Gay Syrian Man Who Was Forced To Flee His Country Shares His Heartbreaking But Hopeful Story

When Shadi Ismail’s father caught him in bed with another guy, he took a burning coal from a hookah pipe and pressed it against his son’s arm.

“In my mind, I was thinking I deserve it because I did something wrong,” Ismail (pictured) says in a new interview with Boise Public Radio. “It was awful.”

Ismail grew up in Syria. As a child, he says he always knew he was attracted to members of the same sex. After the burning cold incident, he fled his father’s home to live with his mother. (His parents were divorced.) But, he says, the abuse didn’t stop.

One day, Ismail’s mother ordered her son to be beaten by his cousins. When Ismail eventually ran away from his mother’s home, his brother attacked one of Ismail’s friends for refusing to reveal where he had moved.

Over the years, Ismail’s house was burglarized, but he didn’t report the incident to authorities out of fear that they would require he give his real name and his family would discover where he was living. Another time, he claims he was physically attacked by three men for being gay. That incident led Ismail’s boss, who was also a closeted gay man, to encourage him to request assistance in escaping the country as a refugee.

That was about two-and-a-half years ago.

“I left everything to be who I am,” he says.

Today, Ismail lives in Boise, Idaho. It may seem like a random location to some, but according to him, it couldn’t be more perfect.

Almost immediately, he says, his life improved. Two weeks after arriving, he landed a job. And two weeks after that, he landed a second job. This enabled him to support himself financially. In addition to finding steady work, Ismail also found a roommate, who he says is now like a sister to him.

“If I don’t see her, I miss her,” he says. “This [is what] I feel is my family now. Not there [in Syria].”

Despite everything, Ismail still remains in contact with his family. One day, he called his father out of the blue.

“I did not think about it,” he says. “I [just wanted] to call him.”

Though they didn’t discuss the past or the abuse Ismail suffered at his father’s hand, Ismail says, “[It] was a very good conversation.”

Today, he sends money back to his family, though he doesn’t plan on ever returning to Syria, given the current political landscape.

“Sometimes I cry for it,” he says. “I watch it. I can’t take it.”

Instead, he is looking to the future.

Up next on his agenda: A husband, a dog, and a house.

Listen to Ismail’s full with Jodie Martinson at Boise Public Radio interview here.

Related stories:

Syria Releases 25 Gays Who Dared Attend Parties With Other Homosexuals

How Syrian Police Can Keep Gays Locked Up: Threatening Families Who Want to Bail Them Out

Does It Matter If The Syrian Kidnap Of Lesbian Blogger Is A Hoax Or Not?

Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Graham Gremore

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/QYcWotImZpw/gay-syrian-man-who-was-forced-to-flee-his-country-shares-his-heartbreaking-but-hopeful-story-20141218

WATCH: 'Duck Dynasty' Son 'Trying to Figure Out' If Being Gay Is a Choice

Willie Robertson says he’s not sure if people are born gay, but he loves them just the same — proven by the fact that he works alongside gay people who produce his family’s reality show.

read more

Sunnivie Brydum

www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/2014/12/18/watch-duck-dynasty-son-trying-figure-out-if-being-gay-choice

The Gift of Sally Ride's Secret
I stayed up until 4 a.m. last night reading Lynn Sherr’s biography, Sally Ride: America’s First Woman in Space, an unwise choice, given my schedule for today. Now, I’m sitting on my flight home to Seattle from NYC, where I just finished it, sniffling quietly, hoping my seatmate doesn’t notice my tears. After I read the last page, I spent several minutes flipping through the photographs in the center of the book, staring at the various renditions of this famous woman, pictured from infancy into her fifties, then rereading snippets of pages, marveling at her complexity and wondering at the price she paid for the choices she made.

