5 reasons why Christian nutjobs blame gays for hurricanes

Hurricane Dorian, a Category 5 hurricane with wind speeds around 185 to 220 miles per hour, has already hit the Bahamas and is expected to possibly hit Florida as early as Monday evening — it could also hit Georgia and the Carolinas. Regardless, if it hits the U.S. at all, the gays will be blamed for it.

In all seriousness, Dorian could cause flash floods with 12 to 30 inches of rain. Authorities on the east coast have warned people to avoid sailing in the Atlantic Ocean and some Florida airports are already closed. Authorities have also told residents in Dorian’s path to store enough food, water and gas to last at least a week and to prepare to possibly be without power for several days or longer.

The governors of Georgia and South Carolina have ordered more than a million people to evacuate  — a U.S. government website has advice for those who need preparation advice; additional advice is also here and here.

Related: Now the right is claiming Hurricane Michael was created by Democrats to revenge Kavanaugh

That being said, you just know some conservative or evangelical dillhole is gonna turn around and blame teh gayz for ticking off God so much that she had no choice but to send a hurricane to punish everyone for our love of drag queens, gay cartoon rats marrying each other, the “transgenderds,” glitter eyeshadow and butt stuff.

How do we know this is going to happen? Because it has happened numerous times before.

In 2005, Texas megachurch pastor John Hagee blamed Hurricane Katrina on the fact that New Orleans tolerates sinful gays.

In 2012, pastor John McTernan blamed Hurricane Sandy on Disney Gay Days and Southern Decadence in New Orleans (which just happened by the way, so maybe God saves hurricanes for big gay events).

In 2017, she-hag Ann Coulter said Houston electing a lesbian mayor was a more likely cause of Hurricane Harvey than climate change. That same year, the cro-magnon Benham Brothers blamed Hurricane Irma on gay marriage and trans people.

Naturally, these people are bonkers and would rather peddle their stupidly hateful thoughts on the divine and meteorology rather than doing something to actually help hurricane victims.

Here are five reasons whack-job Christians blame queers for hurricanes:

1. It fits with their view of an angry Old Testament God who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for being too gay (even though the cities were actually destroyed for being wicked and inhospitable to visitors).

2. It allows them to align their own hateful views as “holy and religious” (making them feel like they have a powerful connection to the divine) and to delight in their own perverse desire to see violence rain down on queer people, our allies and a society that accepts us. Ever notice how God’s biases always seem to match that of the haters?

3. It lets so-called Christians to paint queer people as antithetical to God. As such, they can ignore any criticisms we queers have about how the Christian church could be more just, loving and socially progressive. After all, why should any true believer listen to us God-hating queer sinners? Now they can just ignore or hate us no matter what we do because our very being is wicked at heart.

4. It provides a strange hope to people with anti-LGBTQ bias that they are not the problem, society is. In a culture where LGBTQ acceptance is increasingly the norm, those who fear queers can take solace in the idea that God actually wants to rid the world of us weirdos. Heck, God cleansed the world of evil with Noah and the Great Flood. Perhaps God will do it again and true believers will live in a righteous world afterwards… even if billions have to die in the process.

5. It gives cover to other “Christians” to act violently against queer people. After all, if God hates us so much that she’s willing to destroy the righteous and the wicked in a category 5 hurricane, then God would probably approve of her followers wiping us off the face of the Earth, too, right? Now go grab that baseball bat or gun and go do God’s good work — who knows? You might even kill enough of us to stop the next hurricane.

The only hurricane you can actually blame the gays for is Hurricane Bianca — several gay men helped create that.

www.queerty.com/5-reasons-christian-nutjobs-blame-gays-hurricanes-20190902?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29

Gay Redditor wonders if he’s the only one not into straight guys

Are straight guys “the holy grail” of hookups for gay men? Why should they be so lust-worthy? These are the questions rolling around in the mind of one gay Redditor who says he doesn’t understand the fixation.

“Post after post here and on gay meme pages/songs/etc all I hear is fantasies about hooking up with straight guys,” he wrote. “My gay friends IRL always talk about hooking up with straight guys as the holy grail, and straight-acting bisexual guys as the next best thing.”

“Am I the only one who isn’t turned on by this at all?” he asked his fellow r/askgaybros Reddit users. “I can’t imagine being with a guy like this. I want someone to be into my body, my hard d*ck, my beard, my deep voice, my masculine energy… just everything.”

Related: Can gay guys make gay friends while in a relationship? Redditors say…

One user responded: “I always say, you can be attracted to a straight guy. Because he’s a guy. But if him being straight is what’s attracting you, just don’t. Never saw the attraction honestly. Is it because it’s supposedly not their( the straight guy) thing but they let them?”

Another Redditor offered a theory: “I don’t think it’s, ‘Wow, I want to f*ck around with someone who has no interest in me and can’t get it up’ but rather the extremely unlikely fantasy of ‘He will take one look at my incredible manliness, realize what he’s been missing all his life, and turn into the most insane cock worshipper ever.’”

The conversation also touched a nerve for a Reddit user who pointed out the femmephobia in the gay population. “I think part of what isn’t clicking for you is because you’re a masculine top dude,” he told the original poster. “Like you said, you are looking for someone who will be wholeheartedly attracted to your masculine manly qualities, which gay men can happily fulfill for you.”

Related: Is it time to ditch ‘masc’ and ‘femme’ labels once and for all?

“For femme bottoms, we are less likely to get much attention or interest from masculine gay men (of which there are few to begin with),” the commenter continued. “Gay men like men. Muscles. Beards. Deep gruff voices. I don’t have those qualities. There are some gay men who are masculine and attracted to feminine guys, but it is a minority within a minority within a minority.

“Straight men are attracted to femininity. Soft features, feminine voice and mannerisms, submissive personalities. I have all of those qualities. Just like you want to be loved and embraced and lusted after for your authentic masculine self, I want to feel lusted after for my authentic feminine self. However, when the majority of gay men picture their dream guy, it is a sexy bearded lumberjack that does not look anything like me.

“Thus, I usually end up hooking up with bisexual men that look and behave like heterosexual men. They offer me everything I’m attracted to, and they are genuinely attracted to my femininity and don’t have to begrudgingly look past it. I can be myself, and someone I find sexy will find me sexy.”

Moral of the story? If we can’t dismantle the gay population’s masc4masc bias, we probably shouldn’t begrudge others their femme4masc desires.

www.queerty.com/gay-redditor-wonders-hes-one-not-straight-guys-20190902?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29