Chelsea Manning: I Almost Gave Up, Then Got 'Second Wind'

In her first letter from prison for Medium.com, Chelsea Manning discloses that the challenges of transitioning in a military prison recently made her so depressed she wanted to give up — but then she got a “second wind” to carry on.

“Recently, on the evening of September 18, I finally decided that maybe I should quit, to give up on everything and everyone: my family, my friends, my supporters, my court-martial appeal, and my other legal battles,” Manning writes in the post, which went up today.

The catalyst involved the enforcement of a gender-based grooming standard, says Manning, the former Army private and transgender woman who is serving a 35-year sentence at Fort Leavenworth, Kan., for providing secret military documents to Wikileaks.

“That evening I found out that the military was going to force me to keep my hair cut very short, to the ‘male’ hair standard,” she writes. “I didn’t take the news well. I felt sick. I felt sad. I felt gross  —  like Frankenstein’s monster wandering around the countryside avoiding angry mobs with torches and pitch forks.”

Manning, who is the first imprisoned soldier to receive transition-related hormone therapy (the photos above are from February, the week she began therapy), reports that she spent some time crying, then called her lawyer, Chase Strangio of the American Civil Liberties Union.

 “He did such a wonderful job just listening to me,” she writes. “After feeling devastated, humiliated, hurt, and rejected  —  and after wanting to give up on the world  —  I found my ‘second wind’ of sorts. I can make it just a little longer. I just hope it’s not too much longer.”

 Manning will chronicle her experience of transitioning in the military prison in periodic posts on the site, and she welcomes questions and feedback. Read the full post here.

Trudy Ring

www.advocate.com/transgender/2015/10/07/chelsea-manning-i-almost-gave-then-got-second-wind

REVIEW: Grocer & Grind – Seminyak, Bali

There are a lot of great breakfast, brunch and coffee places opening up in the Seminyak neighborhood of Bali, but Grocer & Grind is one of the first and still one of the best.

Friendly service, good coffee, and a selection of simple but tasty food.

The streets of Seminyak are busy with the hustle and bustle of daily life in Bali, but Grocer & Grind is the perfect quiet corner to refuel and refresh before diving back out into your Bali experience.

Read more from Gareth Johnson

Read more restaurant reviews

The post REVIEW: Grocer & Grind – Seminyak, Bali appeared first on Gay Star News.

Gareth Johnson

www.gaystarnews.com/article/review-grocer-grind-seminyak-bali/

Saving for College Tuition with Hayley & Erica

Advocate.com Editors

www.advocate.com/advocate-money-minute/2015/10/07/saving-college-tuition-hayley-erica

Military Haircuts
The last few weeks have been particularly challenging for me. For the first time in years, I felt like giving up… then, I found my “second wind” to be human.

I wasn’t sure I was ever going to write this article. Recently, on the evening of September 18, I finally decided that maybe I should quit, to give up on everything and everyone: my family, my friends, my supporters, my court-martial appeal, and my other legal battles  —  even my articles for the Guardian and my Medium debut. Basically, I nearly surrendered.

You see, that evening I found out that the military was going to force me to keep my hair cut very short, to the “male” hair standard.

I didn’t take the news well. I felt sick. I felt sad. I felt gross  –  like Frankenstein’s monster wandering around the countryside avoiding angry mobs with torches and pitch forks.

I wanted to run away. I wanted to close the door to my cell, turn out the lights, and shun the world outside. I did exactly that. And then I cried, and cried, sniffled a little bit, and then cried some more. This went on until around midnight.

I wanted to cry myself to sleep on the concrete floor, but a guard came by twice and started asking me if I was okay. “Yes, I’m fine,” I said. I was not okay, though. It wasn’t his fault; he was just a young guy, maybe 20 years old, I thought to myself.

Then I started to think really dark thoughts. You know, “emo”-goth stuff, like “black isn’t dark enough of a color for me.”

After five years  —  and more  –  of fighting for survival, I had to fight even more. I was out of energy.

