As new documentary makes TV premiere on Logo, Matthew Shepard’s father talks to GSN about his son

As new documentary makes TV premiere on Logo, Matthew Shepard’s father talks to GSN about his son

It’s been nearly 17 years since college student Matthew Shepard was abducted and tortured by two men, before being left to die – tied to a fence – near the town of Laramie, Wyoming.

He later died in the hospital from the severe head injuries that he had suffered. He was just 21.

His attackers were arrested and eventually sentenced to two-consecutive life sentences each for one of the most notorious hate crimes in U.S. history.

The documentary, Matt Shepard is a Friend of Mine, explores his life and tragic death and makes its television debut on Logo tonight (27 July) after spending more than a year winning multiple awards on the international film festival circuit.

Many of his friends from different periods of his life are interviewed and previous home movies and never-before-seen photos are featured. There are also excerpts from his journals chronicling difficult periods in his life and how at the time of his death, he was finally in a good place.

The film was directed by Shepard’s high school friend Michele Josue who had the full cooperation of his parents, Dennis and Judy Shepard.

‘Judy entrusted me with a small box of all their home movies, his letters and own words and writings provide ‘a really amazing through line across the whole film where you can really hear Matt’s voice ‘and he can tell his story in his way, with his words,’ Josue told Gay Star News recently.

Dennis said he and his wife knew their son’s story would be in good hands.

‘We knew that what she would give us would be a pretty honest portrayal and was even better than we expected,’ he said. ‘We trusted her implicitly.’

The Shepards saw the film for the first time at a screening in Amsterdam in late 2013.

‘I think the hardest thing the first time was just to see him again and hear his voice and see his smile and then, he’s gone,’ the father said.

At that screening they learned for the first time what was in their son’s journals which they had not been able to bring themselves to open.

‘To see that he was so prolific and he was so in depth with his thoughts and feelings was a real sad and proud moment at the same time to see and read those,’ Dennis Shepard said. ‘All his letters and stuff, we’d never opened them. We didn’t have the courage to go through it and bring that heartache up again. But we didn’t want to throw them away because we’d be throwing away Matt. So we put them away. So this was the perfect opportunity to let the world know more about him through his own writings.

‘We were shocked about the journaling and we were also shocked that he was afraid to come out to us after we had tried to be so open. I think it was just the culture around Wyoming and around the world.’

For the father, being interviewed in the film and helping to promote it has brought up many emotions.

‘It was nice to think about those things again and to think about the good times that we had. And some of the stresses and struggles that he had at the same time. You think about the guilt that you have because you weren’t there to help him in some of those struggles. … You feel the guilt that you weren’t there when he was out there in that field by himself, that’s the thing that really bothers me. Was he asking for dad to come take care of him like he used to?’

It’s clear that no many how many years pass, the loss is ever present.

‘You never make progress, you’re always mourning,’ the father said. ‘You always have that hole. You don’t have the same joy when it comes to mother’s Day and Father’s Day and birthdays and Christmas. You always have that little bit of mourning that you’re doing and grieving. But you have to go on with your life. You can’t just shelter up in the corner. Matt wouldn’t have wanted that and I refuse to do it because then the bad guys win.’

The family created The Matthew Shepard Foundation shortly after their son’s death and worked tirelessly for more than a decade to get federal hate crimes legislation passed.

Dennis and Judy Shepard, married for 42 years, have also traveled to 18 counties in recent years for the US State Department to talk about equal rights and bullying and discrimination.

‘We were forced into (activism),’ Dennis Shepard said. ‘We didn’t know anything about the gay issues. Matt was our son, that’s all we knew. We didn’t know that he’d have to fear for his life, that he couldn’t get a job if he was gay, we didn’t know any of these issues. It just really upset us to find this out – all these kids with no chance to succeed because they are considered different. That is just not right.’

By the time Josue came to them with her film proposal, they knew it was the right time and that his close high school friend was the right person to see it through.

‘When Matt died I was already in film school and interested in telling stories,’ she said. ‘I was watching our friend Matt become something else – this very enormous icon for the gay community but one that was tied to this horrific violence. So that was also very heartbreaking for me in addition to the way he was attacked and I thought as his friend and as a filmmaker, it was my duty to share with the world Matt’s story in an honest, sensitive way in which it deserved to be told.

