Man Fears His Past Encounters With Strangers Is Inhibiting His Ability To Love

A U.K. man fears he may have destroyed his chances of ever find true, meaningful love because once upon a time he worked as a male escort.

“I have recently found myself struggling to be intimate in long-term relationships,” the man writes in to advice columnist Pamela Stephenson Connolly at The Guardian. “I’m a gay man, and left a loving but sexless, five-year relationship six months ago.”

Related: Young Man Seeks Advice For Obsession With Bigger Guys, Can’t Get Enough Belly

He continues: “I find sexual encounters with strangers exciting, and worry that I can’t be intimate with someone I like. When I was a broke student, I turned to escorting a handful of times.”

The man wonders if this may have tarnished his ability to love.

“I am now worried that this has been to the detriment of my goals of a fulfilling, loving relationship,” he writes.

Being a psychotherapist who specialized in sexual disorders, Connolly has no trouble getting to the root of the troubled man’s problem.

Related: Straight Man Seeks Advice After Sleeping With His Married Boss

“Your ability to compartmentalize relationships and to separate love and sex does not necessarily hamper your ability to form a satisfying, long-term bond,” she begins. “But do you really want that right now?”

Keeping the fire stoked in a long-term relationship, she continues, requires some work.

“It seems that your relationships so far have used the immediacy or novelty of attraction to fuel a short-term encounter,” she observes, “but the far more difficult task is to adeptly deal with the vicissitudes of sharing daily living with another human being while maintaining the erotic spark.”

“True intimacy,” she says, “involves allowing yourself to see, and be seen, by your partner. … Perhaps you are not willing to reach so far at this point in time? Does it really matter? If you are not ready now, maybe you will crave a deeper union with the right person at a future time.”

What do you think? Could this man’s past encounters with strangers have stained his ability of ever finding real love? Sound off in the comments section below.

Related: Bi Guy Writes For Advice After Doing The Nasty With His Fiancee’s Father

Graham Gremore

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Charlie Sheen to Announce He’s HIV Positive?

Charlie Sheen is set to appear tomorrow on NBC’s Today show and media outlets are speculating Sheen will reveal he is HIV positive. Today has confirmed only that Sheen will sit down with Matt Lauer to “make a revealing personal announcement.”

Rumors began to swirl last week in British tabloids that an “A-list” “womanizer” had caused Hollywood to become “gripped with fear” after news of his HIV status spread.

People Magazine reports:

Charlie Sheen is going on theToday show to discuss being HIV-positive, sources tell PEOPLE.

According to top Hollywood publicist and crisis manager Howard Bragman, he was approached by people close to Sheen six months ago to deal with the crisis, but never dealt with him directly. “The interview could open up a lot of sympathy for him, but he has to be concerned about a fear of litigation from former sexual partners. You don’t take that lightly.”

Bragman says he was informed that Sheen “is getting treatment, and a lot of people in his life know about it.”

TMZ adds that Sheen’s reveal may have been hastened by threat of legal action:

We’re told he’s known about his status for more than a year and he kept a lid on the information.

We’re told things changed when Charlie confided in several friends he thought were confidants … it turned out they weren’t, and spread the word he was HIV positive.

That led to several of Charlie’s former partners contacting him and threatening a lawsuit because they were unaware of his status when they had interaction with him. Our sources say Charlie settled several of the cases and, in return for money, got confidentiality agreements.

We’re told one of the settlements occurred late last month.

Back in 2011, Sheen appeared on the Today show to try and do damage control regarding his public meltdown surrounding his ouster from the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men.

The post Charlie Sheen to Announce He’s HIV Positive? appeared first on Towleroad.

Sean Mandell

Charlie Sheen to Announce He’s HIV Positive?

PHOTOS: For Pride We Go to Rio

Advocate.com Editors

www.advocate.com/pride/2015/11/16/photos-pride-we-go-rio

No, Mr. President, Values Are Not Universal
In the immediate aftermath of Friday’s horrendous tragedy in Paris, President Obama made a statement in which he condemned the violence as “an attack on all of humanity and the universal values that we share.”

