House Music Icon Celebrates Sobriety and a Remix on Life

House Music Icon Celebrates Sobriety and a Remix on Life
As of the last day of 2014, recording artist RaShaan Houston’s Facebook fan page had just shy of 1,000 subscribers, a quantifiable measurement for a record year in which he performed at Chicago Pride and on the Hydrate Stage at Northalsted Market Days, struck a celebrity endorsement deal with Insurgent Couture clothing line, planned upcoming collaborative projects with legendary house vocalist Dajae and Motown fixture Mary Wilson of The Supremes, and hit No. 1 on Traxsource’s Jackin House Essentials chart with his reissued classic house hit “Be With You,” also available on iTunes.

2014-12-31-Houston_2.jpg
Kenn Doc Morris/2014

But since he reserves his fan page for promotional purposes, some of Houston’s followers might not know that Dec. 31 also marked seven months of sobriety for this veteran entertainer, who admits that consuming alcohol had been a regular feature of his life since he first started performing in nightclubs at age 21.

“I was doing the music thing,” he says. “I was a regular at the club, performing at all the clubs and traveling. I would drink regularly because I was always around it.”

Now he’s eager to tell the story of his journey to sobriety and how it paved the way for his recent successes in the hope that it will help others avoid some of the same problems he’s experienced as a result of substance use:

It might go in one ear and out the other, but I’m just saying it because of what’s happened in the past, this year especially: You’re going to come out of it if you really just believe you’re going to come out of it. It’s that thing of mind over matter, as corny as that may sound. People say it all the time. I really understand it now.

Houston turned 40 last March, but in a recent hour-long phone conversation, he didn’t mention his landmark birthday as a reason for choosing sobriety. Instead he credits his “second mother,” the late, great drag queen and pageant titleholder Tajma Hall, who for 11 years gave him one repetitive, powerful piece of advice: focus.

Houston says that when Hall died shortly afterward on April 19 from heart complications at the young age of 44, he was by her side in the hospital “every single day” for the week before her death, during which she reminded him, “If you just focus all your energy where it needs to be, on your music, on the people who really care about you, not just those pretending so they can get what they want from you, you’re going to feel so much better.”

At that point, Houston had already identified alcohol as the common denominator in many situations that had launched his life into a vicious downward spiral, and he’d tried to give it up at least twice before. He says Hall told him, “Don’t drink. It’s not the devil, but it’s not for everybody. I don’t think it’s for you right now.”

Then he blacked out the night of her memorial, which, as the oldest of a chosen family of about three dozen Hall “children” from all across the globe, he’d been instrumental in arranging, when he “went out to make the rounds” with friends and family after the service:

One of my friends had to recap for me everything that had happened the night before, which I still don’t remember now, and so that’s when I made the decision: “Clearly you’ve identified the common denominator as alcohol. You can never allow that to happen again.”

But blocking out uncomfortable feelings had been drinking’s main attraction for Houston, who admits to using alcohol as a coping mechanism to forget about the pressure of always being on stage in social scenes — even when he wasn’t performing. It was a key ingredient for dulling the effects of the end of a bad relationship and was highly effective in keeping him from accepting the traumatic losses of his brother in 2005 and his father in 2012, until the unbearable emotional weight triggered a complete collapse in December 2013:

I didn’t believe I was going to come out of it. I thought this was the final act, really. “You’ve lost this person. You’ve lost that person. This has happened, this setback. Your heart is broken. You’re done. It’s a laugh. Nobody wants to hear your music. Nobody cares about you.” Part of it is [that] when you’re in situations with people you shouldn’t be in situations with, they kind of drill that in your head.

Six months after his breakdown, he was back on stage at Chicago Pride, sober, anticipating the release of “Be With You 2014”:

That was the first time a lot of people had seen me since mid December. I had a totally different look. I’d lost all this weight…. For two years I was focused on other things that took away from my artistry, and I really didn’t think I had it in me anymore.

