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What I’ve Learned From Being a Gay Dad
The desire to parent is universal, just ask the penguins.
www.advocate.com/commentary/2019/10/30/what-ive-learned-being-gay-dad
Raif Derrazi responded to his HIV diagnosis by hitting the gym, hard
“I’m sorry to objectify you,” I said sheepishly to bodybuilder Raif Derrazi. For our videotaped interview, Raif was naked down to the nether regions of his sculpted abs, at my request.
“Not at all!” Raif happily responded. “There’s a time and place for everything, and this is it.”
Raif’s sunny disposition is disarming because as an aging queen who used to be All That, I was ready to resent him terribly. Alas, that is quite impossible. He is aware of his allure – he owns a mirror, after all – but he handles the trappings of hotness with humble aplomb.
Raif is also living with HIV, for seven years now, and he responded to his diagnosis in a fascinating way. He took his “not skinny, not overweight, just average” body and transformed it into a competition-level work of bodybuilding art. He did it as an act of reclaiming his body.
Watch our quick conversation below, taped at the hotel gym during the 2019 United States Conference on AIDS (USCA).
See more Raif Derrazi:
View this post on InstagramToday is National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Well here you go! Be aware that I can live and be healthy like this with #HIV #AIDS . Bench press was the 3rd or 4th exercise I did for this chest day workout. Notice that I’m allowing the bar to come all the way down until it touches my chest for full range of motion. And the bar is right at about the nipple line…too much higher and the shoulders will start doing more of the work. I’m also pushing the bar all the way up until my arms are straight. 10-12 reps is solid for an emphasis on muscle growth! . Quit making excuses and get after it ??? . #NGMHAAD #HIVbodybuilder
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View this post on InstagramI’m embarrassed these two can run faster than I can ?? . I’m in the final two weeks before I hit the stage in Muscle Beach, Venice for my first natural, pro men’s physique bodybuilding competition @inbapnbaglobal_official I’m still not 100% certain it’ll happen…but I’m gonna keep training, dieting and practicing posing as though it is. . This prep has been tough. Life has been tough. My mental state has been rough. But I’ve shared the journey with you all here and in my daily vlogs and I’m so glad that I have/am. . Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. I wanna make y’all proud. Win or lose. Trying my very best to take moments and just enjoy the journey from here on out ?? . #HIVbodybuilder #contestprep #TeamFortitude
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View this post on InstagramThrowback to literally having the TIME OF MY LIFE standing on top of the @aidshealthcare bus, dancing to the music our DJ was spinning in the back and hyping up hundreds of thousands of people lined up along the streets. . Having ‘Living w/ HIV’ scrawled on my chest, being fully myself, on display and being loved and accepted and cheered for is a feeling I can’t describe. . Once I let go of FEAR of JUDGEMENT…FREEDOM took its place. In a way it’s easier for me to do big grand gestures that are courageous and brave. But it’s harder to sustain that bravery and fearlessness in the smaller day-to-day moments and THAT is where I believe it counts in the long run. So it’s my constant mission to push myself every day (in all the small, quiet moments), let go of that fear, be myself, allow freedom, creativity and inspiration to flow. And I SO MUCH wish that for you too. . #tbt #worldpride #freedom
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Follow Raif Derrazi on Instagram and on Twitter, and be sure to check out his engaging and informative YouTube channel.
Mark S. King is a Queerty contributor and writes the GLAAD-award-nominated blog, My Fabulous Disease.
Half a Billion on Halloween Pet Costumes is Latest Sign of America’s Out-of-Control Consumerism
Halloween spending is out of control.
Americans are expected to spend US$8.8 billion on candy, costumes and decorations this year – or $86 for every person who plans to celebrate. That includes a half a billion dollars on costumes that Americans are buying for their pets, which is double the amount they spent a decade ago. Pumpkins and hot dogs are the favorites.
How did a holiday that began as a way to honor the dead morph into just another ritual of over-the-top American consumption? As a relatively frugal person who has reused the same Halloween costumes for years, I found the $86 figure shocking. But I’m hardly the first economist to moan about out-of-control consumerism.
Halloween started as a Celtic holiday honoring the dead.
It was then adopted by the Catholic Church as a time to remember saints. One research paper described Halloween as an “evolving American consumption ritual,” but a better description might be an over-the-top spending ritual.
To put the $8.8 billion being spent on Halloween in context, the budget for the entire National Park Service is only $4 billion. The U.S. spends less than $2 billion on flu vaccines.
The $86 average may not give us an accurate look at per-person spending. Only about two-thirds of respondents to the National Retail Federation’s annual survey of Halloween spending said they were celebrating the holiday. And while some spend nothing, others go overboard.