It’s an amazing story of a remarkable woman. I am crying again as I type. I don’t really know why, though. Yes, Sally Ride inspired me. Purposeful, poised, fantastically competent, wildly successful, all that is true. Beyond being the first American woman astronaut to launch into outer space, she advised Presidents, served on national commissions, founded a social enterprise (Sally Ride Science). But at heart, she was a scientist who loved sharing her passion for physics and learning, asking questions and seeking answers. She not only showed what women are capable of doing in an era far different than today and paved the way for others to follow her, but she helped widen the road for all girls to imagine themselves doing anything they set their sights on.

Not merely an advocate for expanding girls’ access to science and improving science education for everyone, Sally Ride created innovative and engaging learning opportunities that reached millions of girls in their critical learning years and altered their self-perceptions and their futures. Countless girls not only discovered science, but developed their own lifelong passions for delving deep into the universe’s many mysteries.

The litany of Sally Ride’s accomplishments is impressive, but it was her authenticity that really struck me. That’s an odd thing to say, because she hid the fact that her life partner for 27 long years, way back to 1985, was a woman. She never mentioned that fact in public, and only on extremely rare occasions did she acknowledge this most intimate and important of relationships to her friends. In fact, she even lied outright on occasion to keep her secret. Of course people in her inner circle knew, but they followed her silent lead, in collusion to keep not just her image pristine, but her ability to impact others’ futures intact.

What did that cost her, I wonder? I fell in love with a woman for the first time in 1982. A year later, unable to align the mismatch between my public face and my private passion, I unceremoniously dumped my girlfriend. I hated myself for doing it, but I hated myself more for feeling like a fake and a liar. The risk of losing the respect and love of people important to me was simply too steep. So, I sacrificed a core part of myself, and kept it underground. So deeply did I bury this part of myself that I got married 18 months later, created a family with my husband that grew to include three children and simply forgot that I might be gay. But can one forget something so essential about oneself?

Sally Ride led a bifurcated life too. She didn’t forget part of herself, she just chose not to present it to the world. I am fascinated by her success in transforming the world while hiding part of herself. She was hyper-aware that her success would determine the extent of opportunities for the women who came after her. That was a responsibility she both welcomed and respected. And clearly, a pragmatist to the core who faced the facts despite the potentially high emotional cost of doing so, she was determined to succeed, as much for herself as for the future.

I understand Sally Ride’s decision to remain in the closet. In seeking to change the world’s outlook in important ways, she rightly sensed that public awareness of her sexuality would only hurt her ability to fulfill her highest purpose. Painful to admit, but she would have accomplished far less. Sally was deeply wedded to generating social change, and I can only admire her willingness to keep that goal front and center. Courageous and authentic, she lived her life to accomplish what she saw as most important.

Looking from afar, I’d guess Sally was satisfied with the life she led. She reached for the stars and got damn close. She didn’t stop to ponder the trade-offs, she just did what the job required. Her longtime partner, Tam O’Shaughnessy, Ph.D. maintains that Sally was an optimist, always looking forward, not one to regret or resent past events, although she also consistently avoided delving deeply into her feelings. That approach makes sense. Keeping focused on the public good likely gave Sally Ride enough sustenance to justify her secret-keeping. I’m only sorry she wasn’t able to live long enough to realize the progress of American culture and relax the rigid boundary between her public image and her full identity. Now I know why I’m crying; because Sally gave up so much to give us so much.

www.huffingtonpost.com/ginny-gilder/the-gift-of-sally-rides-secret_b_6350096.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Pastor whose church preaches homosexuality is a sin arrested for squeezing man's genitals

Gaylard Williams allegedly approached man at a lake – gay pornography later found in his car

read more

gregh

www.gaystarnews.com/article/pastor-whose-church-preaches-homosexuality-sin-arrested-squeezing-mans-genitals181214

Attorney General Announces DOJ Will Recognize Transgender Discrimination As Sex Discrimination

Attorney General Eric Holder announced that the Department of Justice will no longer assert that “Title VII’s prohibition against discrimination based on sex does not encompass gender identity per se (including transgender discrimination).”
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/attorney-general-announces-doj-will-recognize-transgender-discrimination-as?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Raúl Castillo Thinks It’s True Love For Looking’s Richie And Patrick

Sex incarnate — some know him as actor Raúl Castillo — has offered some insight on whether the relationship between his popular character Richie and Jonathan Groff‘s Patrick will thrive during season two of Looking.

