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Best Tweets: What Women Said On Twitter This Week
The iPhone 6 was officially announced to the world this week and Internet pandemonium predictably followed. While all of the updated gadgets are very appealing, Veronica de Souza pointed out the iPhone 6’s best hypothetical feature: “The main difference between the iPhone 6 and the 6 plus is that the 6 plus makes it possible for you to go pee without getting up.” Ordering now.
Barbara Holm also hypothesized some magical new iPhone features: “The new I-Phone can tell you whether or not your parents really wanted you.” Wait, really?
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
I think the most uttered phrase in parking garages is, “F-ing Mini.”
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) September 6, 2014
How’s Kate Middleton gonna get thru the next 9 months without her mid-afternoon glass of white wine and late afternoon glass of white wine??
— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) September 8, 2014
She is best known for her signature dance, the Spilled Coffee On A Freshly Dry-Cleaned Top Tango.
— kase!! (@worstkase) September 8, 2014
What does it say about me that more than one person texted me this morning to tell me that Kate Middleton is pregnant?
— Sandra Di (@Sandra_Di_) September 8, 2014
I was worried I was bothering my roommate by playing Belle and Sebastian too loudly but then I remembered she went to a liberal arts college
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) September 9, 2014
The main difference between the iPhone 6 and the 6 plus is that the 6 plus makes it possible for you to go pee without getting up
— Veronica de Souza (@HeyVeronica) September 12, 2014
*beer bongs coffee*
— Monica Ann (@Monicann86) September 9, 2014
The time of year when my legs get sentimental. “We’re really gonna miss you, outside. You’re so much cooler than our other friend, tights.”
— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) September 9, 2014
That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of subtweets.
— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman) September 9, 2014
The new I-Phone can tell you whether or not your parents really wanted you
— Barbara Holm (@barbara_holm) September 9, 2014
I don’t care what the new Apple products are as long as they still make me feel more important than others.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 9, 2014
When I say I’m bad at taking compliments it means I want you to keep complimenting me so I can practice and get good at it.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) September 9, 2014
A five second rule for when I wave you into my lane.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 10, 2014
Today is our office team-building picnic w/ tug-of-war & dodgeball. So if ya need me I’ll be on the bathroom floor having middle school PTSD
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) September 10, 2014
My coffee intake cannot comprehend what you are saying.
— KMD (@KMDrunner) September 10, 2014
CONFESSION: Sometimes I’ll casually leave a Tampax Ultra wrapper lying out so people will know how big I am. 😉
— Diablo Cody (@diablocody) September 10, 2014
The way I see it, oral surgeons are just regular people who are licensed to stab you in the mouth with no legal repercussions
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) September 12, 2014
If a patriarchy runs the world, I don’t see why you guys still have to wear ties.
— Elise Foley (@elisefoley) September 12, 2014
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