Why Straight Men Are Acting Way More Gay Than Ever Before

Pat Robertson was right. It seems his prophecy, and our secret mission, is actually happening. The homosexual crusade to convert innocent heterosexuals actually is paying dividends–even if the oleaginous Robertson himself seems to elude our charms.

That’s right. Heterosexuals the world over are acting way more gay than ever before, thanks to our obvious seductiveness and, well, TV shows like Modern Family, gay wedding cakes, and of course songs by Cher.

And can you blame them? Now that bigotry is diminishing, even non-gay guys can see how good we have it: the sexual liberation, the freedom from peer pressure and stereotyping, gender fluidity. Non-marriage and monogamy. Did we mention our own film fests and go-go boys?

Just how did we accomplish our goal? We’d never be so foolish as to divulge our secrets. But we can share with you the fruits of our labor.

Scroll down to see all the ways in which straight guys have been acting more gay…

Cuddling

More and more straight dudes are trading in fist bumps, high fives and back slapping for spooning and snuggling. A study published in the journal Men and Masculinities earlier this year found that 93 percent of straight-identifying British lads have cuddled with another guy, and a whopping 98 percent said they’d shared a bed with another man. Many claimed they did so for practical reasons, like crashing at a friend’s place after a night on the town, but others said they did it to “feel close” to their guy friends. Isn’t that sweet?

Bottoming

Earlier this month, one of our favorite vloggers Davey Wavey convinced straight dude Donald to try bottoming on camera. Sort of. Armed with a butt plug and lots of lube, Donald allowed himself to be videotaped from the waist up as he inserted the vibrating device into his derriere. “You know,” he said midway through the experiment, “I would say it feels pretty good because I’m starting to get hard.” Then he got straight to the point: “This weird magical spot in there that you wouldn’t expect to feel good.”

Kissing

The folks over at Buzzfeed like to throw straight dudes into a big ‘ole pile of gays just to see what happens. They’ve imagined what if would be like if straight people had to come out, pried self-professed straight guy to dish on hot male celebrities, and even convincedbesties to look at each other naked for the first time. You know, for science. But our favorite experiment has to be the time they had straight guys kiss men for the first time. While the end result was more awkward than hot, we were still happy to see so many hetero dudes down with swapping spit with one another.

Watching gay erotica

Last November we uncovered a Reddit thread in which a straight man by the name of “father_figa” confessed to having “a very high sex drive and perhaps a smattering of sexual addictions,” which caused him to regularly watch gay porn. He then asked if other hetero guys ever did the same. More than 75 dudes replied by saying they, too, got off on watching hardcore man-on-man action.

Having gay sex

Perhaps the gayest behavior straight men have begun engaging lately is gay sex. Last December, yet another allegedly straight man took to Reddit to confess “I feel very attracted to girls and not at all to men when sober, but when I get high I just want a big cock to suck and a man who fucks the shit out of me.” So one day he “decided to have sex with a guy.”

Ultimately, he decided it kind of “grossed him out,” but he was glad he gave it it the good ‘ol schoolboy try.

We are, too.

Take that, Pat Robertson!

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What's It Like to Be Deaf and Gay? (VIDEO)

I’m From Driftwood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit archive for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer stories. New stories are posted on the site every Wednesday.

What’s it like to navigate the gay world when you’re deaf? Richard Mesich shares his story, beginning with his coming-out experience. Richard recalls talking to his mom on AOL Instant Messenger:

We were talking, and my mom asked me, “Are you gay? Are you interested in boys?” I was thinking and realized it is time for me to open up, so I told my mom, “Yes, I am gay.” She said, “OK, that’s good. I am happy to hear that from you. I knew you were gay since you were a little kid.”

When Richard turned 21, his gay uncles took him to his first gay club in West Hollywood. While the experience was a little uncomfortable, it introduced him to the dating world:

I dated a few guys on and off. It was good and enjoyable. But I was very nervous dating a guy for the first time. I met this one person, and he was hearing. We went out for dinner, and we could communicate a little, but sometimes it’s hard with a hearing person. Mostly I would text on my phone to communicate.

Now, years later, Richard is able to reflect on how comfortable he’s become as an out gay, deaf man:

Comparing high school to where I am now, I used to feel lost and isolated. I didn’t know who I was. Now I feel confident, happy and know who I am. I’m comfortable with hearing and deaf people; it doesn’t matter to me. Now I know who I am, but I am not in a rush to look for love.

WATCH:

For more stories, visit I’m From Driftwood, the LGBTQ Story Archive.

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Arkansas Senate Passes Religion Bill Called Anti-Gay

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March 27 (Reuters) – The Arkansas Senate overwhelmingly approved on Friday a Republican-backed bill whose authors say is intended to protect religious freedoms but critics contend could allow businesses to refuse service to gay people.
The Republican governor of Indiana signed into law a similar “religious freedom” bill on Thursday, prompting protests from human rights groups and criticism from some business leaders.
The bill advancing in the Republican-led Arkansas legislature says “governments should not substantially burden the free exercise of religion without compelling justification.”
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Two of the most powerful companies in the United States, retailer Wal-Mart Stores Inc, which has its home office in Arkansas, and technology giant Apple Inc came out against the measure.
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Apple CEO Tim Cook, referring to the measures in the two states, said in a tweet: “Apple is open for everyone. We are deeply disappointed in Indiana’s new law and calling on Arkansas Gov. to veto the similar HB1228.”
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Country Radio Fulfills Own Stereotypes By Banning Straight Love Song For Being Too Gay

It would be one thing for us to be annoyed with country radio stations for banning an LGBT-themed song based on a bogus holier-than-thou attitude — we’ve seen that movie before, and the ending is so predictable.

But it’s another thing entirely for those stations to ban a straight country music song because they don’t quite understand the concept and think it’s gay.

Either way, it’s pretty ugly.

The song in question is “Girl Crush” sung by Little Big Town member Karen Fairchild, and the gist of it is a female longing to be a different girl so that she’d be the object of a man’s affection.

Apparently that’s too complex of a thought for some country music fans.

Here’s the chorus:

I want to taste her lips
Yeah, ’cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blonde hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, ’cause maybe then
You’d want me just as much

“You are just promoting the gay agenda on your station and I am changing the channel and never listening to you ever again!!” one idiot from Texas wrote in to say.

In a recent interview, the band was asked, “Is it frustrating to you that here is your song – that is one of the Top 10 sellers for weeks and weeks and weeks – and people on the radio are still afraid to play it because they think it’s a lesbian song?”

Fairchild responded, “Just the fact that we’re still discussing that, number one, there’s so many problems with that whole issue.”

Here’s the jam, which if were drunk and doing whippets all night, maybe we could mistake for a lesbian love song:

h/t: GayStarNews

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