Reality star Colton Underwood opens out his struggles with his sexuality

Reality star Colton Underwood opens out his struggles with his sexuality

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Reality star Colton Underwood is opening up about the struggles he faced as a teenager and young adult with understanding his sexuality.

In his new book “The First Time,” out later this month, the Bachelor star reveals that he “thought he was gay” after being bullied for years.

In an interview with People, the 28-year-old, who recently tested positive for COVID-19 and is currently in quarantine, says he grew up in a small town in Illinois where “I was called fatso, four eyes and four lips, because I used to lick my lips, so I would constantly have a red ring around them.”

“I was a little heavy, and that, combined with being socially awkward, led to a really hard time. I didn’t believe in myself. And I was super insecure.”

By high school, many of his peers began telling him he was gay because he chose to abstain from sex.

“It was one of those things where you hear something so often, you start believing it,” Underwood says. “I thought, maybe I am gay. The captain of the football team should be having sex and drinking, right? But I wasn’t.”

He continues, “I didn’t know who I was. And I come from an athletic family, so it was always, ‘Move on, you’re good.’ So that threw me off. In high school, when I was struggling with my sexuality, I’m not going to talk to my parents about it. So I internalized it.”

As it turned out, Underwood eventually realized that everyone was wrong and, actually, he wasn’t gay. But the rumors still persisted.

“Even while my season was airing, I battled the gay [rumors],” he recalls. “They’d say, ‘he’s gay, he’s hiding it.’ No. But I’ve been there, done that now.”

The season ended with Underwood picking Cassie Randolph to be his one and only and the two are still going strong.

“I want my life to be with Cassie,” Underwood says. “I know who I am. And that’s really all that matters.”

Related: It gets better… Or does it? Study finds anti-bullying catch phrase may do more harm than good

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Chechen Leader Ramzan Kadyrov: People with COVID-19 Who Don’t Self-Quarantine ‘Should Be Killed’

Chechen Leader Ramzan Kadyrov: People with COVID-19 Who Don’t Self-Quarantine ‘Should Be Killed’

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Ramzon Kadyrov, the leader of the southern Russian republic of Chechnya behind the the systematic detention, torture, and killing of gay men, has called for people with COVID-19 who don’t self-quarantine and spread the disease to be killed.

Said Kadyrov, according to the Kavkazsky Uzel media outlet: “The person who creates himself and created this problem, if you ask me, should be killed. Not only he gets sick, [but also infects] his family, his sisters, brothers, neighbors.”

Business Insider reports: “The threat — reported by a Chechen television journalist after a private meeting with the close political ally of Russian Vladimir Putin — was immediately taken as credible in Russian media circles because of Kadyrov’s long history of crushing political dissent, and allegedly murdering people who displease him since he took near-total control of the region in 2005. Chechnya is a semi-autonomous republic within Russia’s sphere of control.”

The post Chechen Leader Ramzan Kadyrov: People with COVID-19 Who Don’t Self-Quarantine ‘Should Be Killed’ appeared first on Towleroad Gay News.


Chechen Leader Ramzan Kadyrov: People with COVID-19 Who Don’t Self-Quarantine ‘Should Be Killed’

Antigay Liberty University to students: “Don’t worry about coronavirus! C’mon back to school!”

Antigay Liberty University to students: “Don’t worry about coronavirus! C’mon back to school!”

Coronavirus? What coronavirus?

That seems to be the attitude of Liberty University, helmed by Trump surrogate/antigay activist Jerry Falwell Jr. The school announced this week that it’s reopening its doors amid a worsening coronavirus pandemic.

5,000 of the school’s 15,000 students are now being welcomed back to campus just days after Virginia’s governor, Ralph Northam, ordered all state schools shut down for the remainder of the academic year.

Related: This flirty Instagram post between Jerry Falwell Jr. and his ‘personal trainer’ is probably nothing

“While some colleges basically threw their hands up and just shut down and left the problem for somebody else to deal with, Liberty’s executive staff rolled their sleeves up,” Falwell said in a statement this week.

Falwell and school officials determined that they wouldn’t follow the trend of other schools by shutting down in an effort to flatten to curve. Instead, they’d open campus back up!

Classes will remain online, but dorms, dining halls, computer labs, fitness centers, gyms, and all social gathering areas are open for use. Large school events are paused for two weeks, after which officials will reevaluate whether to start having them again.

“Our thinking was, ‘Let’s get them back as soon as we can–the ones who want to come back,” Falwell said.

Related: Antigay activist Jerry Falwell Jr. embroiled in x-rated photos scandal

As of yesterday, roughly 1,900 students have returned to campus. The school promises “cleaning crews have been ramping up their work, cleaning oft-touched surfaces every hour” and it says signs reminding students to follow social distancing guidelines have been posted all around campus.

