Whitstable and the most unusual gay cruise I’m ever likely to go on
Getting on a fishing boat at 10am to go see a World War II gun emplacement at the mouth of the River Thames is not your standard gay cruise.
There were around a dozen of us gay boys weekending in Whitstable, a charming fishing town in Kent, southern England. And pretty impressively, every single one wanted to get out of bed on a Saturday morning after a late night’s drinking to explore a bit of Britain’s history.
As history goes, though, it’s a cool bit.
During World War II, Hitler’s Luftwaffe used the Thames to navigate on bombing raids to London.
The wartime blackout had extinguished the lights of Britain’s towns and cities. But Churchill couldn’t switch off the moon. Its light turned the river into a streak of silver, pointing all the way to the pilots’ target.
The Maunsell Forts became London’s first line of defense. Far from the city and its strategically vital docks, these gun emplacements at the mouth of the Thames would shoot down aircraft and flying bombs.
Maunsell Forts guarded the Thames Estuary.
They were pre-built, then floated out on barges which were filled with concrete to sink them. The seven towers, linked together by walkways, became home to 120 men at a time, manning the guns.
Later, in the 1960s, the forts enjoyed a renaissance as pirate radio stations, broadcasting to London and South East England. But that was short-lived and they are now caramel-brown with rust and completely deserted.
They are magnificent despite being derelict. From the shore they look like a cluster of mushrooms on the horizon. Up close they are Star Wars AT-AT Walkers, about to stride across the water, firing lasers.
The forts were used as pirate radio stations.
Our next stop was no less impressive and beautiful. Our boat took us to the base of the Kentish Flats Offshore Windfarm. Built six decades after the Maunsell Forts, in 2005, it is pristine – not a single strand of algae clings to the bright white towers.
The UK is a world leader in wind energy. And a little further out are the 175 turbines of the London Array, the biggest offshore wind farm in the world, covering 100km square of sea. It generates 630 MWh of electricity, enough to power 500,000 homes. That level of green energy is the equivalent to taking 289,000 cars off the road.
Off-shore wind farm near Whitstable.
Suddenly, Mike’s Grindr pinged. It wasn’t any of us. Then I spotted the doors to one of the turbine towers was open. So, if that was you out there, Mr Engineer – he got your message and will keep you posted.
The Siteseeker was as much powerboat as fishing trawler and we had an exhilarating ride back to shore, standing on the top deck to enjoy the view.
Back to shore on the Siteseeker.
On-board the Siteseeker.
As we disembarked the handsome captain rather sweetly commented that he had never met so many gay people at one time before – but we were all very nice.
Whitstable is famous for its oysters and they made a perfect lunch to end our maritime experience, seasoned with a little lemon and Tabasco.
What better to wash that down than with a local beer? The County of Kent is the home of British beer – its hops have flavored our national drink for generations. So it’s only right that Whitstable produces several great ales from its microbreweries.
Standing on the sea wall in Whitstable.
The other great local treat is fish and chips. Always best eaten by the sea and particularly good here where the fish are landed in the town’s small harbor.
I can only say the guy in the chippy obviously knows what he likes in men. He slipped the four of blonds in the group an extra sausage. I was just disappointed James’s sausage was bigger than mine.
Fish and chips on the beach at sunset is a perfect end to the day – after all, one of Britain’s greatest ever artists, JMW Turner, was inspired the evening light on this part of the Thames Estuary.
Turner praised the light on this part of the coast.
There’s an alternative vibe to Whitstable and some fantastic independent retailers on its quaint high street – from boutique fashion stores to quality butchers.
On Saturday evening, it spills out rather more exuberantly. Locals and tourists gather on the beach near the Whitstable Oyster Fishery pub for a free party. You can bring your own drinks and there’s not even a charge for the DJ.
The town boasts miles of beach.
We finished our weekend in the more gentile surroundings of Whitstable Castle.
The pretty gardens and mock-gothic house are turned over to an antiques market about one Sunday a month. Record players, cut glass decanters, an unfortunate-looking ferret…
Serenaded by a jazz singer, our friend Daniel snapped up a retro camera while I happened to stumble on a nicely bound 1958 edition of a book on horses written by my great-granddad. And it only set me back £2 ($3 €2.70).
I can’t promise you’ll find a family heirloom in Whitstable. But on a weekend away there, you may well find a bolt-hole by the sea you’ll want to escape to again and again.
We stayed in the charming Spray Cottage (from Whitstable Holiday Homes) and went to the forts with Whitstable Boat Trips.
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Tris Reid-Smith
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