RaShaan Houston live on Hydrate Stage for Northalsted Market Days, Aug. 9, 2014

Houston’s sobriety is important to me not only because I can relate personally — two years ago I gave up alcohol for my birthday, and as for Houston, it was not the first time I’d tried — and not just because we’ve been a part of each other’s story since the night we met at The Pulse nightclub in Albuquerque during Pride in 1998, when he jumped off stage to serenade me and a few other clubbers personally with his then-unreleased first single, “The Right Way.” Houston’s development as an artist is intrinsically entwined in the club history of Albuquerque, where he grew up and went to high school after his evangelist father moved his family there from Houston’s birthplace of Pueblo, Colorado, in 1985.

So it’s no small thing that one of Houston’s lasting contributions to his hometown’s social scene before relocating to Chicago, “the Mecca of house music,” was his involvement in helping the owners of Effex Night Club — the city’s well-established premier dance club — open their doors for Pride 2010. As I wrote here on HuffPost in 2012, simply opening the new venue demonstrated the entrepreneurs’ commitment to providing the gay community with a welcoming place to dance and fraternize.

But Houston’s triumph over one of the primary elements of nightlife — intoxication — paints a revealing portrait of some of the unintended side effects of this sort of social setting:

It was how we socialized, inside and outside of the club, because I was always around club people. It’s not necessarily that every person in the club is a drinker. But the ones I happened to be around, that’s how we socialized.

This tendency in certain social circles is clear in some of the reactions Houston has received from others regarding his sobriety, and it’s one of the reasons that, these days, he only stays in clubs long enough to perform, not hang out:

Numerous people I’ve met just don’t understand it. There’s one person specifically who said, “I just don’t trust a person who doesn’t drink. Not even a little bit? Not even the holidays? Nothing? People who don’t drink are confusing to me. It’s so sneaky. Everyone else is drunk and you’re not? I just don’t get it.”

I feel that statements like this reveal the codependence that people employ in their alcohol use, since their consumption is determined by that of everyone else around them. Similarly, I see “I only drink socially” as a neon warning sign pointing to problem drinkers, especially those who deny that they have a problem for that very reason and hail it as their mantra every time they go out for a drink, for which they will be sure to surround themselves with others who drink, or will go ahead and drink anyway when they can’t. And I almost always observe those who swear by the one-drink rule ordering two or three before the night is done.

Houston realizes that choosing sobriety is more about gaining something than giving something up, and this keeps concerns of relapse well at bay:

I’m just really committed to being the best I can, now that I’ve got a taste of what I really can be like. There’s always flashes of that greatness in there, and then you finally remove everything and everybody that may diminish from that or keep you from that. Now that I’m getting a taste of that, it’s enough motivation for me to stay in this place.

For this iconic artist who says that winning the Grammy he knows is waiting for him will be the pinnacle of his life’s work — and for everyone else working toward their own Grammys — Houston’s inspiring story clearly illustrates the right way.

www.huffingtonpost.com/blake-driver/house-music-icon-celebrat_b_6402046.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Florida Homophobes Sulk In Shadows As Marriages Commence

Florida Homophobes Sulk In Shadows As Marriages Commence

Gay Wedding KissPerhaps the greatest wedding gift of all is how silent all the homophobes in Florida suddenly seem to have gotten. Marriage started across the state this morning (and in a few places Monday night) and all of a sudden the Pam Bondis of the world don’t seem to have anything to say.

It wasn’t long ago that the bigots were making all kinds of noise about “sanctity” and “tradition” and “man and woman.” But with hundreds of gay and lesbian couples blissfully getting married, those talking points don’t really seem to have the weight they once did. Now Pam Bondi’s simply saying that she won’t stand in the way, and would-be GOP presidential candidate is Jeb Bush is urging respect. This is the political equivalent of a villain twirling their mustache unhappily and slinking back under a rock.