As just one example, the Palo Alto neighborhood where Silicon Valley’s tech stars live is a sight to behold as local moguls try to outdo each other on Halloween decorations, candy and bands.
In the late 1890s, an economist named Thorstein Veblen looked at spending in society and wrote an influential book called “The Theory of the Leisure Class,” which explained reasons why people spend. It laid out the idea that some goods and services are bought simply for conspicuous consumption.
Conspicuous consumption is designed to show others you are rich, smart or important. In Veblen’s mind, conspicuous consumption was spending more money on items than they are really worth. Veblen pointed out that people buy homes with rooms that are rarely used, just to show off the owner’s wealth.
If Veblen were writing about the world today, he would probably not focus on real estate. Instead, he might be using examples of people trying to attract attention on Instagram by dressing their pets in expensive costumes.
Understanding how much people spend on holidays like Halloween and other activities is important because this shows what society values. And apparently, we value what others can see us consume.
[ Like what you’ve read? Want more? Sign up for The Conversation’s daily newsletter. ]
Jay L. Zagorsky, Senior Lecturer, Questrom School of Business, Boston University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
The post Half a Billion on Halloween Pet Costumes is Latest Sign of America’s Out-of-Control Consumerism appeared first on Towleroad Gay News.
Half a Billion on Halloween Pet Costumes is Latest Sign of America’s Out-of-Control Consumerism
#AM_Equality Tipsheet: October 30, 2019
HRC PRESIDENT ALPHONSO DAVID TO CONGRESS — ANTI-LGBTQ HOUSING DISCRIMINATION IS “MORALLY BANKRUPT”: David testified in a hearing yesterday before the House Financial Committee’s Oversight and Investigations Subcommittee on anti-LGBTQ discrimination in housing and lending. “No one should be turned away from an apartment, kicked out of their home or sent back to the street simply because of who they are or whom they love,” said HRC President Alphoso David (@AlphonsoDavid). “LGBTQ people and our families demand fair and equal access to housing opportunities.” More from Washington Blade, Michigan Advance and HRC.
LGBTQ people, particularly communities of color, shoulder the weight of discrimination at astronomical rates. Grateful to all who testified alongside me on the dangers of housing & lending discrimination & the need for action — including Senate passage of the #EqualityAct.
— Alphonso David (@AlphonsoDavid) October 29, 2019
SPELMAN COLLEGE WILL BE FIRST HBCU TO CREATE QUEER STUDIES CHAIR WITH $2M DONATION: “Spelman College has long been at the forefront of LGBTQ inclusion and education among HBCUs,” the donor, Jon Stryker, president of the Arcus Foundation (@ArcusLGBT), which supports LGBTQ rights, told Forbes. “[T]he goal is to engage and empower the next generation of LGBTQ advocates to create a better world.” The chair will be named in honor of Black lesbian poet and activist Audre Lorde. More from Forbes and The Advocate.
WHAT WE’RE READING WEDNESDAY — LGBTQ VIRGINIANS NEED LEADERS WHO CHAMPION VIRGINIA VALUES: “Support for policies that protect LGBT people from discrimination crosses party lines and has been on the rise, not only across the nation, but also here in Virginia,” writes James Parrish, executive director at Equality Virginia Advocates (@EqualityVA). “We need elected leaders who will prioritize common-sense, bipartisan legislation to protect LGBT people.” More from Virginia Mercury.
COMMENTARY: “This General Assembly, we have a chance to do better. We need elected leaders who will prioritize common-sense, bipartisan legislation to protect LGBT people,” writes James Parrish, executive director at Equality Virginia Advocates. t.co/hdeu1UOuik
— The Virginia Mercury (@MercuryVirginia) October 29, 2019
PEDIATRICIANS ARE THE FIRST LINE OF CARE FOR TRANSGENDER AND GENDER NON-CONFORMING CHILDREN AND TEENS: More from Contemporary Pediatrics.
ALARMING REPORT FINDS THAT ADOLESCENT SUICIDE RATES UP 87% IN LAST DECADE — HIGHEST RATES AMONG LGBTQ AND NATIVE TEENS: More from PR Newswire.
UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND CENTER AWARDED GRANT TO RESEARCH CHALLENGES FACING LGBTQ PEOPLE SEEKING MENTAL HEALTH CARE: The university’s Prevention Research Center aims to expand training for health care workers and conduct a nationwide survey to better understand the challenges facing LGBTQ people when seeking mental health care. More from The Diamondback.
GET CULTURED – Entertainment, arts and sports news!
THEBABYISBORN — RICKY MARTIN AND HUSBAND JWAN YOSEF WELCOME IN THE FOURTH CHILD TO THEIR GROWING FAMILY: While attending the HRC National Dinner last month with his family, Martin announced that he and Yosef were expecting another child. More Joelle Goldstein (@joelleg0ldstein) from Entertainment Weekly.
