'Woke Christmas' Is the Holiday Parody You Need Right Now

Latina comic Carla Valderrama spruces up the holidays with progressive new lyrics to “White Christmas.”

www.advocate.com/comedy/2016/12/12/woke-christmas-holiday-parody-you-need-right-now

Twitter’s freaking over the newest holiday cup controversy, but not for the reason you think

This is the kind of holiday coffee cup controversy we can really get behind.

Forget Starbucks and the ever-escalating war on Christmas. Over at McDonald’s, some seemingly innocuous holiday cup art has been wildly altered with just a few pen strokes.

And once you see the results, you simply can’t unsee them.

Here’s the original:

Best type of event to start off the day! Joins us at #McDonalds on 90 West until 10am and get free #McCafe. #CoffeeWithACop #ImLovinIt pic.twitter.com/JLuhcKfLI6

— Lake City Police (@LCFlaPD) December 2, 2016

And because life simply wouldn’t be as fun if the world wasn’t filled with creative deviants, here’s the edited version:

Now how the hell are Starbucks cups in the news again and no one’s talking about a guy spreading his cheeks open on McDonald’s cups pic.twitter.com/QmIuZiDJst

— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) December 11, 2016

We can’t say for sure if the above Tweet was the original source of this holiday mishap, but it’s certainly a popular one. The photo has received over 22,000 likes and 14,000 shares in just two days.

And the Twitterverse is simply enamored:

McDonald’s daring homage to contemporary art. pic.twitter.com/wjNrAz9rI8

— Giovanni Tiso (@gtiso) December 11, 2016

When someone draws fingers on McDonald’s mittens and ‘spreading holiday cheer’ takes on entirely new meaning. Good God. pic.twitter.com/k9DZRiJabf

— Misty Harris (@popcultini) December 11, 2016

That’s all, folks.

www.queerty.com/twitters-freaking-newest-holiday-cup-controversy-not-reason-think-20161212?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29

Benghazi, Josh Earnest, McDonald’s, Whoopi Goldberg, Aleppo, Mars, Kelly Mantle: HOT LINKS

BENGHAZI. House committee quietly files its report and shuts down because its true purpose — derailing Hillary Clinton’s presidential bid — has already been achieved.

GLAMOUR SHOTS. This is what happens when you mix Terry Richardson, Kylie Jenner and a python.

BRIEFING ROOM SHADE. White Press Secretary Josh Earnest on Russian hacking: “You didn’t need a security clearance to figure out who benefited from malicious Russian cybersecurity.”

SPREAD ‘EM. McDonald’s accidentally created a rather work-unfriendly holiday cup. 

TRUTH TALK. Whoopi Goldberg says “Kellyanne Conway is fake news”: “If this were any other country we’d be all in their business. We’d be investigating and looking and saying you can’t run these kinds of elections.”

RECOUNT. Trump’s victory in Wisconsin still holds: “Trump picked up a net 162 votes as a result of the recount that the Wisconsin Elections Commission certified Monday. Green Party candidate Jill Stein requested and paid for the recount that began Dec. 1.”

MIDDLE EAST. Syrian rebels retreat from Aleppo amid “terrifying” collapse: “The Syrian military said it had gained control of 99 percent of the former opposition enclave in eastern Aleppo, signaling an impending end to the rebels’ four-year hold over parts of the city as the final hours of battle played out.”

I’D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY. Drag Race alum Kelly Mantle makes Oscar history: “The gender-fluid performer is eligible for Oscar nominations in both male and female categories, which is a first for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.”

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION. Pre-order Retake starring Tuc Watkins, Devon Graye, Derek Phillips and Kit Williamson on iTunes!

MENTAL STAMINA. Nat Geo miniseries Mars examines stressful situations human settlers would face colonizing the red planet: “Going to Mars will be more than just a tremendous technological feat. Surviving and thriving on the Red Planet may prove to be the biggest challenge yet for human explorers. Living in an environment that is entirely inhospitable — or even deadly — to human life will require more than just the use of advanced technology and infrastructure for protection.”

TECH. Emoji with noise? 

TRAILERS. New Fast & Furious has Charlize Theron.

MISTER MONDAY. Devon Walker.

The post Benghazi, Josh Earnest, McDonald’s, Whoopi Goldberg, Aleppo, Mars, Kelly Mantle: HOT LINKS appeared first on Towleroad.

