German Couple Talks About Life Together And Being Gay In Germany
Note: This article was written in cooperation with gaystream.info – the gay online portal for news, discussions and lifestyle articles. It was published on HuffPost Germany and translated into English.

Georg and Dietmar, partners for 44 years

For almost half a century, Georg and Dietmar have been a happy couple. But Georg knows that other gay people their age weren’t so lucky and that lives were destroyed by laws and by being ostracized by society. This is why he has committed himself to fighting for justice, with a mix of youthful energy and old-age wisdom.

65-year-old Georg smiles at me with young eyes, as I talk to him about his long-term relationship with Dietmar and ask him to give our readers some advice for a successful partnership. He feels he isn’t able to do so “since every relationship is very different and everybody has to figure out for themselves what works. You know, sometimes we ourselves are still blown away by the fact that we’ve been together for almost 44 years, and especially by how time has flown.”

He’s also happy to share that they’ve been in an open relationship for a few years now, which has been very fulfilling for both of them. However, that’s not what defines the relationship: “Our loving relationship goes way beyond sexuality,” Georg states, and Dietmar agrees.

The one vital thing is that they have so much in common after all these years. Their shared memories and experiences are continually deepening.

Finding each other in 1971

Georg in the 1970s

In the fall of 1971, Georg moved from Bavaria to Berlin for his job. In Munich, he’d had a two-year relationship with an older, high-profile man, which ended very unhappily for Georg.

“After that experience, I certainly didn’t feel like getting into another relationship too soon. But then, three days after arriving in Berlin, I met Dietmar at my job. In November, we got to know each other better, and we’ve been together since.”

When he was asked a year later if he was going to stay in Berlin, Georg replied that he didn’t like the city, but that he had found the man of his dreams in Dietmar and wanted to stay together with him forever –- and that was only going to work in Berlin.

At this point, things seemed like they were going a little too implausibly smoothly, and I inquire again about whether they’ve faced serious relationship crises.

“There haven’t been any problems in our relationship, and not with our two families either, other than the ordinary little frictions that are simply human,” says Georg.

However, outside of the happy relationship, the societal framework then was very different than it is now. This was a large part of the reason I wanted to meet Georg, and learn more about what our gay parents and grandparents struggled with. I found out very quickly that there are several factors that continue to affect gay people to this day.

In court for spending the night at another gay man’s house

Georg had his first sexual experiences in 1968, at which time “unnatural fornication” was considered a serious punishable offense in accordance with Article 175 of the German Criminal Code. Georg, having been brought up in a liberal household, and feeling youthful and carefree, didn’t feel he was doing anything wrong. He wasn’t too concerned with that law, and the atmosphere among Munich’s students was just as liberal.

“I was studying in Munich, and I remember that some of my colleagues considered the fact that I was attracted to men as something special and even elite. I even had to take some of them to so-called ‘homo bars,’ which were then mainly atrocious places full of plush furniture.”

Georg’s carelessness came to an end in the spring of 1969. An acquaintance informed him that criminal investigations against him had been initiated because of his offense against Article 175 of the Criminal Code, and that he would have to testify shortly.

He had spent two weeks at a friend’s in Donauwörth, in Bavaria.

“The fact that two young men were staying together in one apartment, and that one of the men, my friend, looked very different and flamboyant, was enough for someone to denounce us. That was how society still felt, even as the article was close to being repealed.”

The investigations were stopped, since Georg truthfully testified that he had only temporarily stayed in the apartment and that there had been no sexual contact. However, he still remembers “with the utmost reluctance” how much the investigations violated his privacy.

Article 175: The injustice of the Nazi era continued beyond 1945

Georg’s own experience inspired him to take a closer look at the history of Article 175, and he still likes to remind people that not everyone was lucky enough to “be born late enough.”

About 100,000 investigation proceedings and about 50,000 convictions under Article 175 are documented for the Federal Republic of Germany between 1945 and 1969, and about 1,300 convictions for the German Democratic Republic up to 1959. The National Socialist version of the article was retained in areas occupied by the West in 1945, and in the Federal Republic of Germany from 1949 on. The version that had been incorporated into the German Imperial Criminal Code in 1871, which stated that “unnatural fornication exercised between persons of the male sex is to be punished with a jail sentence,” was once again made harsher in the Nazi era.

From that time on, even an erotic glance could have you arrested. Between 1933 and 1945, tens of thousands of gay men were arrested and several thousand killed in concentration camps. After 1945, gay men were no longer able to understand their persecution as a part of radical Nazi policy. After being freed from the concentration camps, some men were arrested anew to serve out their “remaining sentence.” There are examples of gay men who had escaped the concentration camps, but many were detained again in the 1950s because they were in violation of Article 175. Only this time they weren’t incarcerated in a concentration camp, but in prison.

For gay men, there was no liberation after May 8, 1945; the persecution continued. Georg finds it important to emphasize that the Catholic Church had been very active in swaying the decision makers to retain the article of injustice.

Outraged about rehabilitation

Once Georg and I start talking about reparations, you notice how deeply this otherwise very calm man is affected by this topic. He has met too many men who suffered great injustice in the name of Article 175.