SOCCER STAR MEGAN RAPINOE (@MPINOE), FILMMAKER JOHN WATERS AMONG THE NEW FACES OF NIKE: We wonder if they’ll be releasing a limited-edition pair of cha-cha heels? More from Washington Blade.
GLOBAL EQUALITY NEWS
LONDON TO HOLD FIRST MUSLIM PRIDE TO CELEBRATE LGBTQ COMMUNITY: “[The pride festival] is going to help the next generation to know it’s okay for them to be LGBTQ and also be Muslim,” said a representative from Imaan, an organization working to support LGBTQ Muslims. More from the Evening Standard.
INDIA START-UP TRAINS AND PROVIDES ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITY FOR THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY: PeriFerry has trained over 250 people from the trans community and placed over 90 people in software, HR, bank and hospitality jobs. More from The Better India.
TRANSGENDER WOMAN FROM EL SALVADOR RECALLS INHUMANE CONDITIONS IN ICE DETENTION CENTER: The Phoenix New Times’ Hannah Critchfield (@HannahCritch) shares the story of Britany, one of the many migrants seeking refuge in the U.S. More from the Phoenix New Times.
READING RAINBOW – Bookmark now to read on your lunch break!
Out shares powerful portraits of trans elders embodying survival
Have news? Send us your news and tips at [email protected]. Click here to subscribe to #AM_Equality and follow @HRC for all the latest news. Thanks for reading!
www.hrc.org/blog/am-equality-tipsheet-october-30-2019?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed
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Karamo Brown says he’s “proud” of his “friend” Sean Spicer
Queer Eye star Karamo Brown and dance partner Jenna Johnson were sadly eliminated out of Dancing With The Stars on Monday evening.
Talking to reporters afterward, Brown returned to a topic over which he faced criticism early on in the season: his friendship with former White House staffer Sean Spicer.
Spicer was press secretary for President Donald Trump for seven months from the time he took office in January 2017. Since resigning, Spicer has written a memoir of his time in the role, in which he praised Trump. He has not expressed regret or discomfort over any of Trump’s anti-LGBTQ actions since taking office.
Related: Karamo Brown from “Queer Eye” thinks Trump’s lying former press secretary is “nice” & “very sweet”
People reports Brown telling reporters after his elimination that he’d been working on Spicer.
“My goal coming into this was to introduce myself to people who have never seen Queer Eye, to let them know who I am. And also, my goal has always been to show how if you can show kindness and lead with love, things can change.
Acknowledging the criticism he received for saying he was looking forward to competing alongside Spicer when the season got underway, Brown said, “Day one I got backlash [for supporting him]. I started this show with people telling me, ‘You’re horrible, you’re crazy, you’re stupid.’ Because I showed someone who has a different political view than mine kindness.”
The backlash was so extreme that Brown temporarily stepped away from social media. He says that as the show has gone on, he and Spicer have become friends – despite their political differences. He says he has pointed out to Spicer how thing he has said has hurt Brown, both as a gay man and person of color.
“Through this process, Sean’s trailer has been next to mine and I have literally every day been planting seeds in his heart.
“And literally, I could see each week those seeds … blossoming and that’s why [when I was sent home] he got emotional.
“Sean is literally someone who I would’ve never thought I could be friends with, and I’m going to walk away from here calling him a friend.
“I don’t think Sean’s going to make it to the end [of the competition], but I’m proud of him. I really am proud of him, because he’s had fun every week and I think he’s exceptional.”
Related: Karamo Brown blocks LGBTQ followers, deletes Twitter account after complimenting Sean Spicer
Spicer told People that he’d become “close” to Brown throughout their time together on the show.
“I think that it’s been great getting to know [Brown], getting to discuss things with him. And so it’s tough to watch somebody that you’ve really got close to go home when you know how hard they’ve worked and how much progress they’ve made.”
Spicer is one of seven celebrity contestants remaining on this season of Dancing with the Stars.
Reese Witherspoon Proves She’s a Scream Queen in a Hilarious Game of ‘Can You Feel It?’ — WATCH
Reese Witherspoon screwed with Jimmy Fallon’s head (and Yoda’s) in a hilarious game of “Can You Feel It?” on The Tonight Show. Watch as The Morning Show actress and Fallon touch gourds, dentures, melted Snickers bars, spiders, and the Jedi master.
The post Reese Witherspoon Proves She’s a Scream Queen in a Hilarious Game of ‘Can You Feel It?’ — WATCH appeared first on Towleroad Gay News.
Reese Witherspoon Proves She’s a Scream Queen in a Hilarious Game of ‘Can You Feel It?’ — WATCH
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