I called Chase Strangio, my ACLU lawyer, and I cried. As my legal counsel, he represents me in this lawsuit to challenge the hair policy that makes and treats me like a monster or a problem. But I just wanted love and support, and someone to cry to when I was feeling alone. He did such a wonderful job just listening to me.

After feeling devastated, humiliated, hurt, and rejected – and after wanting to give up on the world  —  I found my “second wind” of sorts.

I can make it just a little longer. I just hope it’s not too much longer.

I hope to use this platform as a place to document my experience and share my story and, maybe even begin a conversation. Going through such a seismic, existential shift in my life  —  transitioning in a military prison — presents real, meaningful, and daily challenges. I want to hear your thoughts and questions so we can continue to have a dialogue. I also look forward to reading the stories you are brave enough to share with the world so we can understand each other and define ourselves on our own terms.

This post first appeared on Medium. Cross-posted with permission of the author.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Hillary Clinton thinks Kim Davis got exactly what she deserved when she was sent to jail

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton finally got a Kim Davis question.

During a campaign event Iowa, Clinton was asked: ‘What would you do about somebody if they were to do something like Kim Davis did recently?’

The former Secretary of State replied that she had no problem with the Rowan County Clerk being jailed for six days last month for defying a federal judge’s order that she provide marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

‘I think what happened to Kim Davis was the right thing,’ Clinton said at Cornell College in Mount Vernon.

‘She violated the law, and therefore she was arrested. I actually think that she was treated as she should have been treated … When you take an oath to uphold the constitution of the United States, that is your job … You either enforce the law or you resign from your public position.’

Davis stopped issuing licenses to any couples – gay or straight – after the US Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal in all 50 US states.

Republican presidential hopefuls Mike Huckabee and US Senator Ted Cruz have supported Davis publicly. Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas, organized a rally outside the Kentucky jail when Davis was released and Cruz was present but kept off the stage by a Huckabee aide.

H/T: The Washington Post

The post Hillary Clinton thinks Kim Davis got exactly what she deserved when she was sent to jail appeared first on Gay Star News.

Greg Hernandez

www.gaystarnews.com/article/hillary-clinton-thinks-kim-davis-got-exactly-what-she-deserved-when-she-was-sent-to-jail/

“America’s Next Top Model” Hottie Comes Out As “Sexually Fluid”

America’s Next Top Model contestant Nyle DiMarco made history as the first deaf contestant in the show’s 22 cycles, and now he’s made ANTM history again by coming out as sexually “fluid.”

ANTM fan Kike Garces Tweeted at DiMarco, 25, asking, “Nyle you have so much gays fans! Tell us, boys or girls?” to which he replied “fluid,” along with a link to an Everyday Feminism article entitled, “How Fluid Sexuality Fits into the LGBTQIA+ Spectrum.”

Aside from giving visibility to alternative sexualities (score!), here’s a photo-list of why the news makes us so, shall we say, excited:

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Sep 26, 2015 at 1:14pm PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Oct 2, 2015 at 8:35am PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Sep 21, 2015 at 8:25am PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Sep 18, 2015 at 8:00am PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Sep 7, 2015 at 1:49pm PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Aug 9, 2015 at 4:09pm PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Jul 16, 2015 at 8:53am PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Jun 16, 2015 at 10:57am PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Jun 10, 2015 at 12:46pm PDT

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Jan 6, 2015 at 9:02am PST

A photo posted by Nyle DiMarco – Official – NYC (@nyledimarco) on Oct 4, 2015 at 12:42pm PDT

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/FifgMec3ohA/americas-next-top-model-hottie-comes-out-as-sexually-fluid-20151007

Gay Men Twice As Likely To Get Skin Cancer Due To Heavier Tanning Bed Use

A new study from researchers at UC San Francisco has found that gay and bisexual men are up to six times as likely to use indoor tanning beds and twice as likely to get skin cancer compared with heterosexual men. For gay and bisexual women, the results were inverted, with heterosexual women twice as likely “to report both indoor tanning and non-melanoma skin cancer.”