He states that, for at least 20 years, different groups have been demanding measures for the rehabilitation and compensation of men convicted between 1945 and 1969 due to Article 175.

“The claims were always denied, using the argument that the convictions were constitutional and did not present any injustice under the law at the time,” he says.

In 2002, the German Bundestag adopted a law repealing punishments under the Nazi regime, which included convictions under Article 175. Those few men that were still alive were able to apply for reparation payments. While this step was essential, Georg is still not fully satisfied.

“You have to understand that a man convicted before 1945 would be considered exempt from punishment, but if the conviction took place after 1945, he still has a criminal record,” he says, referring to the decades after the war in which Article 175 still criminalized homosexuality.

Real justice is more important than individual laws that can always be changed

Georg is very familiar with the elaborate arguments lawyers use to explain the situation, but he’s not interested in them. He’s seen too much in the course of his long life, and he has experienced how quickly such seemingly irrefutable principles and arguments can change in the course of time. What he himself focuses on is bigger, and it is not relative: real justice.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/22/georg-and-dietmar-gay-german-couple_n_6911574.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Shape Up: Be One Of The Big Boys of Summer

The bulking season is coming to an end, and soon it will be time to be lean for summer! It’s our last chance to put on some muscle before it will be time to shred. This can only mean one thing: Time to lift heavy and go hard!

Here is a program you can follow for six weeks to put on some weight and size in all the right places. Yes, you’re going to spend a little more time lifting. However, you’ll be spending less time doing cardio!! So lets get right down to it!!

Day 1: Chest

4 sets of 8 reps:

Bench Press

Incline Bench Press

Decline Hammer Strength Chest Press

3 sets of 12 reps:

Fly Machine

Dips (body weight with a dumbbell between thighs)

Hammer Dumbbell Chest Press on Flat Bench

Try to increase weight by 10 lbs. each set. You can stay at the same weight for sets 3 and 4.

Day 2: Back

4 sets of 8 reps:

Wide Grip Pull-ups

Bent Over Barbell row

4 sets of 12:

Cable Pulldown

Bent Over 1-arm Row with dumbbell

Dumbbell Shrugs

Close Grip Cable Row

To save time, superset two of the above exercises together, resting only after completing a set of two exercises back to back. Give yourself 2-3 minutes rest time to recover.

Day 3: Shoulders

4 sets of 10:

Barbell Strict Press (Make sure you start with your elbows in front of your body before pushing up above your head to avoid injury)

Dumbbell Shoulder Abductions/Lateral Raises

Hammer Strength Shoulder Press

4 sets of 12:

Cable Shoulder External Rotation

Cable Rope High Pull

Plate Front Raise

Day 4: Arms

4 sets of 8:

Standing Wide Grip E-Z Bar Bicep Curl

Standing Cable Tricep Pushdown

Flat Bench Tricep Narrow Grip Press

Dumbbell Hammer Alternating Bicep Curls

Standing Narrow Grip E-Z Bar Bicep Curl

Tricep Rope Cable Pulldown

Bicep Rope Cable Curl

Tricep dumbbell Bent Over Kickback

Superset these bicep/tricep exercises to work opposing muscles for serious gun gains!

Day 5: Legs

4 sets of 12:

Squats

Deadlifts

Bulgarian Split Squats (1 leg at a time)

Quad Leg Extension Machine

Hamstring Curl Machine

Glute Cable Kickback

4 sets of 15:

Calf Raise Standing Machine

Seated Calf Raise Machine

This intense split routine will work each muscle group and tear the muscle fibers in order to produce growth in the muscle. Allowing enough time to recover fully while you work other muscle groups will let you be ready to lift hard again the next time you hit each muscle! Give yourself 1-2 days rest after your leg day to give your whole body a break. Be sure to eat plenty of good protein and don’t be afraid of carbs at this time! They will help your muscles grow and the bigger muscles will help you burn away fat when the time comes to shred any extra fat so that your new huge muscles pop!

The Phoenix Effect, a metabolic bootcamp that gets you in shape fast, is offered exclusively at Mansion Fitness, 7914 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood.

Jeremy Kinser

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Kerry Washington Slays the House Down With Powerful GLAAD Acceptance Speech: VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

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Op-ed: Don't Mention Aaron Schock's Belt Ever Again

Aaron Schock’s rise and fall shows that even gay people still cling to gay stereotypes.

read more

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Anderson Cooper Grills Andy Cohen On If He's Ever Had Sex In the 'Watch What Happens Live!' Clubhouse: VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

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When Miss America Met The Biggest Star in the World

Queery editor Mark S. King shares this remembrance of a night filled with celebrities — and the man who was the biggest star of them all.

It wasn’t easy keeping my composure when I interviewed for my first job for an AIDS agency in 1987. Sitting across from me was Daniel P. Warner, the founder of the first AIDS organization in Los Angeles, LA Shanti. Daniel was achingly beautiful. He had brown eyes as big as serving platters and muscles that fought the confines of the safe sex t-shirt he was wearing.

