The Greatest Athletes Who Never Got a Wheaties Box

Advocate.com Editors

www.advocate.com/sports/2015/10/12/greatest-athletes-who-never-got-wheaties-box

HIV negative gay men are their own worst enemy in the fight against rising HIV rates

Gay guys live in a paradoxical world of denial. That’s what the results of a new survey conducted by UK-based gay men’s health charity GMFA scream from the gayborhood rooftops.

Recently, for the first time (to my knowledge), I slept with a guy who was HIV+ and undetectable. I like to think that I am well clued up on sexual health, given that I work within LGBTI media. As a gay man, I also feel that this knowledge should be second nature for those instances when I need to assess my risk-taking.

I am ashamed to say my initial gut reaction, in the seconds after the guy quite frankly and honestly told me his status, was fear.

I temporarily lost the ability to recall the facts concerning safe sex with an HIV+ man and, the next morning when the deed had been done (fantastically, I might add!), I left his place with a feeling of guilt.

Not that I’d slept with him, far from it, but that my initial reaction had been one I did not expect (maybe due to past bad experiences with a HIV+ ex who betrayed my trust). I also felt guilty because I hoped he hadn’t picked up my on my earlier reservations – because as it happens, I found him super attractive (like wow!).

After reading the statistics from GMFA I realized something; my initial gut reaction resonated with the widely uneducated/in denial gay community and rather than lasting a short amount of time before common sense kicked back, as it did with me, was in fact a hardwired part of their perception and belief-system.

In my eyes, it’s this section of the gay community that is to be feared. You are more at risk of contracting HIV from having unprotected sex with someone who doesn’t know their status than from having unprotected sex with a HIV+ man who is on meds and undetectable – so why would they rather take the unprotected plunge with men who assume they are negative than with those who know they are positive?

The survey, which included over 3,000 responses found that while 51% of gay men who have not been diagnosed with HIV admitted that they were worried about becoming HIV-positive, 66% of them said they didn’t use a condom with a casual partner.

Furthermore, 44% of the gay men surveyed also stated that they would not have sex with a HIV-positive man who had disclosed their status.

This is simply down discrimination, denial and a complete lack of education.

On the flip side, 90% of HIV-positive men used a condom with a casual partner.

This uneducated group of HIV-negative gay men, who are still clinging to the myths of yesteryear, are the biggest barriers we face in the fight against the rise of HIV and other STD’s.

I would much rather have sex with a HIV-positive man who is knowledgeable about his status, and more likely to be protective of his body and clued up on sexual health, than a man who assumes he is HIV-negative and is willing to bury his head in the sand and go bareback with a casual partner.

It might be different if you’re on PrEP but that’s not yet available in the UK.

The stigma around having sex with people who have HIV is misguided wrong and should be reversed. We should be looking up to the HIV-positive community; HIV positive people that I know care about their sexual health, care about the safety of their partners, and doing what they can to maintain optimum health.

The negative community should then look closely at their attitudes and ask why they are willing to put themselves at risk with other uneducated ‘HIV-negative’ men instead of sleeping with educated positive men who not only have their own, but also others, best interests at heart when it comes to sexual and general well-being.

It’s time for the majority of HIV-negative men to pull their heads out of the sand, be aware of the actions they are choosing to take (because it is always a choice) and take responsibility not only for themselves but for those around them.

We’re all in this together, positive and/or negative.

To follow Dan on Twitter, click here.

For details in the statistics and findings found by GMFA, click here.

For other information around HIV, STDs and gay men’s health, click here.

The post HIV negative gay men are their own worst enemy in the fight against rising HIV rates appeared first on Gay Star News.

Dan Beeson

www.gaystarnews.com/article/hiv-negative-gay-men-are-their-own-worst-enemy-in-the-fight-against-rising-hiv-rates/

Are Gays Really Better With Money?

Statistics can be tricky.  On the one hand, you may have seen some of the studies that say “Gays are better with money” (Prudential, Census Bureau, Experian). On the other, there are polls that show that the LGBT community has lower income and lower levels of education (Gallup). Who is right? And can these studies even draw a useful conclusion from the data?