NewsWise reports:

The data analysis of 192,575 adult men and women – 66,677 in California and 125,898 from a national survey — will be published October 7, 2015 in JAMA Dermatology.

The difference in skin cancer rates persisted even after the researchers controlled for a history of immunosuppression, including HIV infection status.

“One likely cause of more skin cancer among gay and bisexual men is greater exposure to ultraviolet radiation caused by indoor tanning,” said [Sarah Arron, MD, PhD, a UCSF associate professor of dermatology], who also directs the UCSF High Risk Cancer Program. “Many people, especially younger people, associate tanning with health and attractiveness, and unfortunately, that myth has serious consequences.”

Avoiding ultraviolent exposure form indoor tanning is the easiest way to reduce one’s risk for skin cancer.

The study from UCSF is the first to look at the skin cancer rates of gay and bisexual men compared with those of heterosexual men.

Dr. Arron added that she hopes this study “will help increase awareness among health care providers that gay and bisexual men constitute a high-risk population for skin cancer, which in turn will lead to increased public health education and more diligent skin cancer screening in this group of men.” Arron also stressed the importance of screening in detecting and treating skin cancer.

The post Gay Men Twice As Likely To Get Skin Cancer Due To Heavier Tanning Bed Use appeared first on Towleroad.

Sean Mandell

Gay Men Twice As Likely To Get Skin Cancer Due To Heavier Tanning Bed Use

This Awesome Dad Will Be the Anna to His Young Son’s Elsa This Halloween

Two Virginia parents do not have time to deal with traditional, oppressive gender roles, as evidenced in the fabulous dress their 3-year-old son picked out for Halloween. 

A Facebook photo from Chesapeake residents Paul Henson and Ashley Ramage showing their son Caiden trying on a Halloween costume is going viral, quickly lighting up social, local and national media — but not for the reasons you would think. Instead of trying on a superhero or monster costume like most boys his age, Caiden is dressed up as Princess Elsa (from the hit animated Disney film Frozen), clearly possessing the attitude required of an enchanted snow queen. 

According to the Huffington Post, Henson and Ramage let Caiden pick any costume he wanted for Halloween, regardless of whether or not it was “for” a boy or girl, and that he has always had a special love for Princess Elsa, his favorite cartoon character. 

“As children get older, they distance themselves from their parents. Why start that split sooner than they need to?” Henson told HuffPost. “It’s important for children to know that their parents will stand by them no matter what. Ashley and I will do whatever it takes to keep our son happy and not take his innocence and imagination from him.”

In his original Facebook status, Henson also said Caiden wants him to dress like Elsa’s sister in Frozen, Anna.

“Game on,” the father wrote of his reaction to his son’s request. “Keep your masculine bullshit and slutty kids costumes, Halloween is about children pretending to be their favorite characters.”

“I want other parents to realize that gender stereotypes are taught and learned behaviors,” Ramage added to HuffPost. “At 3 years old, kids are still developing, exploring and discovering. As parents we shouldn’t discourage their individuality.”

Raffy Ermac

www.advocate.com/youth/2015/10/07/awesome-dad-will-be-anna-his-young-sons-elsa-halloween

10 Ways to Make It Easier for Your Child to Come Out
October 11 is National Coming Out Day. Young people across the country are thinking about coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT*). Many have high hopes that coming out will give them relief. Maybe they’ve been hiding a secret for a long time and hunger for the freedom to be themselves with the people they love. Sadly, the one thing they may fear the most is rejection from their parents or caregivers. We can change this.

If your child is thinking about coming out, you probably don’t know about it. You might suspect that your child is LGBT*, or you may not have the slightest idea. Either way, it’s a good idea to be prepared for any possibility. Below are ways that parents and caregivers can make the days before and after coming out much easier for their children.

If Your Child Hasn’t Come Out

If your child is planning to come out, they may be watching for clues to guess how accepting and open you might be. Consider the following tips:

1. Don’t assume. Many parents assume our children will love and marry someone of the opposite sex. Most of us also assume that we know our children’s gender from the minute they are born, if not before. On the other hand, some of us may think we know our child is gay or transgender even though they haven’t said anything about it. Avoid jumping to conclusions. Respect your child’s need to discover and disclose their own identity when they are ready.