‘It honestly took many, many years to gain enough courage and professional experience to feel comfortable. It was the first time I had lost a friend and it was a lot to kind of deal with.’

In 2009, Judy Shepard’s book The Meaning of Matthew: My Son’s Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed was released and later that year, the United States Congress passed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act which was signed into law by President Barack Obama.

It was around that that time Josue felt ready to begin working on the film.

‘I think myself and a lot of his close friends, collectively, kind of came to a point where we felt strong enough to do this. Judy’s book came out in 2009 and we were just kind of using that as inspiration really. She put it all out there in the book in a very bold, courageous way – in an honest way – and we just wanted to follow suit.’

At a lunch that year, Judy Shepard gave her blessing and filming began in 2010 on and off for two years. Two Kickstarter crowd-funding campaigns were needed to cover costs and $100,000 was raised.

Josue said she had to fight the perception that people felt they had seen Matt’s story already and that it was ‘old news and that there wasn’t anything new that they would gain from watching it.’

But once audiences started seeing the film, that changed.

‘People were responding and wanting to learn more about Matt’s story and being effected still,’ she said.

Dennis Shepard is very pleased with the finished product.

‘This is an honest, factual portrayal of Matt with his highs and very low lows,’ the father said. ‘For people to understand that you can have these very low lows but you can come back out of those. You just have to keep fighting and he was on his way and he did not give up.

‘He was not this perfect child, he was far from perfect – he was a pain in the butt to his father. But at the same time he was so caring and so loving to his family and his friends that it just made for a well-rounded individual with flaws and good points. They give the honest facts about Matt, about the community and how Matt affected and influenced his friends at that time and even up to today. It’s pretty incredible the impact that he’s had.’

The post As new documentary makes TV premiere on Logo, Matthew Shepard’s father talks to GSN about his son appeared first on Gay Star News.

Greg Hernandez

www.gaystarnews.com/article/as-new-documentary-makes-tv-premiere-on-logo-matthew-shepards-father-talks-to-gsn-about-his-son/

Exactly What Percentage Of The World’s Population Is Asexual?

Exactly What Percentage Of The World’s Population Is Asexual?

Screen shot 2015-07-27 at 2.03.35 PMWhat is an asexual anyway?

According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, asexuality is “the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality.”

Anthony F. Bogaert is an “asexuality expert.” In 2004 he conducted a study and found that as many as 1% of the world’s population is asexual.

Now, in a recent column published by The Independent, Bogaert argues that despite the growing acceptance of LGBT people around the world, society still has a long way to go before before it will be ready to embrace asexuality as an actual sexual orientation, which is unfortunate because he believes asexuality could have a positive influence on our sex-crazed world.

“Examining asexuality also can afford a clear view on how deeply infused sex is in our society,” he writes. “From the pervasiveness of sex in the media to our enduring interest in gossip on the sex lives of others. We also may begin to see more clearly the strange and often mad complexity of sex, with its jealousies, obsessions, and distortions of reality.”

He continues: “Sex is unquestionably part of the great story of human life – our means of reproduction and a deep source of passion and pleasure for many – but it is also a strange and mad world at times, and one that is better understood if we take a glimpse or two from the outside.”

What do you think? Does society need to do a better job embracing asexuals? Sound off in the comments section below. 

Graham Gremore

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Anti-gay Blogger’s Seattle Straight Pride Parade Ends in Epic Fail

Anti-gay Blogger’s Seattle Straight Pride Parade Ends in Epic Fail

Screen Shot 2015-07-27 at 1.53.09 PM

Blogger Anthony Rebello, known for calling gay marriage a “cry for attention,” was the sole participant in a straight pride parade he created and held at Seattle’s Capitol Hill Saturday reports The Huffington Post.

Rebello wrote a blog post on June 27, a day after nationwide marriage equality passed, for his website Smile Me A River calling same-sex marriage a distraction and money ploy:

“I think it’s a trend. A cry for attention. From your government, a distraction. For $. I have previously stated how I feel about marriage in this post: MARRIAGE I have also created an event: Heterosexual Parade Gay Mafia? Maybe animals should be allowed to get married? Would they govern and tax them too? While they’re at it, how about equal rights for insects? In my opinion, there is a difference between a man and a woman. If you can’t appreciate those differences, you can’t enjoy those differences. I don’t agree with boys turning into girls, and I don’t agree with girls turning into boys. The word/meaning of ‘Pride’ doesn’t belong to the gay/lgbt community, it belongs to everyone. That includes us good old fashioned straight people. The way I see it, in my opinion, some boys never turn into men, and some girls never turn into women. What a shitshow. ‘Welcome to the other side of the rainbow’ Really? No thanks.”