When it comes to being gay, there really is no such thing as “average”; there’s just way too much diversity among us for that to be remotely possible. But with any statistical monetary median there are people who rise above while others fall below.  For every uber-earner like David Geffen, Elton John, or Tim Cook in our A-list cities, there are thousands of homeless LGBT youth struggling across this great country.

However, there is a significant urban and educated gay cohort that is more affluent than their urban and educated straight brethren of the same age. (Somebody’s got to pay the armies of personal trainers who deliver all the six-packs running around, right?) As a gay man in Southern California, I definitely enjoy many advantages when it comes to finances (beyond personally being a financial planner and having a fiscally responsible husband), while at the same time face the same challenges prevalent to our community.

Fiscal Potential

It’s no secret that the stereotypical “gay” professions – in media, the arts, design, beauty, and other creative endeavors — have the potential to pay extremely well. However, it must be said that most gay individuals, like most individuals period, have “regular” jobs in decidedly less glamourous professions. So where’s the gay advantage when it comes to money?

Years of being discriminated against and not being afforded the protections and benefits of marriage may have forced you to be proactive and take control of your finances. This may increase your odds of actually implementing a comprehensive financial plan with proper estate planning.

As a community we are also more likely to be educated, have dual-income households, and less likely to have kids. DINK (double income, no kids) couples are a financial planner’s dream, let me tell you. A gay couple with no children will have way more disposable income compared to a family with several children, even if both parents are working.  (Estimates say it costs at least $245,000 to raise a middle-class child. And if he/she goes to medical school, you can count on doubling that.)

Paying the Gay Way

I’ve noted before that our community faces its own financial challenges.

Keeping up with the Gay Joneses can leave even the biggest earners among us with empty pockets. One of my previous posts, “Are Your Gay Friends Making You Poor?” generated a response ranging from hate mail to “OMG this is so spot on.”

But the stereotypical “gay lifestyle” can be a budget buster.  A consumer frenzy of first class vacations,  ultra-luxury cars, and fancy clothes can easily get you off track financially and have you living from paycheck to paycheck, however large. And don’t get me started on the cost of gyms, Botox, plastic surgery and a million other ways we “stay young” and “healthy.”

Furthermore, high-earning LGBT people also tend to live in higher-cost metropolitan areas, thereby increasing many costs of living. Housing dollars go a whole lot further in Kansas than L.A., San Francisco, or New York City. 

Finally, for those who do choose to have a family, adoption or surrogacy can be quite expensive even before any child-rearing costs enter the picture. 

Redefining Success

In my opinion, making more income and having less debt than the general population doesn’t necessarily make you better at handling money.  True, generating tons of dough makes you successful on the job front and having less debt is an excellent thing, but neither makes you a fiscal whiz kid either. Nor do these things mean you are rich or even financially secure for that matter.

Ask yourself who’s in worse shape, a factory worker with $20,000 in credit card debt or a movie star with a $20 million dollar mortgage? For instance, I’d be willing to bet Lindsay Lohan has been more successful making money than the vast majority of people reading this piece, yet she’s currently broke because her fiscal chops — or those of the people she hired to look after her affairs — were not up to snuff. I’d also be willing to bet that because of this, the vast majority of people reading this piece are in better financial shape than she is.

So what is important? Repeat after me: Becoming a successful money maestro means developing a specific plan for your specific situation to reach your personal financial goals.

One of our journeys as a gay community is to claim our self-respect and assert our place in the world. On a personal level, an excellent way to put your self-respect in action is to take control of your finances and make your own world more secure and a lot more welcoming.

DAVID RAE, CFP®, AIF® is a Los Angeles-based retirement planning specialist with Trilogy Financial Services, a firm managing over $3 billion of client assets. He has been helping people reach their financial goals for over a decade. Follow him on Twitter @davidraecfp, on Facebook, or via his website, DavidRaeFP.com. 
David Rae

www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/10/12/are-gays-really-better-money

Watch: Trans man documents his amazing transformation in 1,400 selfies

A 21-year-old transgender man has documented his amazing transformation in selfies he took every day for three years.

Jamie Raines, from Essex, England, was 18 when he started taking hormones and has shared every moment of his transition on YouTube and Tumblr.

