I stood only 5’5 but I was still tall for my age. Weaving in and out of middle schoolers as I made my way to the library, I tried to make as little impression as possible. I was only 12 years old, but the signs of puberty already started its war on my body and mind. I was already out the doors when the school bell rang and I rushed into the public library within minutes. I slowed my pace, struggling to catch my breath as I made my way to the young adult section. I felt sweat drip from my forehead, and I looked around nervously as I let my fingers glide over the books labeled “sexual education.” I already knew that this section contained the few gay and lesbian books in the library.

Earlier that day we had a career session with some parents of my peers. I had been uninterested in all but one, a lawyer. She spoke about changing the world as she sat sternly in her pantsuit with a wide grin every time I excitedly asked a question. I was filled with new found inspiration.

Now here in the library I asked the librarian, who by this point must have assumed my sexuality by the litany of LGBTQ+ books I returned, “Do you have any books on gay lawyers?” My voice cracked. She smiled tightly and said “No I don’t think we do, but we have books on normal lawyers right over here.” With no malintent she impressed something into my young mind. Gay lawyers weren’t normal — or even more concerning –perhaps they didn’t exist.

It would be years before I found LGBTQ+ peers also looking into becoming lawyers, because they wanted to become the role models we all felt missing. We bonded over our shared understanding of LGBTQ+ hardships. Each of us had hungrily scoured the internet, publications, YouTube videos to catch glimpses of LGBTQ+ lawyers, judges, or even legislators. All of us searching for a public face. All of us dreaming to become that face.

When Justice Andrew McDonald first came into the news, my friends and I all excitedly talked about what it would mean to have the first openly gay Chief Justice in the United States appointed in Connecticut. In the drudgery of writing college papers we were inspired because here was someone we could be. His qualifications have been affirmed by dozens of well-respected attorneys from all parties. His nomination should have been a simple matter, but it’s turned out to be just the opposite. Instead, organizations have turned the nomination of a qualified person who had earned their place in their chosen field, into a battle of political wills.

“We are standing up for Justice McDonald because we know him, know his intellect and his experience. We are working as hard as we can to get him confirmed as the first openly gay Chief Justice. “ @senatorduff #ConfirmMcDonald pic.twitter.com/wbGJ82RyDm

— ctEQUALITY (@ctEQUALITY) March 25, 2018

As students studying to take the LSAT this filled many of us with anger and others with hopelessness. If McDonald couldn’t do it, what chance did we have? While some look to television and celebrities for inspiration, we looked to these prominent out LGBTQ+ lawyers and judges who had carved a path, to motivate us through our studies and to give us hope to start the difficult journey of law school. For some of us in CT the venom of the public discourse that’s erupted from this confirmation process was a reality check of the world we still live in.  

Confirming Justice McDonald is not a partisan act, but a signal that our democracy works. Through his confirmation our institutions become stronger. Perhaps even more it is a call of hope that one day we may even have an openly LGBTQ+ U.S Supreme Court Justice. It is a step towards representation that generations before feared to even dream of. We have the chance to make this our shared reality. We cannot let it slip by – for past LGBTQ+ generations – for future LGBTQ+ generations – and even more imperative we can’t let this slip by for us.

We have waited long enough, let’s not wait any longer.

Justin Mendillo is a Connecticut College senior studying Government and American Studies. He works for Planned Parenthood and CT Equality, and is a GLAAD Campus ambassador.