Although Rebello managed to get 169 participants to say yes to an initial Facebook invite of the event, Rebello was the only one marching on Saturday, holding black and white balloons along with a straight pride sign.

Poor bigot…

(Photo via Facebook)

The post Anti-gay Blogger’s Seattle Straight Pride Parade Ends in Epic Fail appeared first on Towleroad.


Anthony Costello

Anti-gay Blogger’s Seattle Straight Pride Parade Ends in Epic Fail

13 Women On Why They Quit Online Dating To Find Love IRL

13 Women On Why They Quit Online Dating To Find Love IRL

When online dating works, it can be a great way to connect with lots of people you wouldn’t have otherwise met. But when it doesn’t, the experience can send you down the everyone-is-awful-so-I’m-probably-dying-alone spiral.

Despite its popularity, not everyone’s experience with online dating is positive. Plenty of women are opting out of the “efficiency” of the swipping world, instead choosing to find a date the old-fashioned way.

So what exactly is driving these daters to delete their profiles? We asked the members of our Facebook community why they left online dating to find love IRL. Here’s what they had to say:

1. “Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile.”

 “I was constantly overthinking what I had typed in my profile or what I was sending in a message to a guy. When I would see something in a guy’s profile that he liked in a woman, I would think ‘Hey! That’s me! Maybe? Is it? Yeah!’ I would try to edit my profile to be what I thought guys wanted. I would type, delete, type again, delete, etc., like I didn’t know who I was in real life. Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile, and I decided it wasn’t worth the stress and sacrifice of losing and/or hiding who I am.”

2. “There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies.”

“I was sick of constant disappointment or men that wanted to text forever. Or men that were so self-focused. Everything was scheduled and planned forever. There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies. What’s the point? I’d rather meet a great guy randomly and organically than deal with the constant rejection and exhaustion.”

3.  ”Everything feels forced.”

“You just don’t get that spark that you do when you know you like someone and it’s instant and wonderful. With online dating, everything feels forced. It’s like you try to put a face to the person you’re talking to, but it just feels like this contrived entity. You really have no idea who they are and what they’re about or if you have any chemistry. You’re just asking these basic questions wondering when it’s cool to really be yourself. But that’s the thing — you can’t really be yourself online.” 

4. “It required a lot more time and energy than I expected.” 

“Online dating gave me exactly what I wanted: practice going on dates with strangers and trusting my instincts about the men I met. What I did not like was that it felt extremely contrived, as if I was online shopping. There was nothing romantic or spontaneous about it, and it required a lot more time and energy than I expected. I recommend online dating for practice if you haven’t dated in a while, but ultimately, I think the chances of meeting someone great are small and require a whole lot of effort.”

5.  “Some are weird, some are looking for kinky sex partners and some are wacko.”

“I’m a Baby Boomer who never thought she’d be single at 60. I’ve tried online dating sites —  a lot of them! I met one guy from California that I flew out to spend time with only to learn he was looking for a woman to support his lazy behind. Actually, that’s what I found most times. Or they are sick and want a woman to be their nurse. No, thank you! Some are weird, some are looking for kinky sex partners and some are wacko. I’ve decided that I’m better off alone — eHarmony.com, Match.com and Ourtime.com can get rich off someone else’s money, not mine.”

6. “I got a stalker.” 

“I got a stalker. My warning to women: If you have a unique name, do not post your first name or even your last initial on your profile ANYWHERE (even in your user name). Do not post your age, and if you live in a smaller town or city, say you live in the closest big city to you. My stalker situation wasn’t as extreme as some, but it irked me enough to get a lawyer which I’m glad I did.”

7.  “Some immediately began asking about my sexual turn-ons.”

“I just got tired of all the annoying messages I was receiving. Some immediately began asking about my sexual turn-ons, fantasies and other weird comments/questions. It got to the point where any message at all would just annoy me.”

