Could Michigan Pass a Gay-Only Nondiscrimination Bill?
The fight for LGBT employment and housing nondiscrimination protections in Michigan just got dirty.
Sunnivie Brydum
www.advocate.com/politics/2014/11/12/could-michigan-pass-gay-only-nondiscrimination-bill
Letting You In: The Complexities of Post-coital Care as a Queer Person With a Disability
He looked into my eyes and kissed me hard on the mouth. Clothes began flying about the room. Our breaths met. He gently moved me to the bed. We did what two men do best. Then, before sleeping, we spent four hours spooning, simply spending time with one another and relishing this world between fantasy and reality. It was beautiful for what it was, and a moment that I have clung to since it happened a few months back.
When it was all said and done and the light of morning flooded my room, I rolled over to find that I was still next to this beautiful stranger. He was on the bed, asking me how he could be of help. I was puzzled. Usually, at this point, the guy is throwing his clothes on as quickly as he removed them, the novelty of “crip sex” having worn off, and sheepishly heading for the door. Usually, I am waiting on my lover to leave so that I can call my attendant and lie about what I have been up to. But this time was different: This guy actually wanted to see what my wake-up routine consisted of and was selflessly offering a hand.
At this moment, two things were happening simultaneously. On the one hand, I was so excited that someone wanted to stick around to see what living with a disability really means, that he wanted to delve into my reality, not just into the theory of disability. (Also, I can’t lie: If this guy had offered you a shower, you wouldn’t have been able to refuse him either, nor would you have wanted to.) On the other hand, I was terrified of what this meant for me. I have made a point of keeping care and coitus partners separate, and here I was, letting the two worlds crash into each other without a second thought. He led me into the shower, and I showed him my routine of washing and cleaning. Of course, I took full advantage of finally having a naked man in my shower after quite some time. (If you’re reading this and cheering me on — or visualizing it with your pants off — I thank you.) Afterward, he put on my leg bag and helped me dress and get back in my chair. We went for coffee, and he told me how great his night was, and that he wanted to see me again. He then got on the bus back to the city and left. My heart, head and mind were aflutter.
Before we continue, let me just say that in this moment, I was not so naïve as to assume that we would become instant lovers, partners or homosocial friends. I have been around long enough to know a hookup when I see one. The sex was probably among the best I have ever had, but that wasn’t what I will remember. The real intimacy came afterward, when he asked to be let into my world of leg bags, washing and care. He probably thought he was just being polite and helpful, seeing someone who needed a hand and offering it.
I saw the interaction differently. By agreeing to help me with post-coital care and attempting to understand the realities of my disability, he was being more intimate with me than any one-night stand had ever been. And I was showing him my true self, my vulnerabilities and my realness. My disability and all that it encompasses were laid bare without apology or exception. By helping me in this moment, he was telling me (whether he realized it or not) that I could trust him, and that all that I am was valid and OK.
So when he disappeared without a trace (the all-too-common mark of a one-time lover), I was considerably confused. I felt, dare I say, violated. I was hurt that I had let this beautiful stranger in and showed him a part of my world that scares me the most. I had given him the opportunity to know me in my most honest state, not just what I wanted in a sexual context but what I needed as a fellow human but was unable to do on my own, and he squandered it, leaving me to have to start anew the process of hoping someone will delve into my disability and all its parts.
The next time you offer to lend a helping hand (other than the one the night before) to that pretty, palsied PwD you play with, make sure you understand the opportunity you are being given and what it might mean for them to “let you in.”
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gregh
James Franco’s Resume Grows Longer With New Album, And It’s Surprisingly Good
James Franco has already checked off movie star, scholar, Broadway thespian, teacher, director, author, playwright, and Oscar host off his bucket list, so why stop there?
The almost annoyingly busy renaissance man is now coming out with an album, of course. The band is called Daddy, and in typical James Franco fashion, instead of pop beats and silly unrequited love stories, we get lyrics like, “The love life of the octopus, groping and grabbing.”
And even truer to form, there’s this heady explanation:
“[Daddy goes] beyond the ‘art of sampling’ into the act of appropriation. Not just appropriating a genre of music, but the moments it inhabits, and the characters that embody it.”
Franco, along with Daddy co-creator Tim O’Keefe, also enlisted the help of original Smiths bassist Andy Rourke for their Smiths-esque post-punk sound, and were audacious enough to release a debut single called “This Charming Man.”