At 26 years old, with my red hair and freckles that had not yet faded, I wasn’t used to having conversations with the kind of gorgeous man you might spy across a gay bar and wonder plaintively what it might be like to have him as a friend. But Daniel, one of legions of people who had abandoned whatever career they had planned and went to work building support programs for the sick and dying, did his best to put me at ease. He hired me as his assistant on the spot, and then spent the next few years teaching me the true meaning of community service.

My new mentor and friend quite literally embodied Shanti’s mission to provide a non-judgmental, compassionate presence to our clients, many of whom were in the final stages of life.

Daniel was also our secret weapon when it came to fund raising. Whether shirtless in a dunking booth, dressed in full leather regalia, or spruced up to meet a major donor, it was tough to resist his charms. He knew his gifts, organizationally and otherwise, and offered them liberally for the benefit of our fledgling agency.

As time went on, Shanti grew enormously but Daniel’s health faltered. He eventually made the decision to move to San Francisco to retire, but we all knew what that really meant. I was resigned to never see him again.

In 1993, Shanti hosted our biggest, most star-studded fundraiser we had ever produced. It was a tribute to the recently departed entertainer Peter Allen, lost to AIDS, and the magnitude of celebrities who came to perform or pay their respects was like nothing I have ever seen. By that time I had become our director of public relations, and it was my job to corral the stars into the media room for interviews.

Celebrities like Lily Tomlin, Barry Manilow, Lypsinka, Ann-Margret, and AIDS icon Michael Callen were making their way through the gauntlet of cameras in the crowded media room. I had tried to no avail to convince our headliner Bette Midler to make herself available to the expectant press, but as I stood in her dressing room pleading my case, she firmly declined, explaining that she had an early morning call for the filming of the television remake of Gypsy. I had tried to insist until she waved me away and started removing her panty hose right in front of me. I nearly tripped through the doorway during my frantic retreat.

Back up in the media room, one of my volunteers approached me with a look of shock and excitement on his face. He pulled me from the doorway. “I didn’t know he was going to be here,” he said with wide eyes. “I mean –“

“Who?” I asked. On my God. Tom Hanks? Richard Gere?

“He’s with Miss America, Mark,” he said. “They’re right behind me.” We both turned as the couple rounded the corner of the hallway. They entered the light of the media room and I barely kept a gasp from escaping.

Beautiful Leanza Cornett, who had been crowned Miss America, in part, by being the first winner to have HIV prevention as her platform, had a very small man at her side. His head bore the inflated effects of chemotherapy, which had apparently done little to stem the kaposi sarcoma (KS) lesions that were horribly visible across his face, his neck, his hands. His eyes were swollen nearly shut. In defiance of all this, his lips were parted in a pearly, shining smile that matched the one worn by his gorgeous escort.

I stepped into the media room, wanting to collect myself, to wipe the look of pity off my face. I swallowed hard and stepped into the doorway to announce them to the press.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” I said. “Miss America 1993 Leanza Cornett, escorted by Mr. Daniel Warner, co-founder of the Los Angeles Shanti Foundation.”

The couple walked into the bright light and several flashes went off at once. And then the condition of Miss America’s companion dawned on the camera crews. A few flashes continued, slowly, like a strobe light, and across the room a few of the photographers lifted their eyes from their equipment to be sure their lenses had not deceived them.

Daniel looked to me with a graceful smile, and it became a full, sunny grin as he looked to the beauty queen beside him and put his arm around her. She pulled him closer to her. Their faces sparkled and beamed – glorious, joyful, defiant – in the blazing light of the room.

That man, I thought to myself, that brave, incredible man is the biggest star I have ever seen.

And then the pace of the flashes began to grow as the photographers realized they were witnessing something profound. The couple walked the path through the room and toward the other door. “Just one more, Mr. Warner?” one suddenly called out. “Miss America! Just another?” The room became a cacophony of fluttering lenses and calls to look this way and that, all of it powered by two incandescent smiles.

Daniel and Leanza held tight to each other, their delight lifted another notch as they basked in their final call. Every moment of grace, every example of bravery and resilience I have known from people living with HIV, can be summed up in that glorious instant of joy and empowerment.

“Boss!” I said to him as they exited the room. “I didn’t know you would be here. It’s just… so great.”

He winked at me. “I’ll be around,” he said. “I brought my whole family with me tonight. I need to get to the party and show off my new girlfriend!” The three of us laughed, and then I watched Daniel and Miss America, arm in arm, disappear down the hall and into the reception.

Only months later, I was at my desk in Atlanta in my new position as director of a coalition of people living with HIV when I received a phone call.

“Mark, this is Daniel,” said a weakened voice. “Monday is my birthday, and I thought that might be a good day to leave.” Daniel had always been fiercely supportive of the right of the terminally ill to die with dignity and on their own terms. We shared some of our favorite memories of our days at Shanti and I was able to thank him for his faith in me and setting into motion a lifetime of work devoted to those of us living with HIV.

Daniel P. Warner, as promised, died on his birthday on Monday, June 14, 1993. He was 38 years old.

(Photo credits: Daniel Warner by Jim Blevins; Lily Tomlin and Lypsinka by Ron Galella; Daniel Warner and Leanza Cornett by Karen Ocamb.)

Mark

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