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Take It From a Middle School Teacher, Trump's a Bully
Like many Americans, I couldn’t help but be disgusted by Donald Trump’s misogyny during Thursday night’s Republican debate. But as much as I was disgusted by Trump, I was even more so by the audience. I wondered out loud on social media about everyone that laughed with Trump after he referred to Rosie O’Donnell and other women as “fat pigs, dogs, slobs, (and) disgusting animals.” Would they have done the same, I wondered, if it had been their daughter, mother, or wife? Would they be cheering then?
I was revolted then, and I remain so. Clearly I’m not alone, as many pundits have condemned Trump’s hateful speech. (Although watching other Republican nominee wannabes go out of their way to not call Trump out on his misogyny is its own special kind of horror).
But I was missing something; everyone is. And it took the observation of a Facebook friend who’s also worked with young adults to point it out to me. “Kids that bully are bad kids, but adults that bully are apparently funny.”
Trump is a bully.
As a former middle and high school teacher I’ve been on the front lines watching the inhumanity kids can inflict on one another. While there has been a concentrated effort to address bullying in schools, there is still a long way to go. It’s even worse for LGBTQ kids, although here, too, progress is being made.
Donald Trump is the opposite of progress because he is a bully – a textbook one, in fact.
According to Australia’s National Centre Against Bullying — and domestic resources will tell you the same — there are different types of bullying. One is verbal bullying, and Trump’s comments about Rosie O’Donnell Thursday night certainly fall into that category. Not that it’s the first time.
As many people have noted, Trump’s pattern is to insult or attack anyone that questions him. On Friday morning, when the Today show’s Savannah Guthrie asked him about his poor showing with a focus group, Trump attacked the man leading the group. Trump did the same on Twitter calling the leader, “a low class slob who came to my office looking for consulting work.”
Textbook bullying, says the NCAB, “includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks or verbal abuse.” Throw in Trump’s comments about Mexican immigrants last month, and he’s pretty much nailed it.
Not that Trump limits his bullying to the traditional playground style; he’s a 21st century bully. Again, from the NCAB: “Cyberbullying… Abusive or hurtful texts emails or posts, images or videos.”
Twitter is Trump’s favorite means of cyberbullying, where he once wrote of Hillary Clinton: “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?”
As a teacher it’s now easy for me to recognize that Trump is a bully, but I keep in mind it took another educator to remind me. I can allow that perhaps it’s hard for other people to see the bullying behavior as well.
After all, if you’re not Hispanic and happen to hate Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton, it might be easy to miss. Based on the crowd in Cleveland, lots of people even find it funny. Perhaps that’s why Trump’s support is as high as 40 percent in some polls.
Even from the outside, however, Trump manifests himself as a bully in many ways. According to EverydayHealth.com, many things mark Trump as a bully:
1) Behavioral Issues
According to D. Janell Dietz, EdD, “Being hot-headed, impulsive, or easily frustrated are three common behaviors that could indicate that a child is a bully.” Trump, whether it’s his insult wars with Rosie O’Donnell, Jeb Bush, and now apparently Megyn Kelly, typifies in some way all three of these behaviors.
2) Your Child Is Getting Into Trouble at School
Obviously, the Donald is not in trouble at school. But no matter where he goes, he seems to make a lot of people angry. If you Google “Donald Trump Feuds” there is page after page of stories about people he’s mad at. Be his disagreements “famous,” “notorious” or “public,” his behavior matches perfectly what Dr. Dietz calls “dominant or aggressive” acts.
By contrast, if you Google “Jeb Bush Feuds,” more than half of the first page of stories are about his feud with Trump — which Trump started.
3) Your Child Is Obsessed With Popularity
Trump has a history of this, easily demonstrated in the lies he tells about himself. He says 15,000 people came to his rally in Phoenix. Most people agree there weren’t even one-third that. He claimed numerous times that “The Celebrity Apprentice” was the most popular show on television. It was not, and never was.(13)
Trump is a bully, there is no question.
What remains unanswered, however, is why America is not only willing to put up with Trump, but endorse his behavior? Perhaps like Trump they see his actions and words and decide, “I don’t have time for total political correctness.“(14)
What Trump and his apologists describe as political correctness, however, the rest of us understand as decency. Again: How many of us would want the things Trump says to be uttered about our children? Our friends? Our parents? No one I know.
When I was the middle school advisor to the Gay Straight Alliance, I often confronted bullies about their behavior towards my LGBTQ kids. Often they’d try to excuse their behavior as being an effective way to get what they wanted, usually the diminution of their victim. Many claimed they don’t know better — and that one I believe. Bullies aren’t born, they’re created by the world around them.
I suppose one could say the same for Trump. In the rough and tumble world of business, perhaps the way he behaves is necessary for him to be the billionaire he is. I wouldn’t know; I’ve never been part of that world. My interests are much more definitely Main Street than Wall Street.
What I do know however, is this: Whatever street Mr. Trump comes from, he should stay there. Pennsylvania Avenue is no place for a bully.
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