybody can love in my home state. It’s a beautiful day in Sweet Home Alabama.

A photo posted by Ian Oriol (@ianoriol) on Jan 23, 2015 at 3:51pm PST

www.huffingtonpost.com/ian-oriol/gay-in-alabama_b_6633952.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

NEW MUSIC: Swedish Gothic Post Punk, Goodly Thousands, The Assist, Public Service Broadcasting, Seafret

Jim Redmond

www.towleroad.com/2015/02/new-music-swedish-gothic-post-punk-goodly-thousands-the-assist-public-service-broadcasting-seafret.html

Degen and Eric: From Snowbirds to Lovebirds

Magazine editor Degen Pener (right) and tech executive Eric Bushard met at a gay ski party, fell in love in L.A., and just got engaged in London.

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Aaron Drake

www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/wedding-channel/2015/02/10/degen-and-eric-snowbirds-lovebirds

Ten Reasons Why We Would Want Aaron Schock To Come Out–Or Maybe Not Come Out

Aaron Schock had a no-good, terrible, very bad week last week. Of course, for Schock, any week where he is in the news is generally unwelcome because it raises all those pesky questions about, well, you know.

The whole week was a reminder why it would be great if Schock came out (assuming he’s gay, and you can calculate the odds of that assumption). The week was also a reminder of why it would be awful if Schock actually came out. Here are ten reasons why we would love to see Schock came out–and why we would hate it if he did.

In favor of Schock coming out:

His Downton Abbey-inspired office. Okay, it may be a bit over the top, but by Congressional standards it’s pretty fabulous. Plus, we could use someone who was willing to bring Downton Abbey into current political discourse.

Quoting Taylor Swift as a media response. Of all the possible ripostes to come up with when his office became newsworthy, Schock went for the gayest one possible: quoting Taylor Swift. Imagine the explanations a theortetically out Schock could use as he cycles through boyfriends. He might as well just hire Taylor as his new press secretary.

The Instagram account. Yes, the one with Schock surfing, weight lifting doing the ALS ice bucket challenge, and performing a combat swimming exercise with West Point cadets. Schock shut it down after the outing controversy a year ago (when he was following Tom Daley, or at least his account was), but it is back with a shirtless vengeance. It’s a little like Grindr, with training wheels. There’s also a photo of Schock with Apple CEO Tim Cook, who could provide a few tips about coming out.

His personal photographer. How this for fantasy fulfillment: hiring your own photographer–a former wedding photographer, at that–to follow you around and snap you being wonderful. Jonathon (yes, Jonathon) Link now gets paid to follow Schock around and take pictures of the Congressman walking hand-in-hand with himself down the political aisle.

An out gay Republican. Schock is considered one of the bright lights in the dim universe of the GOP. Having him come out would be an important step forward for the party, which really needs to get used to LGBT issues for its own sake and everyone else’s. The last out gay Republican in Congress was Jim Kolbe, who left office eight years ago. It’s about time there would be another.

On the other hand:

He hires racist jerks. Schock’s aide Benjamin Cole panicked when a Washington Post reporter snapped shots of the office. That put Cole in the spotlight, which was a bad career move. It turns out Cole liked to post racist comments on Facebook, suggesting that African-Americans in his neighborhood had escaped from the National Zoo. Cole was also featured in a film about the efforts of Southern Baptists to convert Jews, telling the camera that homosexuality is “an abomination.” Except when it’s signing your paycheck, which it won’t be any longer, now that Cole has resigned.

Not exactly Mr. Ethics. Schock has a slew of ethical problems on his hands now. One is whether he inappropriately got his office designed for free. Another involves the sale of his home to a donor at a huge profit. Then there’s his tendency to charter private planes at taxpayer expense. Remember Mark Foley? The Florida Republican had to leave Congress after his history of hitting on male pages came to light. Schock’s scandal may not be sexual, but do we really want to claim someone with a touch of sleaze about him?

The Chevy Tahoe. If you’re going to spend $74,000 on a car, would you spend it on a Chevy Tahoe? Schock did. No disrespect to the hard workers at GM, but it’s not exactly an A-gay vehicle.

The Instagram account. It’s not just shirtless pics. It’s also photos of Schock with George W. Bush (“a great man”) and Donald Trump. If you’re known by the company you keep, Schock can keep to himself.

An out gay Republican. Schock could move the GOP forward on LGBT issues. He could also provide the party much needed cover for antigay stands. He has a perfect voting record on gay issues in Congress–perfectly antigay, that is. It may be expecting too much for Schock to start standing up for his people after so many years of making sure they were kept in their place.

Photo credit: Aaron Schock’s Instagram account

JohnGallagher

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WATCH: 5 Artists You Need to Hear Right Now

These spoken-word artists are serving up unapologetic realness about being a trans or queer person of color in America. Sit back, listen up, and prepare to be blown away.

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Sunnivie Brydum

www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/2015/02/10/watch-5-artists-you-need-hear-right-now

PHOTOS: 11 Important Life Lessons From Men’s Fashion Weeks

Now that the mens of the Men’s Fashion Weeks about the globe have strutted back into their stables — and with New York Fashion week heating up this week — let’s take a look at what we learned from this annual man mannequin parades.

JW Anderson

There’s a time and place for subtlety. This isn’t it.

Burberry
Fringe benefits.

Givenchy
Makeup: it’s not just for ladies anymore. But don’t go overboard, this isn’t a Real Housewives publicity shoot.

Moncler Gamme Bleu
Stand out from the pack or you’ll get lost in the clone war shuffle.

Calvin Klein
Recycling is good for the environment, and OK for pants.

Givenchy
If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.

Burberry
Take a catwalk on the wild side.

Dolce & Gabbana
There’s a thin line between “eccentric billionaire” and “crazy homeless person.” And that line is silk.

Gucci
Treat yourself. Why not take a trip to the dandy store and satiate that sartorial sweet tooth.

Armani
Swagger is sexy, even when you’re giving off (more than) a little Joan Collins vibe.

Rick Owens
Finally, when in doubt — just hang out with your wang out. Public indecency be damned, this is fashion.

Related stories:

PHOTOS: Vintage Fashion Ads From The 1980s

Meet The Adorable Boyfriend Duo That Dresses CFDA Icon Of The Year Rihanna

Conchita Wurst Brings Fashion Icon Jean Paul Gaultier To His Knees

Les Fabian Brathwaite is voguing through this Wintour of our discontent. 

Les Fabian Brathwaite

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