Daily Archives: August 13, 2015
Catholic Priest: Gay Sex Is Like a Bagel in the Ear
Catholic Priest: Gay Sex Is Like a Bagel in the Ear
That’s one of the images that came up at a conference promoting celibacy for Catholics with ‘same-sex attractions.’
Trudy Ring
www.advocate.com/religion/2015/08/13/catholic-priest-gay-sex-bagel-ear
Gothenburg's LGBT Pride day
LGBT Community Tells Detroit Police: #TransLivesMatter
LGBT Community Tells Detroit Police: #TransLivesMatter
At a meeting scheduled before the latest murder of a transgender woman, Detroit police pledged their commitment to the safety of LGBT people.
Dawn Ennis
www.advocate.com/transgender/2015/08/13/lgbt-community-tells-detroit-police-translivesmatter
8 Words Of Advice For Divorce In Your 20s
8 Words Of Advice For Divorce In Your 20s
It’s easy to be hard on yourself when going through divorce in your 20s. While all your friends are busy planning their weddings on Pinterest, you’re planning a new life without your spouse and dealing with mounting legal bills.
To make the process a little easier, we asked experts — divorce lawyers, psychologists and financial advisors — to offer their best advice. Here’s what they had to say:
1. Chalk the divorce up to a lapse in judgment.
Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like a failure for splitting up in your 20s. Forgive yourself and remember that you were young and maybe a little naive when you said “I do,” said Andra Brosh, a Los Angeles-based psychologist.
“The truth is that you probably landed here because of a lapse in judgment and unrealistic expectations of the relationship,” she said. “Blame it on your brain; some research has suggested that the brain is not fully mature or developed until well into your 20s.”
2. Learn from the mistakes you made in your marriage.
You’re only allowed to sulk about splitting up for so long. Eventually, you need to reframe your thinking and see the divorce as a stepping stone to personal growth, said Antonio Borrello, a Detroit-based psychologist. Ultimately, divorce should teach you what you need to do differently in order to have a healthier, longer lasting relationship the next time around, he explained.
“You’ll still need to work on whatever it was that killed your marriage even after you get out,” he said. “If you don’t, you’ll drag that junk into your next relationship. Develop some insight and take ownership of the part you played in the downfall of your marriage.”
3. Be wary of rebounding.
Yes, you’re still young and Tinder is very tempting, but for your own well-being, it might be best to take a dating and relationship hiatus, said dating coach Neely Steinberg.
“Spend time developing your independence and discovering who you are outside of a relationship,” she said. “Understand that your existence is not validated by you being in a relationship or by another person. You validate you. Once you are good by yourself and you love who you are on your own, then maybe take a small, smart step to move forward again in your dating life.”
4. Consider mediation as an alternative to litigation.
There’s one advantage young divorcés have over those who go through the process later in life: You likely have less marital assets to divvy up (property, retirement accounts, etc.) and no children to shield from ugly custody battles. Given that, you may want to forgo traditional litigation and consider meeting with a mediator to work out the terms of your divorce, said divorce coach Laura Miolla.
“It’s faster, cheaper and gives you far more control over the process and the agreement you end up with,” she explained. “With less to negotiate, mediation is your best path to divorce without the huge bite out of your bank account in legal fees.”
5. Shared debt may complicate the process.
You might not have much property to divide but you may have shared debt. If you split your joint debt (“I’ll be responsible for this credit card, if you’re responsible for that one”), know that complications could arise later, said certified divorce financial analyst Donna Cheswick.
“Where I see problems occur is when one spouse fails to make monthly payments or files for bankruptcy,” Cheswick said. “If this occurs, the creditors can, and will, go after either party to recoup the full amount of the debt, plus interest and penalties. Lenders don’t care what the couple agreed to in their divorce agreement. They see the credit as a legal obligation of both parties and will enforce the debt obligation, regardless of marital status.”
6. Don’t rant about your divorce on social media.
The drama between you and your ex may be as juicy and compelling as an episode of “Empire,” but your Facebook friends really don’t need to hear about it. What’s more, ranting about your ex could cost you big time in court, said Adam Kielich, a family law attorney based in Dallas.
“Social media creates all sorts of problems in litigation,” he said. “It might be satisfying to skewer your spouse in front of friends and family on Facebook but the satisfaction will quickly dissipate if it gets back to your spouse and becomes a conflict in the divorce. You never know what seemingly innocent post or picture might become important evidence in your divorce.”
7. Take comfort in your friends.
When you do need to rant, call up your closest friends and family and bare your heart to them, suggested psychologist Borrello. That said, keep in mind that since your friends are ultimately #TeamYou, their advice may be a little one-sided.
“Your friends and family will instinctually blame your ex,” he said. “Don’t allow that to get in the way of you investigating the dynamics of the failed relationship and the factors that you contributed to the breakup.”
8. See your divorce as a gift, not a failure.
Once you’ve taken accountability for the part you played in your marriage’s downfall, stop obsessing over why it didn’t last and task yourself with moving on, said Miolla.
“There’s no power in endless obsessing, only judgment and shame — two things that will never serve you well,” she said. “Focus instead on what you are learning from this experience — about yourself, about relationships, about love.”
While you’re at it, remind yourself that you shared some really good times with your ex, too.
“Celebrate that you did love. And you will again,” Miolla said. “Use this experience to define what you want for yourself, what you insist on and what you won’t allow in your life anymore. Divorce can be a gift if it teaches you.”
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Jack Black calls Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott ‘a nutter’ for being against gay marriage
Jack Black calls Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott ‘a nutter’ for being against gay marriage
Actor Jack Black, best known for his comedy films, doesn’t think there’s anything funny about Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s opposition to same-sex marriage.