These words could not be more misguided, and represent the key failure of his administration.

If anything, the devastation in Paris highlights that there are no shared values of humanity. Rather, there are competing value systems that are so at odds with each other that what happened in France — while unthinkable to a majority of the world’s population — is seen as a victory by a sizable and growing number of people.

As a queer activist, I have been particularly horrified by the values around gender and sexuality espoused by many religious extremists around the world. It is patently false to suggest that even the more moderate views that I have around these topics — for example, that men are not superior to others — are somehow “universal.” This idea is violently opposed, and its inverse brutally imposed, by many.

In fact, even here in the U.S., many values that I consider core to my existence and to that of my fellow queer siblings are hardly universal; they may not even be the majority view. It would be lazy activism, if it is activism at all, for people like me to sit back and think that deep down everyone believes what I do, and that I do not have to fight for my basic liberties and bodily integrity. Even if we feel safe ourselves (which we should not), we should never be so complacent as to not speak out against worldviews that lead to the persecution of the less fortunate.

So what values is Obama alluding to as being universal? The basic humanity of others? This is a value to which ISIS and others like them are not only opposed, but in fact represent an existential threat.

In his endless quest for political correctness and to prove that we can find consensus if we search hard enough, Obama has expressed with the most striking clarity yet his failed worldview and chief political strategy. It is a strategy that has impeded him in virtually every policy-making arena into which he has entered during his seven years as president, from reforming the healthcare system to bringing relief to immigrants.

It is a dangerous ideology for anyone who opposes extremism to adopt. For those of us who are queer, who are feminist, and who believe in human rights, we put ourselves in grave danger if we accept the premise that we do not have to fight for our values — both for ourselves and for those around the world who are oppressed because of their gender or sexuality. It is intellectually dishonest, it is feckless, and it will fail.

We must be deliberate about how we articulate and defend our values, or else we might as well not have them. In his refusal to recognize this, Obama has stood for virtually nothing and accomplished as much. It is a core and unforgivable failure of leadership, and it is a stunning disservice to those whose lives were shattered by the brutality of Friday’s attacks.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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REVIEW: Jamie’s Italian – Angel, London

I was in Angel and needing a quick bite to eat before heading to a show at Sadler’s Wells theatre – eventually opting for Jamie’s Italian for a pasta fix.

It is perhaps a little too easy to be hyper-critical of chain restaurants like Jamie’s Italian, but if I was Jamie Oliver and it was my name above the door I’d be disappointed that this outpost of his empire is lacking in soul.

The lighting was good. The music was okay.

The staff were friendly and efficient enough, but lacking any real engagement. There was some sort of special dinner menu on offer, but no one mentioned it to me. A restaurant like this can’t be the most exciting place to work, but it was clear that everyone was just going through the motions.

I ordered a bowl of carbonara. It came out incredibly quickly – literally minutes after the waitress had taken my order – and it wasn’t very good. It wasn’t terrible but it lacked any depth of flavor.

The whole thing was somehow a little depressing.

Jamie’s Italian is part of a restaurant chain. You get what it says on the tin.

Read more from Gareth Johnson

Read more restaurant reviews

The post REVIEW: Jamie’s Italian – Angel, London appeared first on Gay Star News.

Gareth Johnson

www.gaystarnews.com/article/review-jamies-italian-angel-london/

Indy Star Reissues Support for Non-Discrimination Law

Last week, The Indianapolis Star published an editorial regarding the effort to pass explicit statewide LGBT non-discrimination protections in Indiana. 
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/indy-star-reissues-support-for-non-discrimination-law?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Bisexual Boxer Who Beat His Homophobic Opponent To Death Is Getting A Biopic

Soon, we can add bisexual boxer Emile Griffith to the ranks of LGBT people who’ve gotten their own biopic.

Deadline is reporting that Room director Lenny Abrahamson has optioned the book A Man’s World: The Double Life Of Emile Griffith, and wants to co-write and direct a film version.