Which would all be easy to shake your head at, except it’s actually quite good. Give a listen below:
Dan Tracer
Nebraska ACLU Plans to Challenge Marriage Ban
Next Monday, the American Civil Liberties Union of Nebraska plans to file a lawsuit challenging the state’s gay marriage ban.
Omaha.com reports that in a recent email sent to “same-sex marriage supporters,” Executive Director Danielle Conrad announced the suit, and that it will ask for same-sex couples to be able to marry in Nebraska, and also that out-of-state gay marriages will be recognized within Nebraska’s borders.
This would be something of a landmark moment for nationwide recognition of same-sex marriage — as of right now, Nebraska is the only state without either same-sex marriage or a federal lawsuit seeking approval of same-sex marriage. In 2000, the state’s ban, Nebraska Initiative 416, was passed with a staggering 70%. The text of the initiative reads:
Only marriage between a man and a woman shall be valid or recognized in Nebraska. The uniting of two persons of the same sex in a civil union, domestic partnership, or other similar same-sex relationship shall not be valid or recognized in Nebraska.
The names of the plaintiffs in the new ACLU suit have not yet been released.
Developing…
Jake Folsom
www.towleroad.com/2014/11/nebraska-aclu-plans-to-challenge-marriage-ban.html
Italian Cardinal: Same-Sex Marriages a ‘Trojan Horse’ to Attack Society
The head of the Italian Bishops Conference rails against ‘undermining culturally and socially the core of humanity.’
Stevie St. John
Supreme Court Lifts Hold On Gay Marriages In Kansas
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court says same-sex marriages can go ahead in Kansas.
The court on Wednesday denied the state’s request to prevent gay and lesbian couples from marrying while Kansas fights the issue in court.
A federal district judge last week blocked the state from enforcing its ban, saying it was in keeping with an earlier ruling by the federal appeals court that oversees Kansas that struck down bans in Oklahoma and Utah.
The judge’s ruling was supposed to go into effect Tuesday, but Justice Sonia Sotomayor (SOHN’-ya soh-toh-my-YOR’) temporarily put it on hold while the high court reviewed the case.
Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas would have sided with the state.
Copyright 2014 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Wendy Williams does not apologize for comments she made about Bruce Jenner
‘You know, I call things as I see them and that’s that’
gregh
Marriage Equality Arrives in Kansas
www.hrc.org/blog/entry/marriage-equality-arrives-in-kansas?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed
The $5 Million Fondle: Hospital Sued After Nurse Molests Male Patient On Video
Photo credit: Local 10
A patient who claims an ER technician fondled him while he was sedated at a Florida hospital is suing for $5 million, Local 10 in Miami reports.
“He put his hand on my boxers,” the victim, whose name has not been released, said. “He grabbed my private part, and he started playing with it and squeezing it.”
The man was under sedation and being treated for leg and back pain when police say ER technician Rene Martinez grabbed him by the crotch.
“I was like, ‘What’s going on?’ and he was like, ‘I was just checking to make sure you’re OK.’ That’s when I say, ‘OK this guy is up to something,’” the victim said.
Martinez then left the room. He returned a few minutes later to grab the man’s crotch again. Unbeknownst to him, however, the victim had switched on his cellphone camera and was filming the entire thing.
“He was saying I could make money from one of his friends by showing my private parts,” the victim alleged.
Afterwards, he complained to the hospital. Two weeks later, he handed over the video to police. Martinez was arrested and charged with two counts of simple battery and two counts of an unnatural and lascivious act.
Despite the rather damning video evidence, Martinez insists he’s innocent.
“We are going to fight this,” his attorney, Sabino Jauregui, said. “The video doesn’t tell the whole story… We believe the action might have been consensual.”
The victim is now suing the hospital for $5 million for not protecting him from the sexual assault. He also claims his life has been ruined and that the incident stirred painful, long-buried memories of the time he was molested as a child.
So far the hospital is not commenting on the incident.
See the NSFW video, obtained by Local 10, below. What do you think? Does it look consensual to you?
Related stories:
Man Checks Into Hospital For Colonoscopy, Wakes Up Wearing Lacy Lady Panties
Man Goes To Hospital For Circumcision, Wakes Up With No Penis
Doctor Leaves Male Patients Feeling “Dirty And Ashamed” After Inappropriate Check-Ups
Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
Graham Gremore
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