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Man wonders if he should tell wife he hooked up with dudes for 12 years while in the military
A married man has reached out for advice regarding his bisexual past. In a letter to Dear Abby, he wants to know: should he tell his wife he used to hook up with guys on a regular basis?
“I have been married 36 years to a woman who has saved my life and soul,” the man, identified only as “Different Person Now” writes. “We are both faithful to God and to our marriage, sharing the love of our family.”
“Prior to meeting her, for nearly 12 years through my military service and college years, I was actively bisexual. I’m not proud of this fact but learned it was more out of loneliness and experimentation than need.”
We’re not sure about that last bit… but anyway…
The man continues: “It weighs heavy on my heart. It melts me when she says ‘I love you’ and thanks me for sharing my life with her. I have prayed to God about this. Should I share this with my wife?”
Abby, as usual, gives sound advice.
“I see nothing positive to be gained by opening this long-closed chapter of your life with your wife at this late date,” she writes. “Because you feel the need to talk about this, do it with your spiritual adviser.”
Obviously, this man is suffering from some nasty guilt over his past same-sex experiences.
Though we wish Abby had pointed out that people are never formerly bisexual–once a queer, always a queer, as they say–her empathy shines through. The guy definitely needs some counseling.
That said, we can’t help but wonder: why, exactly, is this so bothersome to “Different Person” now? Could he be feeling lonely and craving some experimentation now?
Related: Read the horrible advice Billy Graham gave to a gay youth
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