Griffith was a ’60s boxer who won world titles in multiple weight classes, but was best known for beating Benny “The Kid” Parret to death on live TV after Parret grabbed his butt and called him a maricón (the Spanish version of “faggot”).

From what Abrahamson told Deadline, the movie sounds like it’ll be completely different than what we’ve seen before of LGBTs on film:

“As a character study, Griffith is incredibly compelling. There was a gentleness and innocence about him, and he never seemed conflicted about his sexuality; indeed he found joy in it. He inhabited two worlds — the underground gay scene in New York in the ’60s and the macho world of boxing. The societal stigma at that time was dreadful and created a crushing pressure on him.”

We’re looking forward to it. Let’s just hope it does a little better than the last LGBT period piece we got. That one didn’t go over too well.

Check out the infamous Parret fight below to take a look at Griffith in action.

Rob Smith

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Rumored LGBT ‘Sneak Attack’ Inspires Christian Panic Rally in Indiana

Tuesday is the organizational session for the Indiana legislature and “two busloads and several caravans” of Christians are planning to meet them to protest legislation intended to protect LGBT citizens.

The Christians are being motivated by a rumored “sneak attack” to pass the legislation on the first day, NWI.com reports:

At least some of those people will have been motivated by two widely shared Internet videos featuring Eric Miller, executive director of the pro-family group Advance America, warning of an Organization Day “sneak attack” by lawmakers in favor of LGBT protections.

While it is technically possible to enact legislation in one day, both House Speaker Brian Bosma, R-Indianapolis, and Senate President David Long, R-Fort Wayne, have declared there is no “sneak attack” planned, and no proposals will be considered Tuesday.

LGBT rights group Freedom Indiana plans to be there as well, with its own rally.

Last year, as you recall, the legislature passed a “religious freedom” bill pushed by Governor Mike Pence that would have allowed businesses to discriminate against gay couples and got nationwide attention. After the measure made headlines, lawmakers put in a “fix” barring discrimination under the guise of religious liberty.

Hoosiers on both sides are on high alert and a proposal to add gender identity and sexual orientation to the state’s civil rights laws was proposed last month by Senate Democratic Leader Tim Lanane, D-Anderson.

The post Rumored LGBT ‘Sneak Attack’ Inspires Christian Panic Rally in Indiana appeared first on Towleroad.

Andy Towle

Rumored LGBT ‘Sneak Attack’ Inspires Christian Panic Rally in Indiana

WATCH: Missing Gay Man's Body Found Near Torched Truck in Houston Suburb

Investigators in Montgomery County, Texas, are reportedly close to making an arrest in the murder of Marc Pourner, 28, whose body was found Saturday night in a wooded area near the shell of his burned-out truck, reported Texas LGBT website About News.

Pourner vanished Thursday after receiving a ‘disturbing’ late night phone call. His family grew worried when he failed to show up for work as a bookkeeper last week. 

Houston TV station KTRK reported Sunday that investigators were led to the scene where Pourner’s body was found . According to About News, the tip came from a “person of interest” who is connected to the victim.  Pourner’s body had been gagged and tied, and there were indications of blunt force trauma to the head, according to About. An autopsy is expected to be performed today.

Pourner’s family told KTRK they believe he was the victim of a hate crime because he was gay. 

“In our discussion with the detectives one of the first things I told them when they briefed us this morning was that one of the things that struck me about how this crime was carried out was the speed and cold efficiency that it took place with,” said the victim’s father, Mark Pourner.  “I told the detective that in my opinion that indicated to me that this person has probably killed before and I have no doubt that they would kill again.”

His relatives say Pourner was a good friend to many and had a big heart. 

Anyone with information is asked to call Montgomery County Crime Stoppers at 800-392-STOP.

Watch the report from KTRK below.

Dawn Ennis

www.advocate.com/crime/2015/11/16/watch-missing-gay-mans-body-found-near-torched-truck-houston-suburb