One of the only major antigay groups still making any noise — and they’re really not even that “major” — is Liberty Counsel, which is filing some bothersome lawsuits against state officials who involve themselves with marriage equality. This is basically an intimidation tactic, since everyone knows they won’t win any of those lawsuits. And they can’t possibly sustain this dumb tactic, since now that marriage has begun in earnest, there are more officials officiating than they can possibly sue.

But let’s not focus on our enemies in a time of celebration. Let’s just bask in the happiness of the gay couples getting married today. Several towns held or plan to hold mass weddings — Fort Lauderdale’s was at 3am this morning.

In Miami, marriages were allowed to start on Monday afternoon. “In the big picture, does it really matter whether or not I lift the stay or leave it until tomorrow?” a judge asked.

We’re now up to 36 states with the freedom to marry, and around 70 percent of the U.S. population. Wedding venues, caterers, and planners are already seeing a surge in activity — one restaurant owner says he’s seeing a 35 to 40 percent bump in business.

Of course, it doesn’t end here. Florida’s marriage cases are continuing to mosey slowly through state and federal court. Ultimately, we the U.S. Supreme Court is likely to step in and tell Liberty Counsel to stuff a sock in it once and for all. Fortunately, that may be exactly what happens very soon: SCOTUS meets on Friday of this week to decide whether to take up a marriage case in the next few months.

matt baume

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/oD3hk4c4UVM/florida-homophobes-sulk-in-shadows-as-marriages-commence-20150106

Jeb Bush Forms New PAC, Right To Rise – VIDEO

Jeb Bush Forms New PAC, Right To Rise – VIDEO

Jeb

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush has announced the creation of a new political action committee (PAC) as he continues to explore a presidential bid in 2016, The Washington Post reports. Bush made the announcement on social media, posting a video on Instagram and Facebook in both English and Spanish: 

In a video posted on the social-media site Instagram, Bush, walking casually in a dark winter jacket on a city street, said, “Hey, everybody, today we’re setting up the Right to Rise PAC, which is a PAC to support candidates that believe in conservative principles to allow all Americans to rise up.”

Not every commenter on the video was impressed. “What an awkwardly staged video: not looking that ‘hip’ to this Millennial voter, Jeb!” wrote one person.

RightThe name for Bush’s PAC is meant to show the type of Republican Bush views himself to be, one focused on combating poverty and joblessness and the so-called “policies of opportunity”: 

An admirer of the late New York Republican Jack Kemp, whose politics revolved around poverty issues, Bush is hoping to cast himself as a new kind of Republican, in the Kemp mold, by touting his ideas on economic empowerment. (Rep. Paul Ryan, the GOP’s 2012 vice-presidential nominee, has frequently used the phrase “right to rise” in speeches, as Bush has noted.)

Speaking at the Jack Kemp Foundation’s awards dinner in 2013, Bush said, “We are a center right country but conservatives won’t govern again soon unless we adopt the Kemp example to get outside our comfort zones, and to listen, learn and persuade.”

He added, “If he was with us now, I think he would agree we have strayed from the politics of winning, from the policies of opportunity and from achieving the governing needed to accomplish big things.”

You’ll recall that Bush recently suggested that gay marriage should be put to a public vote, saying of gay marriage in Florida, “It ought be a local decision. I mean, a state decision. The state decided. The people of the state decided. But it’s been overturned by the courts, I guess.” Bush walked back those remarks with a more calculated statement in which the former Governor and member of the famed political dynasty tried to not sound the bigot alarm yet made sure to invoke the outrage about gay marriage currently en vogue among right-wing-nuts: the cry of “religious liberty.” Said Bush,

“We live in a democracy, and regardless of our disagreements, we have to respect the rule of law. I hope that we can show respect for the good people on all sides of the gay and lesbian marriage issue – including couples making lifetime commitments to each other who are seeking greater legal protections and those of us who believe marriage is a sacrament and want to safeguard religious liberty.”