Falwell says be believes Liberty University staff deserve “a medal of honor” for how well they’re handling the coronavirus pandemic.

“I’d give every one of them one for their incredible work and how creative they are,” he said. “I don’t think there’s another university in the country that has a staff as good as ours.”

He added, “We think Liberty’s practices will become the model for all colleges to follow in the fall, if coronavirus is still an issue.”

Related: Jerry Falwell Jr. plays while gay students suffer under his university’s conversion “therapy”

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Ryan Murphy Donates Medical Props from ‘Pose’ to Mount Sinai Hospital

Ryan Murphy Donates Medical Props from ‘Pose’ to Mount Sinai Hospital

Pose co-creator Ryan Murphy has donated medical props from the FX show, which were used in scenes related to the AIDS epidemic, to Mount Sinai Hospital for use in the COVID-19 response.

Wrote Murphy on Instagram: “On my FX series POSE, one of our regular sets and locations is a hospital where in season 3 (spoiler) Blanca works as an AIDS/hiv counselor. Today we donated all our prop supplies to Mount Sinai hospital to help nurses and doctors battling the Covid outbreak. Let’s all keep giving when and where and how we can. More to come…”

The post Ryan Murphy Donates Medical Props from ‘Pose’ to Mount Sinai Hospital appeared first on Towleroad Gay News.


Ryan Murphy Donates Medical Props from ‘Pose’ to Mount Sinai Hospital

Catching up with ‘Little Fires Everywhere’ showrunner and executive producer Liz Tigelaar

Catching up with ‘Little Fires Everywhere’ showrunner and executive producer Liz Tigelaar

Liz Tigelaar and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere

Hulu/Little Fires Everywhere

Liz Tigelaar is the bisexual showrunner and executive producer of the new Hulu limited series Little Fires Everywhere, starring and co-executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington, which is based on the best selling novel by Celeste Ng. The show debuted its first three episodes last week, with a new episode dropping every Wednesday going forward.

Best known for creating the critically acclaimed drama series Life Unexpected, which aired on the CW for two seasons, Tigelaar got her writing start on NBC’s groundbreaking drama American Dreams. She went on to write and produce such series as ABC’s What About Brian, Dirty Sexy Money, Brothers and Sisters, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Nashville and Astronaut Wives Club, along with A&E’s Bates Motel. Tigelaar most recently served as showrunner and executive producer of the Hulu Golden Globe-nominated comedy Casual, created by Zander Lehmann and executive produced by Jason Reitman.

Tigelaar grew up in Dallas, Texas, and Guilford, Connecticut, and graduated from Ithaca College with a degree in Scriptwriting and Politics. She got her start as an assistant on Dawson’s Creek, followed by Once and Again, where she was mentored by one of her writing idols, Winnie Holzman. (creator of My So-Called Life and book writer for the musical Wicked)

GLAAD caught up with Tigelaar to get her queer take on the series and to find out what it was like to work closely alongside Washington and Witherspoon, as well as what creative changes she felt were necessary in order to convert the book to television.

Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere

WHAT ABOUT CELESTE NG’S BEST-SELLING BOOK INSPIRED YOU TO WANT TO TURN IT INTO THIS TV SERIES FOR HULU?

I was approached by Lauren Neustadter from Hello Sunshine (Reese’s production company), who asked me if I wanted to turn the book into a series. She told me Reese and Kerry were attached to star in it and asked me to read the book by Celeste, which she was completely in love with. I read it in a night and fell in love with it, too. I found myself with so many points of connectivity to it – there was no question I was doing it. We pitched it to multiple places, and Hulu – who I have a long relationship with – emerged as the frontrunner… and I was thrilled.

REESE WITHERSPOON AND KERRY WASHINGTON ARE BOTH CO-EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS WITH YOU ON THE SHOW – WHAT WAS THE CREATIVE PROCESS LIKE FOR ALL OF YOU WORKING TOGETHER?

It was incredible. They supported me from the start and put a lot of trust in me – everything from breaking the pilot, to assembling the room, to having a vision for the series. And then on top of that, their contributions were enormous – starting with dissecting the scripts, their characters, their relationships to each other and to the other characters. They each had their own deep connections to the story and they were able to use what the writers and I crafted as a starting point to further discuss each scene and mine every moment for even more specificity, infusing their life experiences into them. And then once we were on set, it was a whole other level of collaboration and discovery together… and, of course, in post as well. I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life and I loved being witness to their process, how they thought about each scene, how they approached our collaboration. It was incredible, and I came out of working with them admiring them both even more than when I started.

Kerry Washington and Lexi Underwood in Little Fires Everywhere

WAS THERE A CHANGE FROM THE BOOK THAT YOU FELT PASSIONATE ABOUT MAKING?