8.  “I  would get between 30 to 50 messages daily, and maybe two or three were normal conversations.”

“I would get between 30 to 50 messages daily, and maybe two or three were normal conversations from normal-seeming guys. Most were complimenting my appearance and asking for sex. A few dates resulted in attempted rape, a ‘stage-5 clinger,’ and a bunch of insecure guys who ended up telling me I was a ‘teasing whore’ when I didn’t feel a connection.”

9.  “Men online are crass and crude.”

“Men online are crass and crude. It’s worse than being at a bar with the unsolicited dick pictures and sexually charged introductions — ‘You look like you take it up the ass.’ Men have become bolder and not in a good way. They are able to hide behind gadgets and feel that they can be completely disrespectful. Also, when you tell men you aren’t interested, they respond with, ‘Whatever, bitch, you’re ugly anyway.’ to which I responded, ‘I was ugly when you initially sent me a message, prick.'”

10. “You have to be a complete drop-dead gorgeous show-stopper to get anything out of it.”

You have to be a complete drop-dead gorgeous show-stopper to get anything out of it. My friend is a fitness instructor, she was dating someone within a week. I have yet to get a date after trying four options. Guys would chat with me, then disappear, never to ask me out. I even tried starting conversations. I finally had a date set up after my sister secretly signed me up and landed him, and he didn’t show. It’s too artificial — you’re judging solely on looks.

11.  “I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut.”

I gave up on online dating, because I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut. I replied with, ‘If you can’t tell the difference between a man and woman, there is no hope for you and you should probably delete your profile.’ I then received the response, ‘I’m just saying…there are some he-she’s on here and you gotta be careful.

12. “Every time I suggested getting together, he seemed to stop messaging me and/or avoid the question.” 

“I had been messaging with a very attractive man who said he was a firefighter, which is my weakness. We spoke for a while, but something did not feel right as I was talking to him. Every time I suggested getting together, he seemed to stop messaging me and/or avoid the question. I got the idea to try and figure out how to reverse image through Google, dropped his picture in and bam — the pictures were linked to an Instagram account in England of a semi-famous personal trainer. Every picture he ever used was from this site, and I immediately felt violated and betrayed. I reported him, blocked his number, deleted any account I could think of that may have my information on it in the online dating world and swore off of it for good.”

13. “Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger.” 

“I’m 47 and I have a 5-year-old, so I’m not your average middle-aged woman.  Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger, or if they are my age, they want someone who doesn’t have young kids. Being in this age bracket, I tend to get interest from men that are in their 50’s and 60’s — generally not what I’m looking for. Also, I found that it was mostly guys looking for hookups or married guys that wanted to fool around. I received one unsolicited dick pic and I was done.”

Also On HuffPost:

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Raven-Symone, 29, thinks Caitlyn Jenner, 65, is moving too fast

Raven-Symone, 29, thinks Caitlyn Jenner, 65, is moving too fast

Caitlyn Jenner has been getting widespread praise for making her new docu-series I Am Cait about educating the world about transgender issues.

Raven-Symone seems to have a problem with that.

‘When I came out, I didn’t go and go hardcore and be like, “I’m going to save the world for LGBT,”‘ The View co-host said on Monday’s episode of the talk show.

‘You’ve got to learn it. You’ve got to learn it first, and she’s not, really.’

The former Bruce Jenner re-introduced herself as Caitlyn on the cover of Vanity Fair on 1 June, two months after confirming she is transgender in an interview with Diane Sawyer.

Symone, 29, came out in 2013 and is in a relationship with a woman but does not identify herself as lesbian or bisexual. Instead, she prefers to be known as a human who loves humans.

‘Beforehand, I was definitely repping the community, even when I wasn’t saying this is what I was. And I’m not faulting you because yes, we need you. It’s too fast, too soon.’

Symone says she herself is not a gay rights activist: ‘I can’t be. I learned from the real gay rights activists. I can only do what I can.’

The post Raven-Symone, 29, thinks Caitlyn Jenner, 65, is moving too fast appeared first on Gay Star News.

Greg Hernandez

www.gaystarnews.com/article/raven-symone-29-thinks-caitlyn-jenner-65-is-moving-too-fast/

Why Conservatives Should Shut Up And Accept Marriage Equality

Why Conservatives Should Shut Up And Accept Marriage Equality

Screen Shot 2015-07-27 at 11.48.30 AMHere’s one advantage to federally recognized marriage equality even the staunchest conservative should be able to get behind: an end to government spending on obstructing the arc of the moral universe.