Benghazi, Josh Earnest, McDonald’s, Whoopi Goldberg, Aleppo, Mars, Kelly Mantle: HOT LINKS

Amy Schumer Tells Ellen About When She Worked in a Lesbian Bar

Spoiler alert: Amy Schumer did not find a girlfriend. 

www.advocate.com/comedy/2016/12/12/amy-schumer-tells-ellen-about-when-she-worked-lesbian-bar

Diesel launches new collection with some mighty handsome cricket players

Sadly, our “List of Things To Not Be Angry At” became an increasingly zippy read in 2016, but this new Diesel ad campaign definitely makes the grade.

Related: Underwear campaign features only normal, “relatable” models. Well, almost.

Announcing a new partnership with Indian Premier League cricket team The Mumbai Indians, the campaign features Diesel’s Renzo Rosso and the owner of the Mumbai Indians, Nita Ambani, embracing full-on preppy realness in the form of polo shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, and the like.

Here’s how that all plays out: 

www.queerty.com/diesel-launches-new-collection-mighty-handsome-cricket-players-20161212?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29

Senate Republicans Will Reintroduce Federal Anti-Gay ‘Religious Freedom’ Bill Next Year Because Trump 

Top Senate Republicans announced on Monday that they plan to reintroduce a staunchly anti-gay religious freedom bill in the new year, saying they believe the bill has a better chance of being approved by Congress and signed into law now that Donald Trump has been elected president.

Senators Mike Lee (UT) and Ted Cruz (TX) both commented that they believe the political climate has changed in favor of what is known as the First Amendment Defense Act (FADA)–aka the vilest religious freedom bill of our time. 

Donald Trump is on the record supporting this bill.

In essence, FADA enables individuals and corporations to to discriminate against gay people and flout the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage all in the name of ‘religious freedom.’

BuzzFeed reports:

“Hopefully November’s results will give us the momentum we need to get this done next year,” said Lee’s spokesman, Conn Carroll.

Trump vowed during the campaign to sign the First Amendment Defense Act, arguing it would “protect the deeply held religious beliefs of Catholics and the beliefs of Americans of all faiths.”

Carroll added, “We do plan to reintroduce FADA next Congress and we welcome Trump’s positive words about the bill.”

RELATED: ACLU, 70 Groups Demand House Cancel Hearing of Vile Anti-LGBT Bill 1 Month After Orlando

Cruz told BuzzFeed,

“The prospects for protecting religious freedom are brighter now than they have been in a long time. We are having ongoing conversations with our colleagues both in Congress and leaders in the new administration about a multitude of ways we can honor the commitment made to the voters in this last election.”

The post Senate Republicans Will Reintroduce Federal Anti-Gay ‘Religious Freedom’ Bill Next Year Because Trump  appeared first on Towleroad.

Senate Republicans Will Reintroduce Federal Anti-Gay ‘Religious Freedom’ Bill Next Year Because Trump 

And the sexist part of a man’s body is…

A gaggle of researchers from Fitrated.com, a fitness website, conducted a survey to find out what parts of the body people found most attractive. Over 2,000 Americans of all genders, ages, and sexual orientations participated in the study.

It should come as no surprise that 36.1 percent of gay men said they preferred a “muscular” body type, followed by 26.7 percent who said they preferred an “average” bodies, and 18.3 percent who said they liked they men “thin.” 11.1 percent reported like “curvy” guys, and 7.8 percent said their ideal partner’s body type was “other.”

Related: Dad bods, otters, and bears! Oh my! The 10 most common male body types

As for facial features, the vast majority of gay men (62.7 percent) said eyes were the most attractive part of the face, followed by the jawline, mouth, nose, and, lastly, the ears.

Now what about body parts? Here’s where it gets a little more complicated.

Gay men reported that the chest of a muscular man, the stomach and abs of a thin man, and the butt and chest on an average-shaped man were the #1 most attractive parts of their bodies. In other words: attractive features changed depending on the body type.

Butts came in at a close second for all three body types. Interestingly, arms came in last place for both average-shaped men and thin men, and second to the last for muscular men. The takeaway? Focus less on all those bicep curls you’ve been doing and start exercising those pecs and glutes more!

Related: Author calls out gay men for “fat-shaming and negative body talk”

In conclusion, researchers determined that “you should love and take care of your [entire] body regardless” of what areas other people find most attractive.

“Developing a fit physique is usually obtainable for those willing to put in the necessary reps,” they write. “Working out won’t just give you a better-looking physique, but a confidence that can be just as sexy.”

www.queerty.com/sexist-part-mans-body-20161212?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29