I got drunk on a cross-country flight with this guy. He was like 89 or 94, sitting next to me. I wasn’t going to drink, but then he got a drink and I figured why not. He was so cute, wearing a bow tie and a fancy suit. I saw his wedding ring and asked him how he met his wife. He said he was married to a guy, and I asked for that story, still thinking it’d be romantic. But he just said they were cruising for dick.”