There were a few changes that felt vital. First, with Kerry being cast, it meant that Mia was black and that changed the lens through which the story was told. Certain moments – like Elena (Witherspoon) offering her a job as a maid or Lexie turning to Mia (Washington) in a crisis after how she treated Pearl – would take on a different meaning, as would how Mia interacted with the Richardson family and even how she mothered her own daughter. I also felt passionate about having Izzy (one of Witherspoon’s character’s children, played by Megan Stott) be a character who was grappling with her sexuality – and sexual orientation – in this repressed, constricting environment and time period. The book is so intersectional and inclusive and I felt like an LGBTQ character was missing – and maybe it was my own projecting or identifying with that character so strongly, but it felt so natural for Izzy. And lastly, I wanted to have a more unexpected ending – an ending that wasn’t announced on page 1 of the book.

WHAT CAN YOU SHARE WITH US ABOUT THE QUEER SENSIBILITIES BEHIND THIS SHOW?

I, myself, am a bisexual woman. I didn’t grow up in a family like Izzy’s and it’s also not something that I grappled with in my teens. It’s something I came to really naturally through loving the people I loved – most of all, my wife Alison. But I certainly know people raised in those environments – be it in families or towns – who endured tremendous pain, especially in the late 90s/early 2000s. Those people would have killed to hear phrases like “I love you anyway” or “I love you, no matter what” – but today, we can see the subtext of those phrases and how hurtful they are in their own right.

Megan Stott and Reese Witherspoon in Little Fires Everywhere

HOW DO YOU BELIEVE LGBTQ AUDIENCES MIGHT REACT DIFFERENTLY TO THE SERIES?

I hope they’ll like and appreciate this change from the book. I hope it will mean something to see representation on-screen – told through the lens of a 14-year-old girl. I know people have come up to me, telling me stories of their own struggle to come out and the loss of family because of it, and it’s touched them to see a version of their story. But more than that, I think anyone who has bumped up against who they are and who their family has wanted them to be will identify with Izzy – and that story is universal, I think.

COULD YOU SHARE A BIT ABOUT HOW RACE, CLASS, AND PRIVILEGE PLAY A ROLE IN THE NARRATIVE’S POWER DYNAMICS?

That’s the heartbeat of this story – everything happens through the lens of race, class, and privilege. In every moment we can, we are looking to explore those themes. Two sequences stand out to me. In 103, we open on Bebe and see her deep in a struggle to care for her daughter and herself. We see her in a freezing apartment with no heat. We see her unable to breastfeed because her daughter can’t latch on. We see her struggling to afford formula and being short seventy cents – and what not having that seventy cents means for her. And then at the end of that same episode, we see Izzy getting on the bus, being seventy cents short, and given a pass of “don’t worry about it.” This, of course, speaks to race, class, and privilege. And there’s a similar juxtaposition we have between that Bebe (Lu Huang) montage with May Ling and a later scene with Elena and newborn Izzy, and we see that while both their lows are their lowest points, their lows are still incredibly different because of race, class, and privilege.

Kerry Washington and Lu Huang in Little Fires Everywhere

AS A MOTHER YOURSELF, WHAT WAS THE PROCESS LIKE OF WRITING ABOUT MOTHERHOOD?

One of our writers, Nancy Won, said it so well. It felt so important to write a story about mothers being mothers. Not mothers who are also superheroes. Or mothers who are cutting edge brain surgeons. Or spies. Or Supreme Court justices. Or whatever else you THINK you need to add on to mothers to make their stories more interesting. The story of motherhood is worthy and interesting and compelling in and of itself. And to have the opportunity to tell the story of four complex, very different mothers was incredible. There is no one way to mother and there is no one story about mothers. And it was therapeutic to be in a room of mothers, on set surrounded by mothers, and to be making a show with mothers about our experience. Motherhood is joyful and challenging and heartbreaking and breathtaking – and to be writing about it in the midst of doing it was such a gift. So much of motherhood is having to care, with every fiber of your being, while simultaneously being asked to let go, little by little, more and more. I actually don’t know how mothers who aren’t writing about it deal with all their emotions around it!

AFTER PUTTING “LITTLE FIRES EVERYWHERE” AND “THE MORNING SHOW” (TIGELAAR IS A CO-EXECUTIVE PRODUCER) OUT IN THE UNIVERSE IN JUST THE PAST FEW MONTHS, WHAT COMES NEXT FOR YOU IN YOUR CAREER?

I’m developing one of my all-time favorite books, Summer Sisters, by Judy Blume, as a potential limited series for Hulu. I’ve loved the book since I first read it over twenty years ago and actually wrote Judy a letter back then, asking to adapt it. So this is a dream come true. Little Fires Everywhere set the bar high for me. I want to be deeply connected to every project I do from here on out, and I want to have fun doing it, with people I love.

March 25, 2020

www.glaad.org/blog/catching-little-fires-everywhere-showrunner-liz-tigelaar