Watch Bush’s announcement, AFTER THE JUMP…

 


Sean Mandell

www.towleroad.com/2015/01/jeb-bush-forms-new-pac-right-to-rise-makes-announcement-on-instagram.html

Catholic Deacon Pens Inspiring Letter On Parenting Transgender Children

Catholic Deacon Pens Inspiring Letter On Parenting Transgender Children
For parents struggling with how to react when their child comes out as transgender, Catholic Deacon Ray Dever has three words of advice: Love your children.

In a touching blog published on the LGBT Catholic site, New Ways Ministry, Dever described his own experience having a child reveal her transgender identity while studying at Georgetown University. This happened shortly after Pope Francis made the groundbreaking remark “Who am I to judge?” in regards to the LGBT community and plunged his family “into all the questions and issues that Catholic families with LGBTQ children face.”

Suddenly the enduring notion of “the Catholic family” — discussed at length at the Vatican’s October Synod on the Family — took on a new meaning for the deacon. But for Dever, there was never a question of whether he would continue loving and cherishing his daughter, even as the path forward offered plenty of challenges.

When our daughter came out, my wife and I experienced the full range of thoughts and emotions that any parents do in that situation – shock at the news, a lack of understanding of gender issues, conflict with what the Church teaches about human sexuality, confusion and guilt about what we should do as parents, profound sadness at what felt like the loss of our son, fear and worry for what the future would hold for her. There were arguments, sleepless nights, and prayers – lots of prayers.

Ultimately, Dever and his wife were comforted to witness their child’s blossoming as she returned from a deep depression she had suffered with throughout high school.

“All the creativity, humor, empathy, and intelligence that make her an exceptional person are still there and are shining through stronger than ever,” Dever wrote. “And I’d like to think that the acceptance of her immediate and extended Catholic family have played some part in that positive transformation.”

In the midst of a church culture often antagonistic toward the LGBT community, New Ways Executive Director Francis DeBernardo applauded Dever for his unwavering love, which DeBernardo said echoes that of God “as a loving parent.”

“His testimony goes a long way to show that new perspectives are needed in the discussion of family and sexuality which was opened up at the Vatican synod in 2014,” DeBernardo said in an email to HuffPost.

“How can the Catholic Church discern how the Spirit is moving if it doesn’t hear firsthand from the people that are directly affected by institutional policies and practices? Deacon Dever’s essay shows that there is important evidence and valuable perspectives that the Church has not even examined.”

Dever acknowledged that he is “the exception,” as many religious parents have rejected their LGBT children — sometimes with tragic consequences. As far as the Catholic faith is concerned, though, Dever wrote that if one thing is “crystal clear…it is that everyone is included in His love and mercy and forgiveness, and that we are all called to do the same.”

Dever offered these final words of advice:

For those Catholic families with LGBTQ children that are struggling with what they should do, I would suggest that they look to the Holy Family. Look to the love embodied in the Incarnation, a love like no other, and embrace your children. As the Church calls us to do first and foremost, follow your conscience, love own [sic] another, and especially love your children.

H/T Mic

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/06/deacon-ray-dever-transgender-child_n_6418970.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Bryan Singer and Michelle Clunie Welcome Baby Boy: PHOTO

Bryan Singer and Michelle Clunie Welcome Baby Boy: PHOTO

Singer

X-Men Director Bryan Singer and actress Michelle Clunie have welcomed a baby boy, Singer announced just after midnight last night.

Tweeted Singer with the above photo: “Michelle Clunie and I would like to welcome our beautiful son Dashiell Julius William Clunie-Singer into the world :)”

Best friends for more than two decades, Singer and Clunie plan to co-parent the child.

Singer came out as bisexual in May while fighting sexual abuse charges in a lawsuit that was later withdrawn, and releasing his 10th feature film, X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Since her role as Melanie Marcus in Queer as Folk, Clunie has played a recurring character on Make It or Break It and has had numerous guest appearances on shows such as Bones, NCIS, The Mentalist, The Closer, and CSI.


Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2015/01/bryan-singer-and-michelle-clunie-welcome-baby-boy-photo.html