Is The Struggle Of The Straight-Acting Gay Man Really A Thing?



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Is The Struggle Of The Straight-Acting Gay Man Really A Thing?

Are you a gay guy who feels like he doesn’t “fit in” with other gay guys?

Do you find society expects you to act a certain way, then gives you shit when you don’t make the mark?

Is the struggle of the “masculine gay man” really a thing, or does it simply reflect the limitations our internalized gender roles?

To these guys on Whisper, it’s definitely a thing.

We’re not so sure about some of them, though:

I feel bad that I find  other gay guys annoying.  I'm very much into "straight" hobbies and  don't want to change,  but I still want to  find love.

Because Im gay, I get asked if I want to do flamboyant things like dress as a girl. It bothers me that people fail to realize that not all gays are that way. Ignorance makes the world blind to reality

As a gay man I feel as if  I'm forced to be the stereotypical gay  person that pop  culture continues to  put on display. But  that's just not who I  am or want to be.

It's VERY difficult trying not to be like the stereotypical gay man when it comes to sex. Holding out for Mr. Right when experience increases the belief he may just be fairy tale

I know a bunch of other  gay guys who would love  to be the "I didn't even know he was gay. He's so  manly!" type. Trust me,  it's not that great, I feel very confused about  what I like and how I can relate to the community.

Just because I'm gay, doesn't make me a stereotypical "gay guy". I like guy stuff too. Why do some people not understand this?

Straight guys say they  are comfortable "experimenting" with  me because I don't act  like the "gay" stereotype but it never goes past  sex. It gets lonely sometimes.

I'm scared I'll never find  a boyfriend because I'm  not into partying or stereotypical gay guy activities. I'd rather  just stay home so I  never meet people.

It's so hard to be a masculine gay man nowadays. I came out  two years ago but it seems like no one believes it. Girls still try to  get with me

I'm too gay for straight people and too straight  for gay people. Truth is  I'm not even bi, I'm gay. I don't know where I belong so I don't have many  people I can talk to

I'm gay but I feel weird  being around other gay  guys because I don't really belong. My interests are not stereotypically gay  and guys tell me I act "too straight". I can't figure  it out

I hate having arguments with random girls about being gay. I understand  that I'm masculine and  have the bad fashion  sense of the average straight man but I'm not saying I'm gay to blow  you off. I like men.

Being a butch gay male makes me feel depressed.  I don't fit in with the culture. I get along fine with straight men but not with women. I can't win

Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay. I don't fit in with my own kind & feel like an outcast sometimes.

Dan Tracer

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