Homophobic nurse tries to stop gay parents adopting their son

Gay dad Andy Miller from South Houston, Texas, has revealed the chilling circumstances surrounding his son’s birth.

Speaking as part of the ‘I’m From Driftwood’ project, a story-telling community for LGBTI individuals, Andy explained the journey he and his partner took on the way to becoming parents.

After getting on well with the birth mother and her family, Andy and his partner were all set to collect their son from hospital after he was born.

But while the pair left the hospital to allow the mother to recover, a nurse threatened to derail the adoption process by asking a series of homophobic questions.

Andy described the moment he received a panicked call from the birth mother.

‘We rushed back to the hospital and she starts telling us that one of the nurses that was assigned to her to come in and check all of her sutures started asking her a lot of questions, starting with, “Aren’t you the girl that’s giving your baby up for adoption?” which is a huge red flag for us,’ he said.

‘We went through adoption class and anyone who uses that term like ‘giving up a baby’ is already coming to that conversation with some judgment.’

As well as using unhelpful language, Andy explained the nurse asked their birth mother if she was afraid her son would hate her for allowing him to be adopted by a gay couple.

She also asked: ‘Aren’t you afraid those boys are going to hurt that baby, aren’t you afraid that he’s not going to grow up and be normal?’

Despite their birth mother being visibly shaken, a social worker helped her decide whether or not to place her child with the couple.

Eventually, she decided to stick with her original decision, and now Andy and his partner are the proud fathers to a little boy.

Andy added: ‘No one’s given an easy ride when a child enters the world. There’s always two things that happen: Money exchanges hands and there is pain.

‘It’s just a question of how those two things happen.

‘And for the LGBT community, a lot of times the way it happens for us is, money exchanges hands between the adoption agency and prospective parents. And the pain is oftentimes emotional.

‘It’s not physical pain that comes with the birth. But we’re all kind of more alike than different in that regard.’

Watch Andy’s full video below:

The post Homophobic nurse tries to stop gay parents adopting their son appeared first on Gay Star News.

Mel Spencer

www.gaystarnews.com/article/homophobic-nurse-tries-to-stop-gay-parents-adopting-their-son/

Conservative Groups Urge Alabama Supreme Court to Defy SCOTUS Marriage Ruling

SCOTUSblog’s Lyle Denniston reports on a disturbing development in the Deep South’s ongoing fight against nationwide marriage equality.

Asked by the Alabama Supreme Court for advice on how to respond to the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage, the Alabama Policy Institution and the inter-denominational church support group Alabama Citizens Action Program have both urged for direct and indirect resistance.

Denniston writes:

Three days after the Supreme Court issued its ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges, the state court asked the two groups and two probate judges directly involved in the case for their views on the effect of the Supreme Court decision on the state court’s earlier action.  The two probate judges said in short briefs that the state court had to respect and follow the binding ruling of the Supreme Court — the same position that Alabama’s attorney general has taken.

But the two organization leading the challenge before the state court used a combination of arguments — points made by the dissenting Justices in the Obergefell decision on the errors they found  in the majority ruling, the protests of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., against “unjust laws,” and a series of Wisconsin Supreme Court rulings defying the Supreme Court in a mid-nineteenth-century runaway slave case — to persuade the state judges to treat the Obergefell ruling as not binding on them.

Denniston adds that “depending on what the state court now does, it could set up a new federal-state collision that potentially could go to the Supreme Court.”

Presumably though, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore doesn’t even need this outside advice on why it’s a “good” idea to break the law as his Foundation for Moral Law has already pledged to defy the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage.

Read the defiant brief below:
 

The post Conservative Groups Urge Alabama Supreme Court to Defy SCOTUS Marriage Ruling appeared first on Towleroad.

Kyler Geoffroy

Conservative Groups Urge Alabama Supreme Court to Defy SCOTUS Marriage Ruling

'Not All Mommies Love Their Babies The Way I Love You'
It happened a few weeks ago when we were all in the car. The kids sat in the back talking about Wario and how his farts could KO an opponent. (Yes, my children play way too much Nintendo Smash Bros. And no, I have no idea if Wario can actually KO with flatulence alone… and I’m not sure if I want to.) My husband and I were in the front listening to NPR. They were talking about the Duggar family, specifically Josh Duggar and his admission of guilt to the molestation charges against him. Everything about the made (makes) me furious: The focus on the perpetrator and not his victims; the fact that the perpetrator in question was the executive director of the FRC’s lobbying group, the “Family” Research Council — the organization that prides itself in perpetuating lies and hate about gay people. Gay people like my oldest son. The one, with his brothers, providing the snorting laughter soundtrack to the news and my fury.

“I hope none of those kids are gay,” I said quietly, thinking of the 19 Duggar children.

My husband put his hand on my knee. “I know. Me too.”

“Who do you hope isn’t gay?” my oldest son asked.

If you don’t have children, you might not know that selective hearing is a real thing. When I tell my children to pick up their socks and put them down the chute, I get no response. When I announce it’s time for bed, nothing. When I tell them eating their vegetables is not optional, nada. But when I hit my funny bone on the counter in an empty kitchen and say “Fuck!” under my breath, instantly, a little boy voice from the other side of the house will holler, “Mom said a bad word! The really bad one!” The traitorous little monsters.

I sighed. Damned selective hearing. I didn’t want to have this conversation. Not again. I’ve talked to my son a number of times about how there are people who don’t like gay people. It’s a matter of safety and security. No matter how much his own life is full of rainbow advocates, he needs to know about the real world. So, I fight against that maternal instinct that makes me want to wrap him in breathable bubble wrap and protect him from all the bad parts of the world, and I grit my teeth and tell him. And although he nods gravely in all the right places, I don’t think he really believes me. It’s just not his world.