And we’re not talking chump change. In just one case, The Detroit Press reports the sate of Michigan has essentially lit $2 million in taxpayer cheddar on fire in its fruitless quest to prevent April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse and any couple like them (you know, gay ones) from getting married or adopting children. And that’s not even including what it cost them to argue against the plaintiffs.

DeBoer and Rowse’s lawyers are asking a judge to require the state to cough up for the six lawyers, plus seven law clerks, multiple paralegals and experts from Boston, New York, San Francisco and Lansing it took to win the case, which dragged on for three years.

The suit was even presented as part of the argument against state bans on same-marriage in the Supreme Court case. Good going, Michigan.

“This says we are people. We are establishing families and we’re just like everyone else,” Rowse said of the SCOTUS decision, according to MLive. “We’re the next door neighbor, we’re your co-worker, we’re your sister, we’re your friend, we’re your child, and we do deserve the same rights as everyone else and our kids deserve the same rights. We’re starting to see the discrimination just shouldn’t be there.”

In January, The Detroit Press reported that Michigan faced a mid-year deficit of $325 million.

How many other pointless and costly battles have they been fighting?

h/t RawStory

 

Dan Tracer

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News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes

News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes

> Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking join call for ban on artificially intelligent weapons.

newyork> Australia’s Labor Party says it will bind federal MPs to vote for same-sex marriage after the next two elections.

> New York magazine features powerful image of the “unwelcome sisterhood” of Bill Cosby’s accusers.

> Mayor of northern Russian city of Arkhangelsk breaks promise to LGBT community, rejects request for pride parade.

> Shocker: Donald Trump’s surge heavily reliant on less-educated, racist Americans.

> Caitlyn Jenner pens emotional blog post about the plight of trans suicide. “And it’s not because trans people are somehow inherently unstable – it’s because we live in a world that makes it very, very difficult to be trans. Many people, especially kids, can’t see how they can live as their authentic selves and keep their family, their jobs and their homes.”

joslin> Male model Monday: Justice Joslin.

> Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Scott Walker vie to become Koch brothers puppets.

> Rick Perry wants you to bring your guns into movie theaters.

> Amanda Bynes surfaces in public to attend fashion show.

> Turns out Henry Cavill won’t be joining Fifty Shades Darker after all.

> Snoop Dog got arrested in Sweden over the weekend.

> Obama slams GOP criticism of Iran nuclear deal as “ridiculous” and “sad.”

android> Nearly 1 billion Android phones can be hacked with a single text.

> Bobbi Kristina Brown’s autopsy finds no significant injuries and no underlying cause of death.

> Dan Savage on the “not gay men” who have “not gay sexwith other “not gay men.”

> 23 Pixels reviews that are more fun than the movie itself.

The post News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes appeared first on Towleroad.


Kyler Geoffroy

News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes

Millennial Men Should Stop Worrying About Penis Size, Survey Suggests

Millennial Men Should Stop Worrying About Penis Size, Survey Suggests

Does penis size really matter? According to many young women, it doesn’t at all. 

In a survey conducted by Cosmopolitan, 1,100 readers between the ages of 18 and 34 were polled on various sex topics from penis size to orgasms. Of those polled, 96 percent were women and 4 percent were men, and it turns out many of them — 89 percent to be exact — aren’t too worried about their partner’s penis size.

They also were pretty realistic when it came to the average penis. Fifty-two percent said the average man’s flaccid penis is 3 to 4 inches, and 51 percent said the average man’s erect penis is 5 to 6 inches. According to the survey, the average lengths are 3.5 and 5.1 inches, respectively.

As for their sex lives, 31 percent of survey participants said they don’t always orgasm from penetration during sex, but regularly do, while 33 percent said it was rare.

So what about their sexual satisfaction? That could use some work. Fifty-three percent said they want their sex lives to be better, and 6 percent said they weren’t satisfied at all. 

So, straight dudes, don’t worry too much about your size — just make sure you know what your partner wants. 

Check out more from Cosmopolitan’s survey below.

H/T Cosmopolitan

Also on HuffPost:

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