2. Recognize and address your concerns and fears. Many parents and caregivers have fears about having a gay or transgender child. It can make a difference to realize they’re not alone and to get your questions answered. If it’s hard for you to accept the idea that your child might be gay or transgender, here are resources that may help.

3. Show that you are open and accepting. If your child hears you use offensive language or say negative things about gay or transgender people, they will assume that it’s not safe to come out to you. Use respectful language when talking about people who are LGBT*. Watch TV programs that have LGBT* characters. Find ways to show acceptance without putting your child on the spot.

4. Be approachable and available. Make time and space for your child to be able to talk to you privately. Give them openings to talk about whatever is on their mind.

5. Show unconditional love in your actions and words. Tell your child that you love them for who they are and that nothing can change that. Show your love by treating your child with care and respect. This can help give your child the confidence to confide in you.

Your child just came out. Now what?

You may be relieved that they finally told you, frantic with fear that they will never live a happy life, or somewhere in between. Now what? Your acceptance is the one thing that can make the biggest difference in their health and well being.

1. Show unconditional love in your actions and words. Remind yourself how much you love your child. Tell your child that you love them and that nothing can change that. This may be the thing your child most needs to hear. Even if you are uncomfortable with the news, show affection and avoid saying things that are hurtful.

2. Believe your child. They have probably thought long and hard about this, maybe even agonized over it, before coming out to you. Asking questions like “Are you sure?”, “How do you know?”, “Is this a phase?” won’t make your child feel accepted. They may feel that you are hoping that their identity will go away.

3. Acknowledge the courage it took. Coming out to you may have been the bravest thing your child has ever done. Even if it’s hard to hear, let your child know that you appreciate their openness and honesty.

4. Recognize and address your own concerns and fears. If you aren’t thrilled with the news, you don’t have to fake it. It’s okay to let your child know that it is hard for you. Your child probably went through a process to accept their identity and you may need this too. Ask your child to be patient with you. Meantime, get the information and support you need.

5. Don’t out your child to others. Your child came out to you, but that doesn’t mean they are ready to be out with everyone. Respect their privacy. Ask permission before discussing it with others. If you need someone to talk to, find a way that you can do this without violating their trust.

As with any tips, take what makes sense to you and use your own judgment. Do your best, be forgiving of yourself, and always remember how much you love your child.

*and people of many other sexual orientations and gender identities

For more resources and educational workshops, check out Out Proud Families
Thanks to Danny Moreno for the photo!
For more on my story as a mom, see my Proud Mom Videos.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Liza Minnelli proves show must goes on – takes 200 mile Uber ride to make it to gig

Liza Minnelli learned very early on from her mother, Judy Garland, that the show must go on.

She proved that once again over the weekend.

Minnelli endured an impromptu overnight 200 mile Uber ride to Wilmington, North Carolina, in order to make a show after her flight from Charlotte was turned back due to bad weather.

Minnelli, 69, had already spent much of the day flying from Los Angeles to North Carolina and was on the connecting flight from Charlotte when the pilot turned the plane around due to extreme turbulence, according to the New York Post.

Minnelli and her musical collaborator, Cortés Alexander, were driven by Ahmed El-Awady, a former Egyptian Olympic handball player  who competed at the 1992 and ’96 games.

The ride cost $200 and took four hours.

‘He drove all night and finally delivered Liza to her hotel at 6:30 a.m,’ her rep said.

In the end, Minnelli didn’t disappoint her audience of 1,500 at Cape Fear Community College’s new Humanities & Fine Arts Center where she performed with the North Carolina Symphony.

The showbiz legend was paid $125,000 for the appearance, according to StarTribuneOnline.

The post Liza Minnelli proves show must goes on – takes 200 mile Uber ride to make it to gig appeared first on Gay Star News.

Greg Hernandez

www.gaystarnews.com/article/liza-minnelli-proves-show-must-goes-on-takes-200-mile-uber-ride-to-make-it-to-gig/