‘Yeah, he sounds like a bit of a nutter,’ Black said while promoting his new show The Brink on the 2Day Hit 104.1 show.
‘I personally think the guy’s living in the stone ages,’ Black also said. ‘He’s not seeing the writing on the wall. The movement of the world is headed towards equality for all people, all sexual preferences. Come on, we are all the same in the end.’
The push for gay marriage to be legalized in Australia via a free parliamentary vote in the current term of government was defeated Tuesday. Abbott had threatened to sack or demote ministers who decide to vote in support of marriage quality.
The post Jack Black calls Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott ‘a nutter’ for being against gay marriage appeared first on Gay Star News.
Greg Hernandez
Madonna Fans Recreate Her Most Outrageous Feuds
Madonna Fans Recreate Her Most Outrageous Feuds
This is what happens when two Madonna “super fans” try to recreate her most famous feuds and celebrity encounters with Lady GaGa, Mariah Carey, Elton John, Courtney Love, J.Lo and more.
Related: Elton John And Husband David Furnish Reheat Their Old Feud With Madonna Over Golden Globes Loss
Feud on, Madge.
Related: Before Nicki vs. Mariah: 6 Diva Feuds That Rocked Pop Music
Watch below:
Dan Tracer
Watch This Gay Couple Get Degraded and Denied a License (Again) By Lawless Kentucky County Clerks: VIDEO
Watch This Gay Couple Get Degraded and Denied a License (Again) By Lawless Kentucky County Clerks: VIDEO
Earlier today, we reported that staffers in the office of Rowan County, Kentucky clerk Kim Davis were continuing to turn away requests for marriage license from same-sex couples despite a federal judge’s ruling that Davis and her office must comply with the Supreme Court’s decision legalizing same-sex marriage.
Davis, who became a viral video star after a clip of her degrading a gay couple in her office when they came in to get married hit the internet in July, is currently on vacation but her office has reportedly been told to continue to deny gay couples marriage licenses by the anti-gay Christian litigation group Liberty Counsel.
David Moore and David Ermold, the gay couple who were humiliatingly turned away in that viral video, were one of the two same-sex couples to apply for a marriage at the Rowan County office earlier this morning. They filmed the incident go down, which ended up being just as jaw-droppingly obscene this second time around.
Davis has filed a suit against Kentucky governor Steve Beshear whom she alleges violated her religious freedom by insisting she issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
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The post Watch This Gay Couple Get Degraded and Denied a License (Again) By Lawless Kentucky County Clerks: VIDEO appeared first on Towleroad.
Kyler Geoffroy
Same-Sex Couples Sue Florida for Refusing to Issue 'Accurate' Birth Certificates'
A Primer on Gender Identity and Transgender Children
A Primer on Gender Identity and Transgender Children
What is the difference between gender identity and biological gender?
AIDAN KEY: Biological sex is the gender you are assigned at birth. The doctor takes a quick look, says, boy, girl or — hmm — not sure. Gender identity is simply a person’s innate sense of their own gender.
JOE WENKE: Perhaps another way of putting it is that gender identity is how we experience and communicate gender. For most people, gender identity is aligned with biological gender. But for some folks there’s a variance. Those people are transgender, i.e., some are assigned male sex at birth but identify as women, and some are assigned female sex at birth and identify as men.
What typically happens when a child identifies as transgender?
AIDAN KEY: For transgender people, claiming our authentic gender identity is very challenging. For children, that’s especially true. Our voices are silenced very early. Any expression of our true gender has been typically characterized as confusion or even mental instability. The child who declares I am not a boy, I am a girl, often experiences a particularly harsh invalidation of this expression because femininity expressed by males can inspire fear, anger and revulsion, even from parents.
JOE WENKE: Unfortunately, for many transgender people, that treatment continues. In fact, many transgender people are marginalized and victimized throughout life.
Courtesy of Aidan Key
Aidan Key, left, shown with his identical twin sister, Brenda.
Over the years, how has the medical community viewed transgender people?
JOE WENKE: For many years the medical community has pathologized being transgender. For decades they’ve imposed on transgender people the so-called diagnosis of “gender identity disorder.” Now they’re telling transgender people that they suffer from “dysphoria,” meaning that they are necessarily afflicted with discomfort with their bodies when in fact being transgender is an identity, not a disorder.
AIDAN KEY: That is true. So my message to the medical community, to educators and to everyone really is that gender identity exists, and it is not a mental health issue. Once we understand that, we can begin the real work of addressing problematic gender systems in society. Our schools, playgrounds, clothing, toys — you name it — everything is arbitrarily assigned a gender designation. Children articulate at a very early age that our gender systems are unfair and need to be changed. We need to listen to them. We are making progress and are now more tolerant about who can express and what it means to express masculinity. We also need to rethink what it means to be feminine and that it isn’t something to fear when a biological male communicates femininity or actually identifies as a woman.
What is the typical outcome when transgender children are loved and supported by their parents, their siblings and others?
AIDAN KEY: These kids begin to thrive. When families support their child’s gender identity and the exploration of that identity, they create an optimal environment for that child, one that lays the foundation for building a child’s core sense of self.
JOE WENKE: Yes, transgender children are fundamentally just like any other children. They do great when they are loved unconditionally for who they are.
AIDAN KEY: In the work that I’ve done with the families of these transgender children, I’ve witnessed hundreds of kids who have been offered this kind of love and support. I can’t tell you how many amazed parental faces I see as they talk about the positive changes in their children, kids who at 5 or 6 are starting to smile again. They start making friends and improving their grades. They feel they actually have a place in the world as themselves and that they belong just like everybody else.
This post first appeared on BookTrib.com. Aidan Key was a participant in Joe Wenke’s new book, The Human Agenda: Conversations About Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
