Gay men, please stop using the term “BBC,” It’s racist, blogger says

“Size generally matters in the gay meat market,” author Jeremy Helligar writes in a new op-ed at Honey9, “regardless of racial considerations, but the curiosity and expectations so often attached to dark meat raises the ick factor to a level of grotesque.”

Related: Is It True What They Say About Black Men?

Helligar is the author of the humorous travelogue Is It True What They Say About Black Men?, which examines how gay black men are viewed, and often objectified, in countries all around the world.

“Lately, though, I’ve noticed a shift, especially on Grindr,” Helligar writes. “Guys rarely ask me if it’s true what they say about black men anymore. That’s so 2011. Now they often send me messages that say, simply, ‘BBC’, or occasionally, ‘BBC?’–and not because they’re confusing me with the British broadcaster.”

BBC, for those of you know may not know, is internet shorthand for big black c*ck. And, in Helligar’s opinion, it’s kinda racist. Here’s why:

“It’s basically saying that as a black man, that is my primary value,” he says.

“I haven’t figured out if the gay white men who use it do so because it’s easier to write,” he continues, “or if it’s just too embarrassing to spell out ‘big black blank.’ Whatever the reason, the implication is the same: I’m no longer a three-dimensional person. I am my big black blank.”

Related: The “Black Men Are Bigger” Myth Just Got Debunked

As a result of constantly being asked about his BBC, which Helligar says has quickly become “the new bane of my gay existence,” it’s opened his eyes to another problem in our society: the crap women have to put up with when it comes to being objectified.

“Would you want your sister to get involved with a guy who refers to her as ‘BB’ for ‘big breasts’?” he asks. “The sad thing is, most women probably hear far worse on a regular basis. I sympathize. I empathize. I know how it feels.”

“I’m certain that I haven’t seen the last of ‘BBC,’” Helligar adds, adding that he’s sure “my protestations [over the term] will likely be met with shrugs.”

“In a world where a rich white man can be caught on tape boasting about sexually assaulting women and still be elected leader of the free world, no one’s going to get too worked up over a little ‘BBC’…except for the men it objectifies.”

“And ladies,” he concludes, “we feel your pain.”

Related: A Black Man Answers: “Are Black Men Really Bigger?”

www.queerty.com/gay-men-please-stop-using-term-bbc-racist-blogger-says-20170110?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29

Twins of a Gay Couple Born to Same Mother Are Not Brothers, Judge Rules

In a complex case where the law surmounted biology, an Italian judge ruled that twins born from the same mother are not brothers.

The ruling from an appeals court in Milan reversed an earlier determination that the boys, born from a surrogate in California via in vitro fertilization at the behest of a gay couple, could not be claimed by the men as their legal children. Since they each used separate semen samples, according to the ruling, each man could claim the corresponding boy as a child. But although this process made them fraternal twins, each sharing the same genetic mother, the ruling further specified that they could not be brothers in the eyes of the law.

Despite this confusing caveat, the couple—who have wished to remain anonymous in Italian media—welcomed the development that allowed them to confer their Italian citizenship upon the children, previously denied them in an earlier attempt to register their births with officials in Milan.

An organization that was helping the men in their court case did likewise:

Famiglie Arcobaleno, a nongovernmental organization advocating the rights of same-sex parents and their children, has hailed the court’s decision as a “positive step.” “It’s the first time that an Italian court has established that a child’s best interest comes before [the legality of] how he or she was born”, the NGO’s president, Marilena Grassadonia, told The Washington Post in a telephone interview. . . . . NGOs such as Famiglie Arcobaleno . . . are working to help gay couples find surrogates in countries “where the rights of surrogates are respected,” Grassadonia said. “California and Canada are our preferred destinations.”

While the same-sex nature of the boys’ parentage further complicated the matter, surrogacy remains a barely-accepted concept in Italian law, especially when third-party countries where exploitation is suspected are involved:

Surrogacy itself is stigmatized and referred to by the local media by the derogatory term “utero in affitto,” or “womb for rent.” Even after a child is born, there’s no guarantee that its best interests will be more important than adhering to the ban. Italian authorities have gone so far as to take children away from their parents. Three years ago, a court in Cremona, a town in northern Italy, took a toddler away from his parents, a straight married couple, after it was discovered he was born in Ukraine to a surrogate mother. Another child born in Ukraine via a surrogate was separated from his family in the town of Brescia and was declared “adoptable” by the country’s rough equivalent of the Supreme Court in 2014.

But the case further serves to highlight that Italy remains less progressive in the area of both same-sex marriage equality and parenthood than much of neighboring Europe. Limited civil partnerships still make no provision for adoption, which is why neither man can simply adopt the other man’s child. The curious nature of the court’s attention-grabbing ruling would ideally spur on legislation that could begin to acknowledge the reality on the ground of contemporary families.

Baby Twins by David Gerstein is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license via Wikimedia Commons.

The post Twins of a Gay Couple Born to Same Mother Are Not Brothers, Judge Rules appeared first on Towleroad.

Twins of a Gay Couple Born to Same Mother Are Not Brothers, Judge Rules

Guest Post: That time Attorney General nominee Sessions celebrated a homophobic singer

www.glaad.org/blog/guest-post-time-attorney-general-nominee-sessions-celebrated-homophobic-singer

13 Reasons You Should Be Single

www.advocate.com/love-and-sex/2017/1/10/13-reasons-you-should-be-single

Unprecedented: Sen. Cory Booker to Testify Against Sen. Jeff Sessions at Confirmation

Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) plans to testify against Attorney General nominee Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL) at today’s confirmation hearing, the first time in history a senator has testified against another sitting senator for a Cabinet post, according to CNN:

“I do not take lightly the decision to testify against a Senate colleague,” Booker said. “But the immense powers of the attorney general combined with the deeply troubling views of this nominee is a call to conscience.”

Sessions’ confirmation hearings, which begin Tuesday, are expected to raise additional questions on old allegations of racism from his past. When Sessions was a 39-year-old US attorney in Alabama, he was denied a federal judgeship because the Senate Judiciary Committee heard testimony during hearings in March and May 1986 that Sessions had made racist remarks and called the NAACP and ACLU “un-American.”

Booker called Sessions’ record “concerning in a number of ways,” citing his opposition to bipartisan criminal justice reform and immigration reform, criticism of the Voting Rights Act and his “failure to defend the civil rights of women, minorities, and LGBT Americans.”

If you need a reminder, Sessions has been a vocal opponent of marriage equality. He also grilled then Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan on her opposition to ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell during her senate confirmation hearings and said he would do crack cocaine at Sonia Sotomayor’s hearings. He also opposed the Matthew Shepard hate crimes act and supports the First Amendment Defense Act, the heinous bill that would allow businesses to cite religious beliefs as justification to discriminate against LGBT people. In 1996, as Alabama’s attorney general, Sessions fought tooth and nail to stop the Southeastern Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual College Conference from meeting at the University of Alabama but did not prevail.

Sessions’ confirmation hearing begins at 9:30 am. We’ll post a live stream.

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Unprecedented: Sen. Cory Booker to Testify Against Sen. Jeff Sessions at Confirmation

15 Reasons to Go to HustlaBall This Weekend

www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/2017/1/10/15-reasons-go-hustlaball-weekend