“There is this family,” I said, “and they have a whole lot of kids, but they believe in God and Jesus in way that makes them think being gay is bad and wrong. I don’t want any of their kids to be gay because it would be really hard for them in that family.”

“But that doesn’t matter,” he states in that my-mother-is-the-stupidest-person-in-the-world voice. “If they’re gay, it doesn’t matter what they think.”

And I sigh again. Because he is right. I would love it if gay kids were only born to parents who love and celebrate them, but that’s not what happens.

“Some parents get sad and angry when their kids are gay. They have a really hard time with it.”

“Yeah,” he said, “but why is it hard?”

I struggled. “Not all mommies love their babies the way I love you.”

“Like your mom?” he asked.

And my heart stopped. I was thrown back to the last time I had heard myself say those words. We were in the car again, over five years ago. My son was in kindergarten and obsessed with the relationships of everyone in his life.

“Grandma and Grandpa are Daddy’s mommy and daddy. Uncle Harold is your brother, and Papa is your daddy,” he recited to me then paused. “And you don’t have a mommy.”

His words struck me. The cold hard truth of them chilled me. My mother is not part of our lives. It was a tough decision, but one I had to make for my children and myself. I no longer have a relationship with her, and neither do my kids.

“I do have a mommy, but we don’t see her.”

“Why not?”

“Well,” I started and stopped, not knowing how to explain mental illness to my 5-year-old. “Not all mommies love their babies the way I love you.”

Back in the present day, I was silent for a few moments. “Yeah,” I finally said, my voice thick, “kind of like that.”

“Your mom hurt you,” he said.

“Yeah, she did.”

“She hurt your heart and made you cry.”

I turned around to look at him, and in his eyes was a depth that went well beyond the short decade he’s lived. I nodded. “Yes, she did.” I then looked at my middle son and saw his huge hazel eyes swimming with tears. I took his little hand in mine and squeezed it. “I love you,” I said looking straight into his watery gaze. I turned to our youngest, quiet in the back seat. “I love you,” I said to him.

“I love you, too, Mama,” he smiled back at me, not a care in the world.

And then I turned back to my oldest. “I love you.”

He looked at me in silence for a minute. “I know.” And for the first time, I could tell he understood.

Sometimes people ask me if it is hard having a gay kid. Having kids is hard. No matter the kids, no matter the parents, raising children is really, really hard. But my kid being gay isn’t even on the top of the list of the things that worry me the most. I talk to teachers more about my middle son being bullied for being a nerd. I put more mental effort toward helping my oldest son with his learning disability. I spend more hours wondering if my youngest will ever regularly sleep through the night. I put more effort on all of those things than I do having a gay kid. My kid, all my kids, are awesome and beautiful and crazy and frustrating. They are my kids. That’s the way it is supposed to be. I am their mother and I love them. That’s the way it is supposed to be.

The toughest conversation I ever had with them was that one right there. In the car, what started with undirected anger at a stranger and religious hate and ended with explaining to my children that I know, really know, what it is like when something other than love guides mothering. And seeing that they understood. I don’t want them to understand things like that. But that’s not the world we live in.

People use all kinds of excuses to not love their children, not the way they deserve to be loved. And none of them are OK.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Asians respond to question: ‘Would you tell your parents if you were gay?’

Asian adults have revealed how their parents would respond if they came out as gay, in a video created to educate others about Asian culture and values.

Titled ‘Would You Tell Your Parents If You Were Gay’, in English, Chinese, Korean and Japanese, a range of adults of all ages answer three important questions: ‘What do Asians think of same-sex marriage?’, ‘Would you you tell your parents if you were gay?’ and ‘What would you do if your son or daughter was gay/lesbian?’

When asked whether she come out to her parents, if she were gay, one participant responded:

‘I think that parents, really Asian parents, are not really very good at dealing with this kind of news.’

Another revealed: ‘I think it would be hard for some people to come around.’

‘I heard ones where he’s completely ostracised, very disappointed.’

She even revealed the extent to which gay people are willing to go to conceal their sexuality.

‘Have you heard about how two lesbians and two gays got married to each other? And they live next to each other, and when the parents come, they switch houses? So, that’s how they get around it in some ways.’

One father even implied he would take his child to receive psychological help if they were to come out.

‘I would be totally shocked,’ he said.

‘Maybe I would bring him or her to see some people.’

Another mother explained her fears about keeping her son, if he were gay, at an all boys’ school.

‘Luckily, at present, he is straight,’ she said.

‘But if those things happen, I’m open-minded, I would respect his opinion. I wouldn’t have any discrimination or any strong opposition to that.’

As an Asian woman, she explained, she would be surprised and shocked, as being gay goes against her custom and tradition.

Despite many negative attitudes, some video participants were more accepting.

‘It’s up to the younger people to do their research and see if they can change the minds of the generations before them,’ one woman explained.

Watch the full video below:

The post Asians respond to question: ‘Would you tell your parents if you were gay?’ appeared first on Gay Star News.

Mel Spencer

www.gaystarnews.com/article/asians-respond-to-question-would-you-tell-your-parents-if-you-were-gay/

PHOTOS: See Sexy Portuguese Pups Let Loose In Lisbon

Trumps is the largest gay nightclub in Portugal, boasting two dance floors, a huge bar, and some seriously fine clientele. Dirty Pop is the latest weekly party night to inhabit this hopping Lisbon hot spot and, as you can see, things tend to get a little cray cray. It sort of reminds us of Madonna’s “Bitch I’m Madonna” music video. Minus Madonna, of course. Though her music can be heard ringing through the club’s massive speaker system all night long.

Scroll down for pictures from the party, and check out the entire colorful gallery over at GayCities…

Photo credit: Marcia Raposo

Graham Gremore

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