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Open Question: Confused, need advice?
Up until 4 weeks ago I always assumed I was straight, I have had same sex fantasies before but that’s what I always assumed they were, fantasies as I don’t actually intend to ever try anything with a male. 4 weeks ago the prospect of a relationship (with a girl) became a likelihood and since then I keep having this feeling that I can’t be in a relationship with her in case I am gay. I have never been attracted to males physically or emotionally and although I can acknowledge when a guy is attractive, my first thought isnt sexual and I do not automatically think sexual thoughts unless I consciously do it? I do not think I could ever be in a relationship with a man, I have never had a crush on someone of the same sex, all fantasies have been physical/sexual and short lived. I also notice females automatically e.g. In the street my eyes are always drawn to females and never males unless I consciously force myself to look at men. I really do desire a relationship with females and specifically this girl though something feels wrong? On a seperate subject ive always been convinced I am not good enough for someone and I have trust issues and get jealous easily. Could it be that it’s not as much my sexuality that’s the problem and that I’m just trying to find a way to sabotage a potential relationship to prevent myself from possibly getting hurt? I understand I may be bi-curious too. Any input would be greatly appreciated as I am very confused at the moment.
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