The HBO drama returns Jan. 11 and Castillo revealed to Access Hollywood that the couple will set boundaries with each other and determine whether the twosome will remain friends or more.

“It’s always in the air whether Richie and Patrick will end up together,” he observed. “I do think Richie and Patrick have a true love and this season is about toying with…the special bond between Patrick and Richie.”

Castillo also explained how the gay community ofSan Francisco, where the show is set, has embraced the series.”After the first season, we got a lot of love being back in the city,” he said. “The community really loves how we portray the city. We get a lot of positive feedback.”

And viewers who don’t think the show is racy enough despite some very memorable sexy scenes, Castillo said there’s some interesting stuff coming up this season. “The writers have done a great job of digging in deep with these characters,” the actor shared.

Watch the interview below.

Jeremy Kinser

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/olbFkHIMd_4/raul-castillo-thinks-its-true-love-for-lookings-richie-and-patrick-20141218

DOJ: Civil Rights Act Protects Transgender Government Employees
WASHINGTON — The Justice Department will now interpret the Civil Rights Act of 1964 as protecting transgender government employees from discrimination, Attorney General Eric Holder announced Thursday.

In a memo, Holder wrote that the “best reading of Title VII’s prohibition of sex discrimination is that it encompasses discrimination based on gender identity, including transgender status.” Holder said that while Congress “may not have had such claims in mind when it enacted Title VII, the Supreme Court has made clear that Title VII must be interpreted according to its plain text.”

In a statement, Holder called the move an “important shift” that “will ensure that the protections of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 are extended to those who suffer discrimination based on gender identity, including transgender status.”

The Employment Litigation Section of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division enforces Title VII of the Civil Rights Act against state and local governments. DOJ does not file suit against private employers for discrimination claims.

Title VII Memo

www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/18/civil-rights-transgender_n_6349532.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Antigay Pastor Violently Ejected After Delivering Rant To Chilean Congress

If passion for an antigay mentality is any indication of suppressed homosexuality, this guy is gayer than Christmas.

An evangelical pastor was ejected from Chile’s Congress on Wednesday when he interrupted lawmakers by shouting insults at them while in session.

His enraged rant came after the congress voted in support of a bill that would give certain legal protections to unmarried couples independent of their sexual orientation.

Part of his rant is translated as follows:

“[HOLDING UP A POSTER FOR THE AVP BILL] Record, gentlemen… This is the filth they are offering up? To Chileans, this is perversion. This half-naked man… look at this and film it, gentlemen. This is what Mr. Rolando Jimenez (spokesperson for gay rights group Homosexual Movement of Integration and Liberation) does. Just look. Tell me otherwise.”

Even if you speak Spanish, it’s a bit hard to decipher actual words due to the high level of blood flow throbbing through the pastor’s neck as he screams his ‘lil heart out.

Here’s the video:

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/ljv8XhXMXcI/antigay-pastor-violently-ejected-after-delivering-rant-to-chilean-congress-20141218

Can Safer Sex Be Sexy? (VIDEO)
In September I was approached to join Impulse Group NYC as Director of Community Outreach. As Community Education and Recruitment Manager at the New York Blood Center’s Project ACHIEVE, I oversee all the strategic efforts to educate and recruit HIV-related biomedical research (on vaccines, PrEP, PEP, microbicides, etc.) and behavioral research studies. Having worked in the field of HIV prevention for the past eight years, I’ve learned to align myself with groups and organizations that I believe have the promise to have the highest impact to curb the HIV epidemic. Through my work with organizations like AVAC, the Young Black Gay Men’s Leadership Initiative (YBGLI), NAESM, and the New York City HIV Prevention Planning Group (NYC HPG) I am able to contribute to the field locally and nationally.

