Could sport change your life? - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com

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Could sport change your life?

When I was growing up I wasn’t a huge fan of sports. I was tall but skinny, and not very coordinated. Phys.Ed classes at school usually involved being picked last for teams and merciless teasing for being gay.

Unsurprisingly, this is a relatively common experience for gay men – sports clubs can be fairly unforgiving environments, and somehow seem to expose and amplify any confidence or identity issues that you may be grappling with.

While gay men knock it out of the park in terms of looking after their body and going to the gym (we’re about twice as likely to go to the gym then straight men), the participation level of gay men in sport is significantly lower than that of our straight
counterparts.

Does that matter? As long as we’re looking good who cares if we’re not playing sport?

I discussed this with Dr Qazi Ramen, assistant professor in cognitive biology at London’s Queen Mary University. According to Ramen, just focusing on the physical health benefits of sport is missing the bigger picture – that mental health is
actually the big danger zone for gay men:
‘Let’s look at some facts…’, says Ramen – talking quickly and with passion, ‘Scientific research is showing us that gay men are something like two to three times more likely to suffer from the entire range of psychiatric problems – including depression,
anxiety, panic, substance abuse, and suicide.”

But can playing sport have a positive impact on our mental health? I spoke to some of the sporty gays that I know to get their perspective, they came up with three compelling reasons why gay sport is the way forward.

1. Exercise

The physical benefits of playing sport and exercising are well documented and fairly self-evident. Giving your body a good workout occasionally is not only good for your physical health, but the adrenaline and endorphins released as part of physical
exercise have also been shown to have a positive impact on mental health as well.

Swimmer Claus Kruse took up sport to get his fitness and self-esteem back on track:
‘I wanted to get off my fat ass – I was becoming addicted to bad TV and was feeling lonely. I joined a gay sports club as I didn’t want to have to deal with some of the personal questions about your sexuality that you seem to get with straight clubs.’

Footballer Rory Desch stumbled across his club by accident:

‘At the time I was fitness mad, but it was mainly centered around the gym. I wanted to do something that would be outdoors. I saw an ad for a gay football club that trained near where I lived and decided to give it a try. The team were surprisingly welcoming – mixed abilities but the stronger players were very supportive and helpful, giving me much needed direction.’

Diver David Forrest reports that he joined a gay club primarily to keep fit:
‘I’d always been part of straight clubs previously, and I wanted to try something different – the gay club was a lot more fun, I instantly felt more comfortable.’

2. Meet People

The benefits of joining a sports club extend beyond the physical – clubs and teams can help to provide valuable social interaction, opening up new networks and contacts with people from different walks of life but with common interests.

Rugby player Niall Caverly joined a gay sports club on moving to London:
‘I’d never played rugby when growing up out of fear of being the gay kid on the team, so I’d mostly stuck with individual sports. But having moved to a new city I didn’t really know many people – so joining a sports club seemed like a good option. The Kings Cross Steelers take beginner rugby players so it was a great way to learn and be open and feel included.’

Swimmer Claus Kruse has definitely seen the social benefits of joining a sports club:
‘I’ve met a whole new crowd of guys and girls – it also helped me realize that the hunky guy on the swim team that I never had the guts to talk to on a night out has exactly the same insecurities as me.’

Runner David Maher was also looking to join a sports group for the social perspective:
‘I felt that I would be able to find like-minded people in a gay club. I hadn’t really had any exposure to team or club sports before and I thought I would feel more comfortable participating in a gay club.’

Footballer Rory Desch deliberately joined a gay sports club to meet more gay guys:
‘Having previously struggled to make many gay friends I thought it would be an opportunity to meet other gay men and interact socially with them, if only when training or playing games. I also thought that they might be more sympathetic to my lack of football skills (and they were), helping me to improve. All of a sudden I had this extended network of friends and acquaintances. I hadn’t appreciated the social opportunities I could experience by being a member of a team – after-game socials, nights out, and tournaments both home and abroad. For the first time in my gay life I felt I fitted in.’

3. Sex

There is a common misconception that gay sports clubs aren’t really about sport at all but are just an excuse for everyone to have sex with each other. While this is probably not true, opportunities to meet guys for sex are likely to increase if you’re out and about, being active and meeting new people – this builds your confidence and helps motivates you to stay active and focused.

Swimmer Pascal Anson cheekily but honestly answered that he joined a gay sports club for the sex, but instead he got ‘sport, sex, and drama!’ Anson has gone on to travel the world competing in gay sports swimming tournaments and has also established a gay swimming club in Brighton.

Water polo player Louis Chaidron happily reports that:
‘Your sex appeal just explodes when you say you’re in a water polo team – that’s not the only reason that I play water polo, but it’s definitely one of the positive aspects of the sport!’

Rugby player Niall Caverly confirms that:
‘Having “rugby player” written on your online profile is a great way to break the ice – often people will ask you about the club even just out of curiosity rather than hitting on you, or just as a way to start chatting instead of “Hi m8″.’

Gay sport – get into shape, meet new people, improve your sex life. Sign me up!

This article was originally published in FS Magazine.