‘It was harder in the beginning, but as time went on it’s become part of my daily routine to sit down and take a photo every night, and particularly as the changes got more visible, taking them and creating the videos became more and more rewarding,’ he told The Huffington Post.

‘I have had to lug my camera and tripod on holiday and visiting people and sometimes taking the photo can be a very last minute thing! But I must admit there’s probably been a couple of occasions where I have.’

Three years and 1,400 selfies later, Raines is now being featured in Girls to Men – a documentary that follows three young British transgender men as they undergo surgical procedures including breast removal and phalloplasty.

Girls to Men airs on 13 October on Channel 4. The series will air in the US at a later date.

Watch Raines’ transformation video below:

The post Watch: Trans man documents his amazing transformation in 1,400 selfies appeared first on Gay Star News.

Darren Wee

www.gaystarnews.com/article/watch-trans-man-documents-his-amazing-transformation-in-1400-selfies/

YouTube star Trevor Moran comes out as gay: ‘I was in a glass closet’

YouTube star Trevor Moran has come out as gay.

The 17-year-old musician released a coming out music video for his song I Wanna Fly late last month, then followed up with a vlog on Friday (9 October).

‘So basically – if it’s a shocker to any of you – I’m gay!’ he told his nearly one million subscribers.

‘Whew, that was hard. That was hard to say to the camera, dude.’

Moran said he never felt like he was actually in the closet and that he was more ‘clarifying’ his sexuality.

‘I don’t feel like I was ever in a closet, I feel like I was in a glass closet,’ he said.

‘You could fucking see me, like, “Bitch come out we fucking see you. We see you!”‘

Moran then took questions from his 1.4 million Twitter followers.

‘There was always something YAAAS about me,’ he said.

‘I thought I was bisexual for a long time because I was just so frightened by the word gay.

‘I did definitely try to be straight and experiment with girls – it just doesn’t work.’

Watch the vlog below:

Watch the video for I Wanna Fly below:

The post YouTube star Trevor Moran comes out as gay: ‘I was in a glass closet’ appeared first on Gay Star News.

Darren Wee

www.gaystarnews.com/article/youtube-star-trevor-moran-comes-out-as-gay-i-was-in-a-glass-closet/

Trans woman beaten by group of men, shot dead in Philadephia

Another transgender woman has been murdered in the US in what LGBTI activists are calling ‘a nationwide epidemic of anti-transgender violence.’

Keisha Jenkins, 22, was attacked by five or six unidentified men on a Philadelphia street early Tuesday (6 October) morning, ABC News reported.

One of her attackers then pulled out a gun and fired two shots into her back while she was on the ground.

Jenkins was unresponsive when police and medics arrived and was pronounced dead in hospital at 2.53am.

Police said the suspects are still at large and they are investigating whether her gender identity played a role in the slaying.

Jenkins is the 21st transgender person – and the 18th transgender woman of color – to be killed in the US this year.

Another transgender woman of color, 21-year-old London Chanel, was stabbed to death by her roommate in Philadelphia earlier this year.

‘Even in a moment of unprecedented visibility for transgender people, their right to simply live authentically is threatened daily by violence, with countless unreported or unseen cases falling behind scattered headlines,’ Judy Shepard – the mother of 1988 gay murder victim Matthew Shepard – wrote in an op-ed with Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin.

‘Permanent, explicit non-discrimination protections that cover life’s necessities – from employment and housing to credit and education and beyond – are long overdue.

‘The Equality Act, introduced in Congress in July, would ensure that these explicit federal protections exist: from recourse for a transgender woman denied housing at an emergency shelter, to explicit protections under federal law for a transgender student or employee discriminated against because of who they are. But make no mistake, this legislation and the federal arena are not the only place for action.

‘We need policies that address intimate partner violence and ensure safe schools, and we need mayors, police chiefs, state legislators and governors to do everything in their power to bring solutions to the table.’

The post Trans woman beaten by group of men, shot dead in Philadephia appeared first on Gay Star News.

Darren Wee

www.gaystarnews.com/article/trans-woman-beaten-by-group-of-men-shot-dead-in-philadephia/