What interested me in this new start-up group was the mission to make safer sex and HIV prevention for gay men in New York City fun and normal in creative ways. In addition to raising awareness, the opportunity to rebuild a gay community in New York City was the most convincing for me to accept the volunteer position. Working with other passionate gay men who are volunteering their time to have an innovative reach to our community has been the most rewarding. Impulse Group NYC is part of the larger, international Impulse Group network, with chapters in Los Angeles, Mexico City, New Delhi, South Florida, Atlanta, and, more recently, San Diego and Orlando. As Director of Community Outreach, I am in charge of providing health information and updates of community issues to the group. From the information and community issues, we plan events to highlight the most pressing issues in our community.

Last Thursday the New York City chapter of Impulse Group launched its first-ever video campaign, Ask & Tell, with the release of “SEX,” the first video in the series.

Exemplifying our mission to spark a dialogue and spread awareness around safer sex, the five-part series features insightful, funny and honest interviews with five New York City gay men. Each video in the series showcases their candid responses to often-thought-about but rarely-voiced questions on topics ranging from sex and protection to health, stigma, HIV status and more. Since its release, “SEX” has received over 40,000 views on Impulse Group NYC’s YouTube channel, far exceeding our expectations but confirming what we suspected: that the gay community in New York City is ready and willing to talk about safer sex. It was an achievement to see the video featured on gay blogs like Towerload, Queerty, NewNowNext, and several more. Each week throughout the month of December, a new video in the series will be released.

This week we premiered “PROTECTION” and “HEALTH,” the second and third videos in the series, which you can watch below:

When we first set out to create this campaign months ago, our main goal was to create something that New York City gay men could relate to. As the development of the series went on, we realized that Ask & Tell was going to be different from what we’ve seen in the past. This video series was created, directed, and produced by a diverse group of young gay men who make up Impulse Group NYC. Our ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds all vary, yet we each share a passion for showing New York City’s gay community that they can be informed about safer-sex practices and it can be enjoyable. As advocates and community members, we thought it important that we speak bluntly about the issue but also make it relatable and get people talking.

The goal of our Ask & Tell video series is to provoke conversation among New York City’s gay community. We want sexually active men to watch the videos, connect with the content and hopefully think differently about safer sex. This video series continues to support Impulse Group NYC’s goal to provide our community with all the tools they need to live a sexually informed lifestyle, making safer sex sexy.

According to the recently released New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene’s “HIV Surveillance Annual Report,” last year 2,832 people living in New York City became infected with HIV, and an additional 1,784 people were diagnosed with AIDS. While this may be the first time that the city has seen fewer new HIV diagnoses, the majority of new infections still occur in gay men. This is not just unique to New York City; across the country rates of HIV/AIDS impacts gay men significantly.

These videos are just the beginning of what every gay man should be talking about. We want guys to know it’s sexy to communicate openly about their health and desires. This is why we decided on the following five topics to discuss in the video series:

Sex: We celebrate sexual diversity through differing desires, relationships structures, and individual choices. It is everyone’s responsibility to make it enjoyable and keep it safe.

Protection: We know that our lives matter, which is why we want gay men to take control of their lives and protect themselves — and not just sexually. Protect yourself and protect him too.

Health: There is nothing wrong with living a healthy lifestyle and loving your health. We should all strive for physical, mental, and emotional health.

Stigma: We all are one community and should not cast each other out based of differences. Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and try to be proactive in unpacking biases and prejudices you’re familiar with.

Status: HIV-neutral. We all have an HIV status. Stay protected and stay in care.

Subscribe to Impulse Group NYC’s YouTube channel to keep up with the series. As the other videos premiere, feel free to join in the conversation. You can use the hashtag #AskAndTell to spark conversations with your friends across your social media platforms and provide comments on some of the questions asked.

To learn more about Impulse Group NYC, follow us on Facebook, Instagram , Twitter, and YouTube, or visit the Impulse Group NYC website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/dashawn-usher/can-safer-sex-be-sexy_b_6337026.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Actor Ansel Elgort Addresses Gay Rumors: 'Be True to Yourself'

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/actor-ansel-elgort-addresses-gay-rumors-be-true-to-yourself-.html